Wankerbastards move to 2020. With moderatin' a plenty. We rage against flouncers, strops and teens, and of dryness we have big dreams. We want teacups not fuckups!

[Frouby]

Thread 9 for the tryers to be dryers. Join us if you want some support to reduce alcohol. All welcome for support, laughs and moderating.

Will tag a few peoples name I can spell as I am useless at clicky links.

@flossie
@madameforest
@longestlurkerever
@dionoysa
@waterandlemonjuice

I ❤️❤️❤️ Withnail and I too

Very quickly... laughing at noisy clattering, Water. And at the photo, Longest!

Frouby, Kallax is very much a reason not to be AF. No idea what my excuse is, though, other than habit.

NC4, well done on being AF despite all that's going on with you and your family. x

Water, I'll join you en retrait.

Which reminds me to send a hug to Madame.

Definitely go for a retreat. I've been googling yoga breaks to Ibiza tonight. I can't afford one but I might get round to booking that spa day my mum bought me for Christmas.

Longest your DD . Better than bunny ears or stars around her head. the girl's got style!

I love Withnail & I. XH and I once went on holiday by mistake to Uncle Monty's cottage. We were supposed to camp but it was raining like in the opening scenes and blowing an absolute gale, so we drove home, bought pizza and cider and camped in the front room with the film on the TV. That was back in the days when we were still friends.

AF doesn't feel much of an achievement today given how much I've drunk this week, but thanks anyway Dion. Hope you're OK.

Lol NC4 - "we've come on holiday by mistake". One of the top three overused sayings in our house, along with "we're not from London" and "don't threaten me with a dead fish".

Talking of retreats, i am trying to persuade dh we should book a remote Scottish cottage for October half term and catch the sleeper train. He might compromise on May half term and flying, the peasant.

Have just been swimming at lido and have a nifty extra half hour before i need to fetch dd from her party. This is the life.

Said 5th birthday party is Frida Kahlo themed. I can't help but worry i have crossed over into self parody

longest, haha at crossed over into self parody 😂 it sounds a bit like the Grim Up North London cartoon from Private Eye, Frida for 5 year olds, funny!

NC4 ha ha at going on holiday by mistake but coming home again.

Laughing at the Frida Kahlo theme. Makes a change from pirates and princesses, anyway.

Meant to be AF, but I am 1,000 times not, as NDNs invited me round.

FML.

However, half term is nearly over, yay, yay, yay.

Pmsl at Froda Kahlo theme. If I did that here I would get a lot of wtf faces at the school gates.

Was dry last night for the first time in about 12 days I think. Didn't sleep brilliantly despite being knackered cos twatting wankerbastard dh got up to watch the bloody boxing and was in and out of bed like a bloody yoyo. He's also on the shitlist for not cleaning the kitchen properly after making himself breakfast Sunday morning, not jumping in the general waste bin, not cleaning the chickens out yesterday and not taking the dog out yesterday while I was at the hospital. Just generally not fucking adulting. Mainly because he was tired from being up from 3.30am to watch the fucking boxing.

Was chatting to my smear nurse last week and she told me her partner doesn't live with her. He comes friday night after work and leaves sunday afternoon. Can you imagine? Sounds like absolute bliss.

So I refused to make a sunday dinner, told him I was tired because he had kept me up all night and to make his own fucking tea 😂.

Aunty looks very jaundiced, shes very, very yellow. They keep trying to manage without her drip but keep having to put it back in. And still no idea what's causing it. Waiting for biopsy results this week. She said they had told her she may be able to go home today but I can't see it personally, she's been put back on the drip overnight. Sigh.

And it's pissing it down and fucking freezing here. Fml.

But apart from all that moaning I feel vetter for an AF night. Definetly up for a 4 day, if not 5 day challenge this week if anyone fancies it.

Frouby, sorry your auntie is not doing well.

I was thinking about you this morning and thinking “I need to be more like Frouby on the cleaning front, she’s organised”. When I woke up I thought I could smell smoke so I leapt out of bed (it was 9am) and into dd’s room, thinking she’d maybe left her straighteners on. She hadn’t but OMGFG the STATE of it! I’ve stripped the bed, taken a whole black bin liner of rubbish downstairs and collected about 20 glasses / plates etc. The windows are still open, it was minging. So I’ve put the dishwasher on, done two loads of washing so dar, tidied dds room and I’m about to strip my bed, put away clean washing and tidy the living room. How exciting, not.

I’m completely up for doing a good stint AF, today is day 1 again.

Lol waterI have to be organised or we would descend into filth and chaos. It helps I wfh and can't bear to work in a mess.

Have had a very productive but no housework day so far. Did last weeks invoice for the business, then an hours matched betting then thought I had better look at the VAT return which is due by the end of the month. Normally takes 2 days but having more or less cracked quickbooks by accident managed to rattle through it in 2 hours. Then came up and cleaned the chickens out. So 2 big jobs done and out of the way.

I find just cracking on and doing the worst jobs first makes the easy jobs easier. And a big declutter twice a year. And as much storage as you can get away with for the things you do need.

Now picking ds up, going to shower the chicken smell off me then make a chicken dinner.

Frouby, i bloody love my ridiculous bubble! Finally got a more satisfactory response from big boss on sabisky nonsense too so feeling more settled.

Ugh but new worry, dodgy neighbours' chimney is half collapsed and in danger of dropping a ton of bricks on to my yard. Have tried calling round and leaving a note but have not seen them for ages and the head of the household is rumoured to be in prison. Don't really know how to take it forwards but i will co-opt community minded neighbour from the other side i think, who is unlikely to let it lie!

Was AF last night and felt better for it but am hosting mil and dm this week, plus going out with friends, so unlikely to manage a long stretch. Aiming for tues and potentially thurs though, depending on when dm leaves.

Well that’s day 1 AF more or less done, there’s no white wine in the house. Will take to my bed soon.

I’ve done 6 loads of washing, put clean washing away, made a packed lunch, contacted a college about dd’s application, emailed school x 2, tidied 3 bedrooms, including mine, changed 2 loads of bedding, tidied dd’s bedroom, emptied dishwasher, put the bins out, spent an hour on the phone getting a buildings insurance quote - saved £39 woo hoo - cooked supper, which was omelette with red pepper, left over broccoli and green beans, mushrooms and cheese with salad, nicer than it sounds. LIVING THE DREAM LADIES 😂

water you were definitely living the dream there. I love productive days.

Was dry last night whoop whoop. Slept like a log from 10pm to 5.20am, woke for a wee, then really didn't want to get up when the alarm went off but I must have needed it.

Got a Morrisons Big Shop to do this morning, then a bit of housework, couple of hours of work then dds parents evening after school. Dragging ds with us which will be Fun with a capital F.

Dreading tomorrow. Ds has apparently got damaged number 6 teeth. His back ones haven't come through properly. According to dentist it can be hereditary and dh had to have all 4 number 6 teeth removed when he was 11so assume it's that. He's been having a bit of toothache there so dentist wants to fill them. Had a choice of referral to dental hospital cos he's only 6 or trying in our dentist so we are going to try and do them in our dentist. He's been bribed with £10 per filling towards lego but still not confident we will get the anesthesic in then the drill.

God, Frouby, there's always something, isn't there?

Someone would have to bribe me with more than donations towards Lego to get me to have multiple fillings.

Water, your DD's bedroom sounds like my DD's. I'm impressed by your productive day, though. I'm going to try to achieve at least one useful thing today.

Managed to be AF last night, but only because I had wine for lunch.

Aiming for actual AF today. DD is going to her dad's, so I might try going to bed at 5.30 and staying there.

Longest, I hope someone takes responsibility for the chimney.. presumably your buildings insurance will cover it if their chimney comes down and damages your property? Good luck with hosting this week. It’s hard work, I know. We consciously decided to stop inviting people here last Easter, with a very few exceptions, and life is a lot easier for it.

Madame, I think the funeral is tomorrow, I hope it goes as well as these things can. I hope you’re ok, we are thinking of you 💐

Frouby, poor ds and his teeth, eek. He’s 6 I think? Good luck with getting it sorted.

Dionysa, as you know, taking to bed early plus no wine in the house works for me. Well done on an AF evening.

So far not as productive as I set my alarm to get up and make dd boiled eggs and to take her to school. Came back and was still tired so had an hours snooze on the sofa. Online shopping just delivered so I’ve put that away and I probably ought to shower soon. Taking dd to a sixth form interview at 3 so there isn’t a lot of the day left

Day 2 AF here (assuming I don’t drink tonight, which I won’t)

Just re read my post Dion and it sounds like 6 teeth need filling, it's 2 that need filling, his number 6 teeth (back molars) if that makes more sense lol. Am quite upset by it and frustrated. Been pinning the little shit down since he was 6 months old to clean the fuckers, wrestling sweets out of his grubby mitts and being smug that apart from the odd fruit shoot while we are out, he only drinks water and occasionally milk.

It's apparently a thing that can happen when they are either ill as babies or hereditary. Which made me feel a bit better but not much.

Spent £170 in Morrisons ffs. Did get some new jeans and a top though but they were only £20. Will only need to do an aldi top up shop next week though, and maybe a bit over the weekend when I decide what I want for Saturday night.

Really think the cost of food is creeping up. I haven't bought anything fancy. £150 is a lot of money and there isn't loads there, no big joints of meat or anything. Some fish, veg, fruit, cleaning stuff, toothpastes, £24 on 2 crates of beer for dh though. I was virtuous and bought becks blue for me. Some freezer bits, some tinned stuff.

Freezer is rammed though I must admit. Need a week of freezer surprise. Might do a lasagne for Sunday instead of sunday dinner, then a roast dinner monday night.

Am going for day 3 today. If I can survive tonight after parents evening I can survive anything 😂😂😂

Frouby i hear you, my dd had to have teeth removed last year and i felt awful. Turned out she even had an abscess. She had to have sedation. I have been wrestling with teeth brushing forever too. Dh has crap teeth despite spending hours brushing whereas mine seem to be indestructible.

Also agree re food. We do an online ship for basics and i used to have to work hard to get to the £100 minimum for free delivery, now it takes seconds.

Was not AF last night but stuck to 1/3 bottle. Aiming for AF tonight and moderate rest of week.

Well that's day 3 in the bag. Fuck knows how, parents evening didn't finish until gone 6pm. Poor ds was raging at being dragged round a billionty different teachers lol.

Dd doing very well, am super proud. In travk for an amazing set of GCSEs from 7s to maybe a few nines 😲😲😲. So she's very chuffed. Have also told all her teachers she may not do all her homework as she's struggling to revise and do homework. And if she can talk me through the homework, show she has understood it and then show me what revision she has done instead I won't be expecting any consequences from them. Have spoken to the teacher that supports her with her processing disorder and she completely agrees so dd happier with that.

Had a couple of becks blue, just going to jump in shower then going to bed. Think I am coming down with something, feel really tired and my throat is a bit sore and been using my blue inhaler more often.

It's either that or withdrawal from alcohol after a 2 week wet spell 😂😂😂.

Well done frouby dd! Great news!

I feel a bit peaky too, though it might have something to do with all the smoke i inhaled at the woodcraft barbecue. Never quite convinced about their version of pancake day, they are hard enough to cook over a normal stove imo. Still, it was nice to see them all playing out again.

AF here. Bit stressed about how much work i have on, but hopefully it'll settle a bit.

Well done to your dd Frouby 🙂 I feel shit too, knackered and wondering if it’s being AF too.

I just posted this on the alcohol support
For the past year I have been drinking a bottle of wine a night. I am a single parent to 3 girls aged 17, 13 and 5 and life has been pretty tough dealing with DD self harm and eating disorder which are still on going.
I took to drinking wine every night. I hate doing it. I go to the gym 4/ 5 times a week and love going and I work everyday and love my job and the routine.
I want to stop, I dont want to feel like this anymore, tonight feeling very tearful but have had a good day. Im exhausted though.
Ive not spoken to anyone about this apart from my step mum at the weekend. I was very close to my manager at work (who I am still close with but shes stepped down) and we have a new manager and I cant imagine talking to her about home life
I dont want to do it anymore. Im so tearful tonight. Ive joined you before but havent posted for ages x

Hi again badger. My dd has self harmed too, it’s hard to cope with isn’t it? Ages ago we talked on here (or I did!) about how drinking too much is self harming too, because it is. I definitely have used it as a crutch before. Doesn’t work of course, just temporarily stops me giving a shit!

IIRC you did a stint AF didn’t you or am I thinking of someone else?

What helps you? It’s different for everyone but for me I need to have no cold white wine in the house. (I’m not tempted by other alcohol really) Plus I use an app to record AF days plus I post here plus I take to my bed fairly early plus I cook non fancy food as I’m less likely to want wine with it. So soups, cottage pie etc.

I also listened to a hypnosis track on YouTube and I have the Calm app, I use the deep sleep meditations and the anti anxiety ones. Ihope this doesn’t sound smug, I definitely haven’t cracked moderating yet but I’m doing better than I was and have had several months completely AF in the past year or so.

Hello everyone. I’m being productive again: 2 loads of washing done, clean washing away, packed lunch made, top of bins cleaned, sink in bathroom cleaned, my bed changed AND 1.5 miles on the treadmill which is good as I definitely don’t exercise at all, I mean enough 😂

Also had long phone call with a friend and that was cheering. I feel justified in not doing much else this afternoon now.

Day 3 AF here, assuming I don’t drink tonight which I won’t. I hope everyone is ok.

Hi water and lemon thank you so much for your reply. Self harm is hard and I have never thought about wine as being self harm.
To be honest I dont really know what helps me in the evenings, ive got puzzles, colouring and cant concentrate. I did go to the gym tonight and my eldest put little one to bed and it was nice. I used to go to the gym quite a lot in the evenings but got out of the habit as started going after work at 1pm. I think maybe that is the way forward for me.Once the fitness kicks back in I will probably think twice about consuming extra calories on wine.
Day 3, well done! Do you feel any different? x

Welcome back HedgeHog. I'm finding evenings tough as well, they seem so flat but have downloaded a couple of twisty books to read and I need to be sober to follow them, so that's helped a bit. At least in the summer I can be out and about til late hopefully if the weather ever picks up.

Day fucking 4 here. Whoop whoop. Fuck knows how. Dentist with ds was every bit as horrific as I thought it would be. Between me, the dentist and the dental nurse we managed to get 1 of the 2 fillings done. Rebooked for number 2 but not confident we will get it done now he knows that the little scratch isn't a little scratch at all.

Had to treat him to lego afterwards. Chucked £30 towards his left over birthday money and he got a huge minecraft set. So he ended up happy enough.

He's absolutely shattered though. Can hesr him arguing with dh now and I am ignoring it to try and have 5 mins peace. Have also knackered my back. Think it was lifting wheelbarrow on monday. Ibu and paracetamol seems to be taking the edge off fortunately.