I need your help please

[Dotty2019]

I need your help to enable me to stop drinking.

I'm drinking every day and far too much. I couldn't get out of bed this morning to take the children to school. Probably a good thing as I would have been over the limit anyway.

I'm sick of feeling crap all the time. Why do I do it? I can't just have one glass. As soon as I start I think sod it and just carry on drinking until I physically can't any more.
I have so many problems in my life but this is one I can control so I'm starting with stopping drinking.
I'm going to use this thread to keep reminding me how much I need to do this. I would love some support and positive stories if anyone wants to join me.
Day 1 starts today! Thank you for reading

I finally admitted after another OD last week that my depression has been greatly exaggerated by alcoholism. Aim to give up completely for ever as previous attempts to cut down have failed. My life was about that next drink. 2nd aa meeting tonight. They are all so welcoming and finally found some people who understand me. Good luck everyone

@Ditchedtheuselesswanker
Brilliant well done. Many of us have all had a moment thinking alcohol will blur depression and know that it makes it worse. Now that you are making moves you will have a better chance of attacking the depression.
For an awful lot of people abstension is absolutely the right answer. I have noticed recently that society is catching on and sobriety is a strength not a weakness. It took a while withcar seat belts, drink driving and more recently smoking.
I am loving the variety of adult non alcoholic drinks. Every person who shares will support others.
I have some new rules/ red lines for my attempts at moderation

1. Not to slip into the kitchen to make a cup of tea and sneak a half glass of wine while the kettle boils
2. Not to hide any empty bottles or slip off the the recycling.
3. Not to have a glass of wine whilst I cook the tea.

Of course I wouldnt need rules if I just went alcohol free entirely... I suspect that will be the best end. Now where is my peach juice with ginger and cayenne? Club soda is another good site for support

I have just found this thread and hope you don't mind me hopping on. I am so fed up of the tiredness caused by my love of wine. For me, it's not just the relaxing aspect,but, even more, I just love the taste. Tomorrow I won't buy any- that's a start.

Welcome Ditchedtheuslesswanker and Carolamc
Hopefully you can find this thread as helpful as I am. The support and advice I have received has been amazing.

Well, day 7 done and thankfully I feel much better than last week when I started this thread. Hopefully I have broken the whole cycle of waking up feeling crap, swearing never to drink again, feeling slightly better as the day goes on then having a drink in the evening to perk myself up (hope that makes sense?)

Feeling a lot better in myself. I have a lot of worries at the moment and the thing keeping me going is how much worse I would feel if I had been drinking.

I have been eating a lot of rubbish but I allowed that last week but aim to try and be healthier this week.
One day at a time. Good luck everyone with their goals this week and be kind to yourselves x

I managed to go and meet my friends on Saturday and only had one glass of prosecco. I refused all other drinks even though I was staying overnight and could have had drinks. I said I wasn't feeling right and no one really questioned it. It was lovely to wake up clear headed yesterday. I won't be drinking this week as I have an essay to write by Friday! Need a clear head for that.

Appoloanddaphne well done!
I haven't been out socially yet and I'm worried too about what excuse I can give. Not sure if I could manage going out just yet. That's a huge achievement so really well done. Nice waking up with a clear head isn't it?

Day 2 for me done, and one good nights sleep so far.. I forgot to say I live in Sw France, not far from an awful lot of vineyards. And the temptation is so very great. I don't think I will ever go completely alcohol free. I just want to stop after a glass.

My husband hardly drinks (Diet Coke addict though), so when I open a bottle of wine, it's mine,all mine. My most worrying time last week was when I drank a full bottle of wine all by myself. I haven't done much of that before. I was at home, it tasted so good, I just kept on drinking it. And then had a dreadful night.

Well done Dotty!
I did have a few on friday and saturday but nothing crazy and back to 0 yesterday. I feel really happy by cutting down for now.
I went for lunch with friends yesterday and took the car and planned to do the week shopping so did not drink at all and it just felt a very productive day.

Well done Carolamc that must be terribly hard living in France! Not only nice wines but cheap I can imagine?
Well done Need that's great news! It's amazing how much more productive you are when you haven't binged the night before.
I think keeping busy is the key and thinking of all the positives of not drinking. I think I only really enjoyed that first glass of wine and then the others were not as enjoyable.
So, into my second week and looking forward to getting lots of jobs done and feeling even better!

Another day over for me!
I hope if you have not managed to stop or cut down my posts don't dishearten you.
I have tried many many times to stop for a while. But this time something has definitely 'clicked' for me. I used to feel so useless for not being able to stop but I guess I just wasn't in the right mind.
So please don't feel bad if you haven't managed to reach your goals. I'm going to keep posting on here because I find it so helpful.

Hi Dotty, I've been following your post since the start and you are doing so well. I'm glad you feel like something has clicked. I've been alcohol free since Sunday after another binge weekend. My problem is I'm fine during the week but as soon as Friday/Sat comes I can binge on a few bottles of wine and basically waste my weekend feeling tired and irritated. My 2 year old daughter deserves much better than this. Every Monday I say I'm going to quit but by the Friday I'm itching for a wine. It's so pointless and I hate the guilt and remorse I feel the next day. I feel exhausted for days after and I can't lose weight either. My face and stomach feel so bloated. I've also joined the alcohol experiment and really enjoying the videos. I'm dreading the weekend as I'm scared I give in. So I've booked a few activities with my wee one to keep me busy. How are you feeling heading into your second weekend off the wine?

Hi Cherry111
Yes the weekends are very hard. Before I started drinking more or less every day I used to try and hold out for the weekends. Like you I spent weekends tired and irritable.
It's like your reward after a long week isn't it?
I found keeping busy last weekend a help. Also I had a lot of driving so I couldn't really drink.
I did think I would cave in on Saturday but by the time I got home the feeling past.
Maybe cut down to just Saturday? And try and start later so you drink less?
It actually helps that I feel so bloody ill with a hangover, so I keep reminding myself of how bad I feel.
To be honest I'm not thinking about the weekend yet. One day at a time is how I'm taking it. The alcohol experiment has definitely helped me and this thread. Good luck and please keep posting. Even if you don't manage your goals we are all here to support and not judge x

Hi everyone! I am her and doing well, AF since Sunday so pretty happy with myself. I have agreed to have a table at a little craft fair which I am panicking about because I need to make enough stuff to make look decent! So that's been great because it has keep well and truly away from the wine!
I am so happy to read that you are doing so well Dotty, and everyone else keep going!

Sorry not only typos but missed a few words it's too early

I really recommend 'Sober for good' by Anne Fletcher

Hi Need and well done you!
Had a really bad day yesterday. So many things went wrong and I felt so sad.
I didn't have a drink because I knew it wouldn't help today. I'm feeling really bad this evening and feel like a drink. This is the first time I'm really craving it. Trying to talk myself out of it though. Life is so crap

Hi Dotty. You have been doing so well. Think how good you’ve been feeling each morning getting up with a clear head. Would it help to talk about what made your week so crap?

Hi iamyourequal
Just money worries really and appliances breaking in the house. Nothing major. We all have our health and not destitute but just feel like I'm taking one step forward and three back.
Then arguments with DH and teenagers because I'm so stressed.
I think that's why I have been drinking so much to numb things. Thank you for asking I am ok just feeling sorry for myself.
I didn't reach for the wine so going to have an early night. Not sure what tomorrow will bring but at least not a hangover .
Good luck over the weekend everyone x

Well done getting through Friday night. Tomorrow is a new day. Take care. Off to bed myself too, as feeling rather tired and grouchy with my lot too..

Well managed my first Friday night in god knows how long with no wine. I had ice cream instead. Woke up today after another great sleep, fresh and been playing with my little one, cleaning and feel so productive. I like this. On day 7 but I am in no doubt this will probably get harder. Hope you have a more stress free Saturday. How are you all feeling today?

Just checking in
I've had wine. My 14year old DD went missing tonight. Long story but she told us a lie and was out where she shouldn't have been. I was worried sick and once found safe I opened a bottle. I know I'm going to regret this tomorrow but I couldn't cope
Sorry everyone I feel like I let you and me down.
Determined not to sleep back into my bad habits though
Sorry

Can I join the thread please? Much like the rest of you, I've been drinking too much for years. Tried moderating many times - it never worked.
Saw Confusedbeetle's post recommending The Alcohol Experiment and I've signed up. First AF day today, 29 to go. I read Allen Carrs book a couple of months ago but it didn't quite gel, but the idea was sound. TAE seems a slightly updated version.
It's been interesting doing the "Why do I drink? and "Why do TAE?" lists today. Drinking is so deeply rooted in my life.

Hey Dotty, hope you are all ok. Try not beat yourself up about it. It's so hard to break the habit, especially when we run to wine to block stuff out as I do also 💐

Hi Silver (sorry I don't know how to tag yet) good for you, I'm also following the alcohol experiment and finding it helpful. I'm on day 8 and trying to hang in there. Survived my first weekend. I'm like you and can't really moderate. I just binge x

Hi everyone!
Dottie, don't beat yourself up, just draw a line and carry on. You are doing really well xx

Can I join too please. I'm done with it. I fed up alcohol being in control. I drink every night. A few things happened over the weekend and I've had enough feeling guilt and shame.