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Alcohol support

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Original poster

I need your help please

295 replies

Dotty2019 · 04/11/2019 10:21

I need your help to enable me to stop drinking.

I'm drinking every day and far too much. I couldn't get out of bed this morning to take the children to school. Probably a good thing as I would have been over the limit anyway.

I'm sick of feeling crap all the time. Why do I do it? I can't just have one glass. As soon as I start I think sod it and just carry on drinking until I physically can't any more.
I have so many problems in my life but this is one I can control so I'm starting with stopping drinking.
I'm going to use this thread to keep reminding me how much I need to do this. I would love some support and positive stories if anyone wants to join me.
Day 1 starts today! Thank you for reading

OP posts:
Strugglingagain · 21/11/2019 11:40

Dotty. No i am pretty good at hiding it and atm using my anti ds as an excuse for me feeling so shite. They do make me feel crap to start with. Plus i drink earlier so i have sobered by time they home. I have probs until this weekend and their sympathy for me feeling shitty will dry up.. so i need to stop. I dont like admitting i cant drink again so just gonna go down the route of i dont fancy a drink. We have a 60th to go to on 30th and i am hoping i drive and dont drink. Hoping to be at least 1 week in by then. We will see. Other half working tonight. I am allowed a bottle of wine a week so gonna see if he can get me one on way home to have half tonight and half tomoro... obvs i know full well i already have a bottle waiting for me. I dont like the pressure of someone else telling me no... makes me furious... and watching what i drink. Thats when shit starts. I obvs feel like they want to start an argument. So i gotta do this on my own without their knowledge as such xx

lovemyfurrywuff · 21/11/2019 11:58

The secretiveness is a nightmare isn't it? I was having two straight rums as soon as I got in and before OH got in so it looked like I was only starting drinking when he came in. Trying not to speak as I was slurring my words slightly. Pressure, pressure, pressure, exhausting. The irony is I left my own ex husband as he was an alcoholic. I see myself doing things that he used to do. Sneaky drinking, not wanting to do anything at night as it would stop/interrupt my drinking. The list goes on and on....

Original poster
Dotty2019 · 21/11/2019 12:01

I get the hump too when DH tells me to slow down or drink from a smaller glassHmm
Makes me more defiant and I end up drinking more to spite him.
Unfortunately I then end up feeling worse the next day.
How much would you say you are drinking in a week and when you say you are allowed a bottle a week is that from your DH?

OP posts:
iamyourequal · 21/11/2019 20:07

Hi All. Strugglingagain in answer to your question I am still drinking at the moment. My plan is to spend now to Christmas trying to get into a routine of moderation. If I don’t manage it, my plan is to go AF from January for at least a month and see how I am doing. I am not a huge problem drinker, but my default is to have 3 drinks a night most nights and that is unhealthy and leaves me really sluggish. I managed 24 days AF October-Nov and felt great generally but bored on weekend nights. I hope you get through this and back off it if you had been happy AF before. I know it’s really hard. I occasionally have wee sneaky drinks. These are if I have visitors coming. If I am really nervous I have a double vodka to calm my nerves before they arrive. This happens no more than 4-6 times a year. How is everyone tonight?

lovemyfurrywuff · 21/11/2019 20:44

I'm on night four and the sugar cravings have been huge today. Is this normal when you go AF? I've eaten loads of sweets. I'm feeling okay about not drinking, early days though..

Coyoacan · 22/11/2019 03:46

I managed to stop drinkinking two years ago. Bashes to everyone who is starting on this road. I found it helped to take a lot of vitamin B complex. Alcohol depletes vitamin B from your system so ups the stress

Strugglingagain · 22/11/2019 07:11

Coyoacan - i second the vit b recomendation. From when i drank terribly last time i was having pains in my knees and feet. Really bizarre but extremely painful. After a blood test at the docs my vit b12 was really low. Now i have vitb12 injections every 12 weeks at the doctors and have to for the forseeable.. possibky for life.

I had half of the bottle i got yesterday in the pm and hubby bought me the 1 bottle last night. Only had 2 glasses, half wine half lemonade. I always do half and half as i dont actually like the taste of it on its own... crazy right? So why still drink it... the mind baffles.

Toddler is teething so was having a bad time going to sleep so i decided an early night was needed.

Todayisanewday75 · 22/11/2019 07:31

That sounds like good progress Struggling! You're definitely heading in the right direction

Todayisanewday75 · 22/11/2019 07:37

The taste thing is weird isn't it, I do quite like the taste of white wine but sometimes get a bottle I don't like, but do I leave it? No I add a ton of ice to make it more palatable

Cherry111 · 22/11/2019 07:48

Hi guys, last night was my hardest night. I was angry, irritable and on the verge of tears. That is the time I would reach for the bottle and basically down it within an hour. I didn't. I went to bed. My inner voice is telling me I can't handle my emotions without wine and I'm scared when these times crop up if I'm strong enough to not drink. But I didn't last night so that's good. Day 13 AF. Not looking forward to the weekend as I'm bored when I'm not drinking. It's like every day is the same. On a positive note, my skin is looking great, my face isn't puffy and red and I've lost about 5lbs. Just need to keep going. Much love to you all. This shit is hard x

Gracey88 · 22/11/2019 08:04

Hi everyone I'm on day 2 AF, it was my birthday on Tuesday and I drank during the celebrations and Wednesday but felt so sick come Wednesday evening so am back on it.

I don't want to drink till Christmas now so going to be AF, I've been having vitamin b complex and magnesium too, to help me relax and sleep better.

How does everyone manage not to drink on the weekends?

lovemyfurrywuff · 22/11/2019 08:51

This is day 5 for me and my first weekend AF. Going out with friends for a meal but would have had wine for sure. I feel strong though so fingers crossed.

Strugglingagain · 22/11/2019 09:27

You are all doing so well. Gonna get this weekend out of the way and start AF from Sunday.

Yes days where you really need it the best thing is to go to bed and sleep it off. I find getting stuck into a series of some kind on netflix is good to take the mind of it.

My hubby is working tonight so i will be able to drink in relative peace... that's if my teen doesnt kick off.. she tends to pick fights when she knows i have had a drink. Thats how it feels anyway.

Hope you all have a fab weekend.. try keep busy! Xx

Cherry111 · 22/11/2019 12:38

Hi Gracey, well done. I've also been taking cod liver oil, vitamins B & D and iron every day. I don't know if it's helping but it makes me feel better. Last weekend was easier as it was my first weekend, this one will be harder. I have a massive dairy milk I'll probably eat to keep my mind off it. How are you feeling about the weekend?

Love, that's great you are socialising and not drinking. Stay strong and think how great you will feel.

Struggling, I think we both have a toddler and a teen, I have a son at 17. He absolutely hates it when I drink. I think this is because he knows I change when I've had a drink and he gets scared and on edge. Another reason I am stopping. My partner is also out on Sunday night and that's the time I love to have wine, when I have peace and by myself with no one to annoy me.

Good luck this weekend everyone x

lovemyfurrywuff · 22/11/2019 13:51

Everything I've read says to carry on going out etc so I'll go out and take the car. I'm looking forward to waking up on Sunday without 'the fear'.

Coyoacan · 22/11/2019 17:34

Everything I've read says to carry on going out etc

I would normally meet a friend for supper and a glass of wine every week and kept that up without the wine on my part, no real problem, but I did avoid Christmas celebrations that year and I felt the temptation would be too much.

Even if you don't like AA, which I think is brilliant, I do think "One day at a time", is a good motto. Generally today at least I'll hold off and not drink. I've such an addictive personality and it was so hard for me to get around to giving up, I've had to give it up for life.

lovemyfurrywuff · 22/11/2019 18:05

Friday night, no wine, temptation strong but I won't go the bottle in the cupboard. I can do this! Where's the sweeties...

Mammatino · 22/11/2019 18:07

I just wanted to say that I think you are all doing brilliantly well. Just talking about it here is really positive. Day by day is a great mantra or even hour by hour... Pushing that drink back half an hour might give you the strength to hold off another hour. Thinking of you all and sending you good thoughts.

Silversleeve · 22/11/2019 18:47

We went to our heavy drinking friends yesterday evening and I took my bottle of sparking water. When they asked if I wanted a drink I said Yes, I'd love some sparkling water and explained i was on a 30 day no alcohol challenge. The positive answer DID make a change to my feelings - I wasn't missing out. Everyone else drank but no one questioned my choice. We had a lovely evening and I drove home!

I've tried to cut down lots of times in the past and never succeeded - then beaten myself up about it. I think going alcohol free is the only things that is going to work for me. Day 6 today. Keep strong everyone.

lovemyfurrywuff · 22/11/2019 18:54

Totally AF the only way for me too. I've such an addictive personality. I'm like that with everything. I know if I have one it will turn into the bottle and then it'll all start over again. Well done Silver getting through then evening, that'll be me tomorrow.

Strugglingagain · 23/11/2019 06:44

We have a 60th to go to next weekend and i plan on being AF and driver. Its 6.30am and i have been up 2 hours already... due to toddler. Think today is the day i sort my shit out. Waking up and drinking leftover wine... wtf! Think today is the day i let my other half know how bad things are getting... should i? Is it to much pressure!? He will be supportive as much as he can but doesnt understand depression or alcohol at all and i feel he thinks im pathetic! Tells me to sort myself out and dont be weak! Its good when i need that kind of support but not when i am at my worst!

Poured another after leftovers and now already feel drunk and need to go back to bed. He has worked last night and didnt get home till 1am so he needs sleep to! Fuck sake.. fml

Strugglingagain · 23/11/2019 08:01

So this below is what i have just sent my other half.. god help me

Strugglingagain · 23/11/2019 08:02

I need u to get up babes. Im a mess. Ive fucked up big time and im so sorry. There was a half glass of vk left over... I drank it this morning at 4.30 when courtney first woke up. Led on settee... she didnt go back to sleep! Brought her down at 5.30am. Instead of a bru i decided to pour myself a wine and lemonade! The wine u bought.. the one that is rank... Dickhead move.. I know! Now i am a little drunk and need bed.

I dont need professional help i just need your support babe... again! Big ask i know but u love me right?

If u need to read up on how to help with depression and alcohol please do xxxx

Don't belittle me and tell me i am weak and pathetic... i can do this like i have before. Don't know why i felt the need to have a drink so early today .. felt rough as shite and just so tired... 'might aswell... its here' moment no doubt xxxx

Anti ds are kicking in and i have felt good last 2 days.. until now! Downfall... BIG!!

Not gonna drink again at all... sober is for me. Was so happy last 2 year's without drink and i know it and i miss it so much... And i will be again... I miss the real me!

I love u and both my girls so fucking much... and i will make u all proud of me xxxx

Please pour away the wine that is left. Only we need to know whats happened today. No one else. It wont happen again xxxx i promise u... i am done... fully xxxx I want to be a great mum to courts like i have been up to now... want to stay a great mum and i am not having this shit wreck us all again. We are so much stronger than that.. i am so much stronger xxxx

Mammatino · 23/11/2019 08:23

@Strugglingagain. How are you feeling? Do you feel able to get a cup of tea? Or a glass of lemonade just to add some other fluids. You will get back to where you need to be. You are going to be OK. I just want you to know someone is thinking of you and feeling your pain. If you can go back to bed it's best to try to sleep it off and start the day again. Do whatever you need to do to survive the day. X

lovemyfurrywuff · 23/11/2019 08:53

Struggling - don't know what to say apart from we are here for you. Big hugs.