I'm giving up drinking.

[WeAreAllAdults]

I'm writing this so I can come back and remind myself why I'm doing this when I feel weak.

I don't want to drink anymore. I don't want hang overs. I don't like how irresponsible I am drunk. I hate waking up and wondering what I did last night. I hate feeling guilt and remorse the next day. I hate that if I don't get to have a drink on a Friday night I get annoyed. I hate that I can't just have one without wanting more. I hate that my friends buy me alcohol for my birthday because they know I like a drink. I don't want to end up like my dad.

I don't want it. I don't need it.

Sending big hugs and lots of support x

I caved last night. To be fair, I didn’t even enjoy it!

Morning!

Day 9 here. I've woke up so grateful I haven't woke up on this wet and grey Monday morning with regrets about the weekend as usual.

I had a stressful evening swapping over my sodding SIM card to a new number which threw up a whole host of problems.

It took a while to sort and when I finally finished..my husband plonked a Jack Daniels & coke in front of me 🤨 (for my stress)

I had to walk away and get my head straight and to my utter shock I didn't want the drink 🤔 so I said no thank you.

Instead of the shock and horror I thought I would receive from him, he just shrugged and took it away. I had a cup of tea instead. (I'm drinking far too much tea, my next battle is weaning myself off that).

So that's that. I went to bed with no upset/grumpiness that I couldn't have the drink (or regret that I did have the drink when I didn't want it.)

My mind is a bit more peaceful.

@seaweedandmarchingbands that's a brilliant sign that you didn't enjoy it.

I always think I'm such a wine buff but actually the first sip always makes me wince whether it's a cheap bottle or a £50 bottle, so clearly I don't really like the taste so how I managed to put away 3 plus bottles a night is beyond me.

Just want to applaud and encourage you all. I was drinking 7 nights a week for years. I now have not had a drink since May 2016.
I never, never thought I could do this.
I'm NOT bragging. Please don't think that.
I just wanted to say it can be done. I had a problematic relationship with alcohol since my very early teens. I was "high functioning" but still made some appalling decisions.
Please keep trying. It is so worth it. Life without alcohol induced guilt and anxiety is a revelation.
All the very best.

@seaweedandmarchingbands Definitepy good sign you didn't enjoy it. Hopefully that can be your way of takking yourself out of it in future. That was my tactic last night - 1st night, but clinging onto that thought.
"It's not even nice, I don't need it"

@comfortablynumb1 well done! And yes. A peaceful mind. I will add that to my list of reasons I'm giving up - others are general health, weight, financial impact.

@Mummaofmytribe thank you for that. I can relate to the high functioning aspect. But then I feel I've been kidding myself / making excuses for years. Great to read your success story!

Good morning all, well done @comfortablynumb1 and @HoneyandSpice I agree waking up on a wet Monday morning fleeing good really is an eye opener! Going to plan so more stuff off my list today instead of feeling meh from another night on the wine..

I have also noticed my belly has reduced somewhat 😊 looking forward to the AF week ahead.

Hi all, back now and in a good frame of mind! Enjoying some milk tonight.

How's everyone else?

I’m back! I was feeling quite low about it yesterday (no temptation to drink at all) but today I feel much better. A few years ago I felt good about myself if I only drank three or four times a week instead of five or six. But for the last few months, as much as it’s been hard and I haven’t been entirely successful by any stretch, there have been numerous stretches of a week or so where I haven’t wanted to drink and haven’t done so. That’s a success in itself. I won’t drink tonight and know I will have no wish to. That’s another success. I may not be smashing this, but I am chipping away at it.

Afternoon all,
I'm glad to see that everyone is hanging on. Love all the messages from 'passers-by'! So encouraging!
I'm doing fine. We had visitors at the weekend who all drank really quite a lot but but it was surprisingly OK. I was rather hoping Mother Nature might have rewarded me with a few lost pounds when I stepped on the scales yesterday morning ... but no. Still, I'm sleeping better and feel less irritated the entire time so that's all good.

I'm still going too!

Finally forced myself to the doctors this morning and I have a ear infection and I'm on antibiotics. I'm feeling very sorry for myself.

I also thought I may have lost a pound or two but no, sadly. Though I do feel less bloated and my stomach is definitely flatter.

I'm also taking a while to nod off at night but when I'm asleep it's usually for the whole night and that's such a positive.
No more 4am hating myself sessions.

So all good so far.

I was arranging my birthday night out with a group of friends then told them I'm 'probably' not going to drink and one of them said why? Heavy session last night? Ha.

I may feel up to going on evenings out (but I also may not) and I think I'd just rather go somewhere and eat lots of amazing food instead of watching my friends get pissed. So I'm undecided on that at the moment.

Keep on hanging on everyone.

One day at a time.

Yes, one day at a time.

I'm still going to.. surprisingly! My H is continuing to drink his red wine despite me asking him to cut back and at least have a few AF days. It's sort of winding me up a bit but I won't crack and join him. If anything it's making me more determined.. I've ordered the book mentioned which should arrive tomorrow, hopefully a couple of pages each night will help me get to sleep. Like most have said once asleep I have a restful sleep but getting off to sleep is proving difficult. I assume this is because I've passed out in a wine stupor in the past 😬

Buy valerian teabags. Not the best tasting but they definitely help with sleep!

Hi All. I hope it’s ok for me to jump onto this thread. I was on a ‘cutting down’ one but I was struggling. I’ve been doing a lot of reading up and think I need to take a break from alcohol completely, which I know is going to be torture as I am truly weak-willed. I’ve been to the library and stocked up on books and bought in soft drinks. Going to take each day one by one. I’m not one for falling over drunk, black-outs or raising hell with a drink, a perverse part of me wishes I was as if I truly hit a rock-bottom it might seem an easier challenge to quit. Instead I sit in the house of an evening, have a gin before dinner, then a bottle of beer cooking dinner, then a glass or two of wine with dinner. This has built up over years and if I can’t tackle this this time it’s looking really bleak. I don’t want to be setting my kids a terrible example but that is exactly what I have been doing. Well done all you at 1 week AF and beyond. I don’t think I’ve made it past day3 in over a decade. I couldn’t even not drink last night: a Monday evening in October. 😞

Hello, iamyourequal! My feeling about the moderation threads is that they don’t help me. I know I need to stop. I may not be winning (completely) but I need to talk about it in the context of abstinence, not cutting down. This evening I have books and tea.

I have treated myself to a sweary colouring book.

I'm keeping my hands busy at night as I would usually be holding or reaching for the wine glass and just sitting here not doing anything with my hands makes me realise I'm not drinking.

So I'm letting my inner 5 year old out by colouring in a nice load of swear words.

Oooh I came on looking for a thread just like this! Can I join in...?
I have debated this for a year and made the decision today!rather than saying 'I'm thinking of quitting drinking soon....!' I am saying 'today I've quit drinking!'

I don't have a problem with drinking and can go all week / weeks without a drop. But when I drink I feel awful! So tired, anxious and very tearful for days! I've put nearly a stone on and I want to lose weight, save money and put an end to these cloudy dark hangovers.

Any suggestions to feel excited about this...? I have always put this off because there is always a big social event coming up, these will be the hard days for me, sitting I won't bother me. X

Of course you can @jelly79 get stuck in. I've put on a stone too and have tried loads of diets all apart from giving up the wine. So fingers crossed now I'm not consuming all those extra wine calories will help the pounds come off.

jelly if it helps you, I’ve been AF for 9 months and I was reacting to alcohol in a similar way to you, and my anxiety is way easier to control now and I have a lot more equilibrium. I feel calmer, my energy levels are more consistent, and I look better. And I’ve felt like that for a while, though I do think the 100 day mark is when you really start to realise a significant change has occurred. Congrats on your decision!

So fantastic that there are so many people motivated to do this and to support one another. I didn’t find the moderation threads helpful, because they can sometimes sound like your own internal monologue - lots of counting drinks and AF days, and drinking if there’s a “good reason”. I realised that by stopping I silenced the boring internal monologue and that for me, there is never a good reason to have a drink - just many, many good reasons not to!

No wine here tonight. Can usually manage 4 days before I decide that I deserve a drink
Not this week though.

Welcome Jelly and thanks for words of advice seaweed. On my fortnight trying hard to ‘cut down’ the best I did was 19 units a week. That’s part of the reason I’m truly admitting I have issues with drink!
AF last night and feel bit better today, though I had nightmares. I just need to get into the habit.

@iamyourequal I have also been having bizarre dreams!! This morning I woke up in a panic .. my sons birthday party is Halloween and the whole dream was all about having nothing organised 😱 another AF night last night and feeling ready to tackle the party planning head on today

Hi, wondering if its ok to join you all? Long time lurker first time posting and ready to admit I think I have a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
I can go days without drinking yet am usually thinking about it at some point in the day/evening and 'looking forward' to when I feel I can allow myself a glass (bottle) of wine. Over the past five days I've downed a bottle a night and have woken this morning feeling truly grim. This kind of pattern has been the norm for well over 20 years I'd say.
After having read so many lovely supportive threads and posts I'm finally taking the plunge with trying to go AF.