Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

Wobbled and failed, feel like shit now I've days and I've ballsed up.
Onward and upward, it's not when I get knocked down it's how I get back up yeah?

Start again tomorrow, you can do it!

I am still feeling fairly tense, but it will pass, went out earlier but left boyfriend to meet up with his old friends, I have just been reading.

I put on radio 3 as I quite like classical when I am reading, but currently they are playing a recording of a piano burning, they go weirdly experimental late evenings.

@notdoingitanymore yes it’s ok. Put it behind you now. You are not starting again because you know more about stopping now. Keep going

@notdoingitanymore
Please don’t give up. You are really not alone in wobbling and starting again. I’ve done it so many times over the last few years. I think it’s part of the journey and now I think I am ready never (big word) to drink alcohol again - but taking day by day (sometimes I write down the hours of the day and tick them off. Sometimes I break it down into 10 minute chunks from 7-9pm and focus on ticking them off!!)
Don’t be hard on yourself.

I’m up early to work so I can spend more time with my children later, which definitely would not have happened if I’d been drinking.

Happy Sunday everyone x

Cut yourself some slack notdoing - it's all a learning curve.

I am seriously fed up with this cold. Woke up at 5am with a nose full of snot again. I've tried everything bar going to the dr...think I need to bite the bullet.

Well done, Shingle that's great. DP taking DS out this morning so I can write (but I may just get under the duvet)...

Morning all,
Notdoingit- be kind to yourself. Huge kudos for coming straight on here and being accountable to yourself. Think about what happened and how it happened. Are you supporting yourself through this? I’m doing the Annie Grace 30 day challenge and it it so good - though you’d think it would help to try NOT to think of alcohol, it makes you think about it a lot - and it’s making me feel like I don’t ever want to touch it again! I’m also reading loads , including things like The Sober Diaries, which are really good for thought.

“Sometimes courage doesn’t roar like a lion. Sometimes courage is the small voice saying “I will try again tomorrow”

Be kind. Xx

Good morning, welcome to @puguin86, I think we've all been motivated by bad experiences, they are what got us to this point.

@notdoingitanymore, I've had a few false starts. The resolve I have found this time round is a lot to do with those failed attempts. Use what you have learned and remember you are not alone. There's lots of support on here, but have you considered looking for some help IRL?

My niggling headache had developed into a proper migraine by yesterday, so I've been wiped out by that. Just seen DC1 off to an activity and going to set up the others with some cartoons so I can go back to bed with a cup of tea and my kindle. So I'm not feeling brilliant, but it's better to have a migraine hangover than an alcohol hangover.

Hi everyone, what a great thread- I love what you’ve done with the place

I am on day 11 of Dry Jan/30 day alcohol experiment and am seriously thinking about making it 100 days, or maybe even a dry 2020.

My issue is with how habitual my drinking is. I don’t binge, I can happily have just one glass, I can easily do three nights AF in a week, but I simply cannot contemplate not having a drink Fri-Sunday. Sometimes Thursday. And I just don’t want to any more. It’s not bringing me anything I want, it’s just this awful shitty habit I’m stuck in.

I have a couple of big sporting events coming up, so my intention is to stay dry at least until they are over, but I am quietly contemplating just breaking up with alcohol for good!

Happy sober Sunday to you all!

@Drybird2020 found the thread. Will have a read through.

Definitely need some support if I'm gonna do this. I'll fall off the wagon if not.

Good morning everyone raises cup of tea in bed
@notdoing that could have been me last night. It's routines, it's expected, you want to and you a grown woman so why the hell not?! I was just hanging on to the many examples I am embarrassed about in my head and looking forward to not wasting days or having to change plans to accommodate my drinking. I've failed before too but because i didn't think I was as bad.
All here for you I hope you will stay with us.
Happy Sundays... I'm Nightshift tonight so using that as an excuse to cosy up and try to read... Apart from being straight on here!

Joining! I quit for 9 months in 2017 after spiraling depression. Felt better so ironically started drinking again! My husband hasn't drunk for almost 5 years so this should be easier with his support. I quit on Dec 29th and anxiety shot up over the first 10 days AF but now feeling much calmer, more relaxed and less bloated. The unexpected joy of being sober is a great read - the first few chapters reminded me of my London years in the 90s!

Thank you all for your support, I'm back starting again today

I'm in the queue for the Natural History Museum already - no way could I have done this after sitting up drinking red wine all night

@TeachesOfPeaches get you lol. Love that place full of interesting stuff.

I'm up and at em to.. done an hours work on my laptop and onto de-clutter day 2! Feeling very motivated (still a bit full of cold but sod it)

I'm going to get the drill out later and scare my husband into hanging the pictures I've been asking about since me moved 7 months ago!!

Have a great day all CC

Well done @notdoingitanymore.
Have you tried using the I am sober app? You see your sober count going up by the second, which I found helpful starting again after so many lapses.

I hope your migraine is better @Drybird2020. I really appreciate your support on this thread.

I had drinks too last night @notdoingitanymore. But all it did was reinforce that not drinking has been more fun. Usually after a period of abstinence I would have drunk loads but I had two small drinks, decided it was a mistake and went to bed. I'm not proud of my choice but I'm drawing a line under it and moving on. If slim people/someone with no food ussues eat a burger they don't think "that's it, I've made a mistake, may aswell just eat any thing I want everyday as I've ruined it all" That's a diet mentality. They would think "I'll have to eat better for the next few meals/go for a jog" and that mentality probably prevents them having to diet. Whereas someone on a diet might be stuffing biscuits because it's all ruined by the burger. The point is, this is one night in a million. Draw a line and make a better choice next time ♥️

@saltypotato that's good you feel that way
Sounds like you had a scratch to itch and now it's itched. Stopping at 2 is very good you have tested it and are strong. You are doing so well you are right back on track again. Do something nice today if you can

Can I join too?
Have 6 months sober at the moment. Managed a couple of years before that. Am doing it through AA which is the most effective method I've tried - and I have tried EVERYTHING!!

Hello crocodilly! Welcome!

Six months is incredible, well done. How are you feeling?

I'm joining too please. Need some help! Thank you.

Hello House Tornado. I'm not too bad. Feel much better now I've got through Christmas- it never seems to get any easier at that time of year. I couldn't have got this far without AA. I think having people to share the struggle with is what makes it work. This thread is a great idea.
Hello mumof2. Hope you're ok x

Day 12 here. Hi everyone!
So far so good, upped my exercise and keeping busy.
Like this Lonely Planet article on Sober Travel. We go away a lot and there’s some nice ideas.
www.lonelyplanet.com/articles/sober-travel-and-nightlife-europe?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=article

Can I join you all ? I really think it's time for me to say goodbye to wine for good . It disturbs my sleep ... I argue with DP and the morning after I feel so anxious and depressed .. I use any excuse to start "tomorrow " . I just don't want to be that person anymore. I did Dry January last year and felt 100% better. Like previous posters by Wednesday I'm buying wine and it has to stop .. I think finding like minded people here will help me .. So .. here I am on Day 1

I really like your way of thinking saltypotato, it's so easy to have a spiral of negative thinking after making one bad choice.

One thing I read ages ago is that the decision to have a drink is usually made days before it happens, so a person plays with the idea of "well I could... in just that situation". It's why taking it one day at a time is important, just decide to not drink today.