I need your help please

[Dotty2019]

I need your help to enable me to stop drinking.

I'm drinking every day and far too much. I couldn't get out of bed this morning to take the children to school. Probably a good thing as I would have been over the limit anyway.

I'm sick of feeling crap all the time. Why do I do it? I can't just have one glass. As soon as I start I think sod it and just carry on drinking until I physically can't any more.
I have so many problems in my life but this is one I can control so I'm starting with stopping drinking.
I'm going to use this thread to keep reminding me how much I need to do this. I would love some support and positive stories if anyone wants to join me.
Day 1 starts today! Thank you for reading

So glad you have signed up. A couple of tips, login every day and listen to the videos. Write in the journal and read everyones posts. Get some grown up sippy drinks, Nix and Kiks spicy fruit are great, mango and cayenne, cucumber and mint, tonic water and angostura bitters. I never believed I would make 30 days so went 2 days at a time. If you have slip dont start the clock a again, just carry on. Get her book. You wont feel deprived, just choosing not to have a drink, 2 targets, one is ten days to clear your system, the next is 14 days when minor liver damage can repair itself. Being mildly hung over all the time makes you very tired and depressed and anxious. Here's to your first days feeling normal. Good luck

Another thing that helped me is missing that first drink. If it would normally be 7 pm I made myself wait until 8.30. Then because the habit hour had passed I found it easy to not have one at all. Once you have that first one the second will follow so dont kid yourself you can stop after one. Annie will tell you all the brain science that makes it so addictive. Its not you, its the drink. People who can take one and leave it have a lesser response to the pleasure zone.

You mentioned you have some problems aprt from alcohol, think how much better you will be able to deal with them. 10 days in I had a pearler of a problem land on me. I would have dealt with it so badly had I been drinking. I was so happy I wasnt tempted to break the 30 days

I recommend AA,I have been sober since May 2003,nothing worked for me,only AA.

I once managed 3years on my own and thought I was safe,but I ended up in a terrible state.

People have strange ideas about AA,it is NOTHING to do with religion,that is the first mistake,I never put a foot in a church,except for weddings and funerals.There are no rules in AA,everybody is welcome.I still go to meetings every week and have a wide circle of friends I have made there,all types of people from all walks of life.

A book wouldn’t have got me sober for good,they make things to complicated,I keep it simple,I don’t pick up the first drink,then I cannot get drunk.
You can call your local helpline,you have nothing to lose.If you do decide to go,get to several meetings in different locations.I will be at a smallish meeting tonight,some in my area have up to 60 people each week,I prefer the smaller meetings.

Wishing you well,oh and there are lots of Nurses and Doctors in AA,I was a Nurse.

Good evening and welcome Gracy
Well done Need and yes I get very strange dreams if I eat cheese before bed! Wonder why that is, does anyone know?

Confusedbeetle I really think the alcohol experiment is helping. I'm watching the videos and completing the journal. Once again thank you for the link. Anyone else that is trying to do this then take a look.
Are you still not drinking Confused?
Thank you heath48 and congratulations on staying sober, what a huge achievement.

Not sure if AA is for me just yet. I want to try the 30 days and see how I go. Maybe I will try to moderate, I'm not sure. Other than when I was pregnant I think I have only ever managed 3weeks in a row without a drink. I'm glad it works for you and you are still finding it helpful.

Had a huge argument with the teenager tonight. Over something completely silly. Just normal teenage attitude. Normally I would reach for the wine but I decided not too as I would have been so ashamed of only lasting 2 days! This thread is really helping me so thank you all so much and good luck to everyone who is struggling x

Hi Gracey! Morning.
Hope you are ok today Dotty.

I had to go to the shop last night and it took me all my strength but didn't buy alcohol. Even my husband was surprised.

So slowly slowly getting there. Today will be a massive challenge tho. We are moving offices and we are not happy about it so mood at work is glummy to say the least. My DS emptied a tub of black paint over the mattress that I had just stripped this morning in our bed, and I am still anxious about it. If it was just me I would go and buy another one (it is a massive stain/puddle), but DH is going to go bonkers. Anxiety over the roof already...

Good morning
Well done Need and my goodness what a pain. 1001 carpet cleaner is really good for getting stains out . Well done for not drinking last night!
Hope you are well Gracey ?

Well another evening out the way and onto day 4.
Stay strong today Need . Instead of thinking you will reward yourself with a bottle of wine for a hard day , reward yourself with the thought that you will feel so much better without it tomorrow.

Had a really good nights sleep last night. The weekend will be hard for me but I'm focusing on how much better I will feel on Monday morning than I need this Monday. Waking up without a hangover is just great.

I really am finding the Alcohol Experiment so much help, so if anyone is thinking of trying this then have a look.

As I said I have got a lot of stuff going on but it is so much easier to cope with without the alcohol ( as Confusedbettle stated.)

I read something this morning which really made sense "nothing changes if nothing changes"
I'm really hoping to turn my life around and this is the first positive change for me. X

did this Monday

Sorry should have said Confusedbeetle typing too fast

I am struggling with the 30 day challenge because i can't watched the videos and already forgot the password which I know I can reboot but it just annoys me.

The paint in the mattress is not a stain, it was proper gooey shiny black paint and it got absorbed as I was trying to clean it by the mattress that is kinda foamy on top. It is a proper big mess. I have Pilates today so I will really try to just get there and back and not stop in any shops!

Also, my goal is not going tee-total, but to really cut down, so i might not log in over the weekend so i am not a trigger, if that's ok? This is why the Free Days app is helping me a lot more than the 30 day experiment anyway.

Need
Yes I know that you are trying to cut down, well done so far. I'm also not sure if I am going to try and moderate after the 30 days but I feel I need to try the full 30 days first.

Sorry about the mattress, I got our mattress from ikea. Really happy with it and not too expensive.
Please don't worry about posting over the weekend if you need to. Try and get through this evening and you will enjoy it so much better over the weekend x

Thank you Dotty I will support you doing the 30 days because that will work for you. i have done it before, a January thing, and I just went on massive binges afterwards, but then i didn't see it as a long term commitment and now I do. I am OK about drinking 2 nights a week but absolutely no binges. I am considering cutting down to one and eventually 0 hopefully... For starters this Sunday i am going for lunch and my friend said she might have a couple, and that would be a slippery slope for me and not get home until 11pm, so... i will be driving and won't touch the stuff!
But you are right, I need to get today over with. Good luck for this evening too!

And apologies for my spelling, I am just writing too fast and not checking...

I do, when i start ive got to finish. Dring aware app is good i also find occupying yourself when yous normally open the bottle, distraction is good.

@Dotty2019Good to hear everyone is doing well, The first week is definitely the hardest. I am having a go at moderating but I do accept that in some ways its harder work than abstaining, and after all the Annie Grace coaching it actually makes little sense. What is working is that I am not mindlessly having a routine drink. I am thinking carefully about whether I really want it and am saying no thanks quite a bit which feels good. Allen Carr doesnt advocate moderation either which actually got in my way. Annie has no judgement about individual judgement but has chosen AF herself. I think the most important thing is we are all different and what works for one person is no good for another. Its great we have choices. I have pledged to repeat the 30 days if I feel bad habits creeping in, and then 60 days. If I dont crack it I will go AF. It isnt simply having 30 days off, loads of people do that and go back to drinking badly. It is about changing your mindset so you dont feel you are depriving yourself, just making better choices. I have paid a very small continuation fee to have lifelong access to the material and support it gives. Its called the experiment for good reason. A book alone wouldnt work for me but it supports the programme. The forums are very helpful. If AA works for you thats great, but it isnt the format for me

Hi everyone, I hope you are doing ok Dotty and don't forget that if you are not, draw a line and keep going. To me it is not black and white we are swimming on the grey...

Another little tip, yesterday I went to Pilates without my purse, so no temptation to stop at the shop.

I hope we hear from you.

Good morning and well done Need! Did you manage to sort the mattress out?

Another night over and feeling so much better not waking up feeling crap.
Friday night is normally a big wine night for me. I have arranged to do something tomorrow that involves a lot of driving so this will hopefully keep me on course for the weekend.
Can't believe I have managed 4days this hasn't happened for a long time.
One day at a time though, have a great weekend everyone

Great post Confusedbeetle

That's brilliant Dotty! Can you get yourself something nice to eat for tonight, or a film and popcorn or a good book... Do you do any crafts?

I am not sure if I am drinking yet but I am so buying lovely stuff to "pick on" while watching Graham Norton tonight

The mattress... I wiped it as much as I could and at least it hasn't dried hard so we have put the stain at the bottom and a cover and just crack on. When DS is older we might treat ourselves to another one because I still don't trust him!

I must say I feel amazing not having drunk for 5 days. the sluggishness is gone and I am waking up much more refreshed, and more energy in the evening. I get to do my craft AND read in bed which I love.

Good morning
Bit of a wobble yesterday. But I thought to myself I will wait an hour and see how I feel and it luckily passed. The thought of not waking up hungover really helped and I knew I had no chance of driving today and didn't want to let anyone down.

No I don't do a craft Need but I am managing to get lots done in the evenings and I have a ton of books I can start reading. I used to really enjoy reading but lost my love for it lately.
I think the biggest thing that is helping me is not waking up feeling awful. And like you Need not feeling sluggish.
I also used to really binge and once I started it was like a competition to see how quickly I could finish the bottle.
I hope that if I do decide to start drinking I will be more mindful and drink less.
Like I said though 1day at a time!

I so need this thread. My DH and I drink far too much. He doesn't really drink during the week while I have half a bottle here and there but on a Friday night we just go for it. I am supposed be driving to friends later today and managed to drink a bottle and a half of wine last night. I feel very fuzzy today and a now tempted to get the train instead. I just need to stop. I hate how I feel when I have been drinking.

Good morning everyone, hope you are all still here. Instead of focussing on the bad stuff, sleep disturbance, anxiety attacks, lethargy guilt, my god the list goes on...
Today is the positive, if you are doing well, really think about how great it is to feel normal, focus on how well you feel and how much more energy you will have to face the shit bits in life that maybe you thought were dampened by a drink. I realised that without alcohol I am much less irritable with my husband. He is still just as annoying but it doesnt bother me. I got a bit weary of the high joy posts on the forum (AE) sometimes you need to know that others arent finding it a breeze. Find your own balance and you will find the right people to support you. For some its talking, for me it was my husband not mentioning it, but without any announcement went AF with me for the 30 days. Feel satisfied when you get past a little urge to have a drink without feeling deprived

Another great post Confusedbeetle thank you.

Well I got through Saturday night! We were out and I had a long drive back. Normally I would be clock watching thinking I have to leave so I can get home and open the wine. I thought to myself I will get home and I will have a drink if I fancy one. And I just didn't fancy it! So I managed to drop my MiL home later in the evening instead of sticking her in a cab and felt so much better.

Again, I don't know if this is going to be a permanent thing but I'm determined to try the 30 days at least and then see how things are.
I have never felt this positive about it before.
I just feel that something has finally 'clicked' in my brain to help me.

This thread has been a massive support and also the alcohol experiment. If you are thinking of cutting down or stopping for a while it's worth having a look and I can't thank Confusedbeetle enough for recommending it.

Hope you are doing ok Need and you managed your goals over the weekend. Can't wait to wake up tomorrow feeling so much better than last Monday.

@ Dotty, thank you so much. I am enjoying someone else getting help in this way. Its good when you think "actually I am not much bothered " about a drink instead of "when can I allow myself to have a drink"
Am I right in thinking you have done a week?
I know loads of people will say that plenty can manage a month off and then go back to the same old, but the age old argument about will power only taking you so far versus changing how we think about drink is true.
A week was a good place for me as I started to feel some of the physical and mental benefits. I also started to feel positve and not weak.
I think I am in a vulnerable place now as its so easy to get complacent and moderating may or not work.
Anyway keep it up, start your day with one of Annies videos, it does
set you up for the day.
Have a great second week