Wankerbastards and autumn weather, crunchy leaves, browning heather. We want crisp, cool days and crisp, cool wine, or beer or gin. But only a couple, as we smash moderatin'.

[Frouby]

Thread 8 for Tryers to be Dryers.

Join in for help and support and lots of laughs to reduce alcohol. Whatever you want to achieve with your alcohol intake, whether it's alcoholidays, dry days, less booze in general we are all in the same boat.

More threads floating around but I can't do clicky links. Just look for Wankerbastards and you will find us.

Hedgehog, another one saying don't beat yourself up. And, yes, single parenting is hard.

I really don't know why we sabotage ourselves, but it's difficult to break out of it.

I really don’t want to drink tonight. Health anxiety high. Pissed off this morning. Everyone throwing their crap my way. Dh being a complete dick again, my mum being really difficult and cold AGAIN!! Want to take control of my life and be the best of me!! But these bastards are making it hard!!

Hope dh survived the night Flossie. Hedgehog well done for surviving a tough day. Today is a new one.

Nephew is here! He's very cute. First boy in our family. Making a quick dash to meet him after work

Sorry flossie, crossed posys. Sorry about all the wankerbastards getting you down. Hugs.

Ugh, water cut off at home and now station overcrowded. Office potentially also cut off due to extinction rebellion prorests. Mildlt hungover and didnt sleep well due to new bany excitement. May just go home to bed x x

Congratulations on your nephew, Longest!!

Hedgehog draw a line and move on from the wine. It’s gone. I had a bottle of wine on Sunday for no other reason than to test my new fridge. Now that’s unnecessary drinking.

Slept terribly last night. Partially down to being day one after consuming 4 bottles over 3 nights (the worst for a long time) and partly because my friend has asked if we can meet up and try and build some bridges. There’s so much I want to say to her but she’s quite fragile and won’t be able to take it. It doesn’t mean I have to put up with her crap, but it’s difficult to move forwards because if I say what I feel she’ll go into victim mode and go back on the attack. So that’s going round my head.

Frouby I was wondering about the core class. Sounds terrifying 😂 I’ve booked on body combat for tonight. I’m on a mission to do a new class each week at the moment. I used to love boxersise so I’m hoping it’s similar. I’ve got a huge scab on my knuckle though, from boxing with my PT on Thursday. I look like a right thug.

Longest exciting times for your sister. I love being an aunty. Hope it all goes smoothly. Xx

Longest congratulations on your new baby nephew, first boy in the family too

Hedgehog forget last night, and try and find ways that will stop you drinking in the evening. can you find something to motivate you to get up early in the morning? I forget how old your DC are, but if they are old enough to get them selves up and have breakfast on their own could you go out for a walk or run in the morning? Or set your alarm and do exercises (I used to do that when my DC were young). It isn't easy being a single parent. But there are ways to have some 'me' time if you plan.

Flossie Hugs, you have a lot on your plate.

Frouby can you find a core class during the day when there are less likely to be triathletes? I imagine peak time for them is early morning, lunchtime or evening. What about swimming, that is great core exercise?

NC4 Trying a new class each week is an excellent idea.

Water I hope you are recovered after your non athletic sex session

Dion glad DD is better and well done on Day 1

I failed last night, but only had 2 glasses to be sociable with DP because he is away until Thursday or Friday, so I should be AF for the rest of the week. He has gone to pick up his mad cousin and her daughter who has hasn't seen for 45 years as her sister wants her to rent our new little house. She lives 900kms away so DP left this morning with a van to pick them and their belongings plus 4 cats up. At least it will be easier to look after her here, she has severe paranoia, thinks everyone wants to kill her and therefore lives as a recluse, but refuses to be treated professionally so not much can be done.

Oh my goodness Madame.....so will you be both be looking after her moving forward??

Longest. Congrats

madame have been looking at what classes are available at local council gym, there is a body balance class friday mornings I could do, that's a combination of yoga, pilates and tai chi which I might try. It sounds a bit gentler to begin with. Cousin says she might come to that with me.

She laughed when I said I had watched the core class last night, she knew the sort of people going but didn't want to warm me in case it put me off. Local gym also has a membership deal of £80 for 3 months, if it includes swimming and classes I might try it. Could fit a swim in each week I reckon and a class or 2.

I’ve done body balance before Frouby. It’s a good one to start with. The class I did was challenging, and I knew I’d done it the next day, but not ‘OMG I think I’m going to die’ level.

I’m trying to psych myself up for combat. I didn’t sleep well last night and have just woken up from a nap after lovely neighbour’s funeral this afternoon. I know I should, but zzzz. Aww, bless him, he had a lovely send off.

Longest I took so long writing my morning post I missed your news. Congratulations! When will you get to meet him for squishy newborn cuddles?
Can you share his name or would it out her? How lovely to have a new baby boy in the family!

Madame that sounds a really tough situation all round. Are you ok with it?

How are you feeling now Hedgehog? Hope you are feeling a bit better.

Right. My mantra for my new challenge is that I will have succeeded if I just get through the door. Double points for making it to the end. I need to remind myself of last night’s shit sleep and remember how much better tonight will be if I physically tire myself out.

longest I missed it as well, congratulations. Nothing nicer than a squishy newborn to cuddle.

NC I love classes, but haven't done one for years and I think it will be a shock to the system. I have just remembered while trying to think when I last did a class it was a davina McCall work out dvd, am not sure where they have disappeared to though, I suppose I could do one of those if I can't get to the gym.

It's just fitting everything in. Mornings I tend to be at ponies, afternoons I work and do housework, food shopping, any running around that needs doing, tske dog out etc. Then ds is home, and it's chaos oclock, then dh comes home around 6pm and then I do our dinner. Not much time in the week to actually get to the gym.

I might dig those dvds out, could do them about 4om while ds is eating then jump in shower. It just feels a bit decadent to take a couple of hours out when I am already pinching a couple of hours in a morning.

If I could fecking run I could do that while I walked the dog lol. Weather permitting I can kayak for an hour Saturday mornings while ds is in the kids lesson. And I am riding BabyPony from the end of this week touch wood. And I do 10-12k steps a day so it's not as if I am sedentary.

NC4 don't feel guilty about taking a nap. When you sleep badly it is the best thing to do (if you can). I hope the funeral wasn't too difficult for you, and that you enjoy your combat session tonight!

Frouby yes, running is definitely the easiest exercise to fit in anytime any place. I can (and do in the winter) dog run in the dark all the time to avoid sport taking up work time, but I wouldn't cycle, too dangerous. A good head lamp id all that is required to avoid tripping over branches and chestnuts at this time of year. And my local swimming pool has very restrictive hours in term time. I hope the hours of your council gym work out.

Flossie NC4 I can't say I'm not worried about DP's cousin living next door. But I have confidence in him, I'm sure if it all goes t*ts up he will sort out another solution. Maybe having people she can trust in close proximity will help her. From what I can gather all 3 daughters suffered severe emotional abuse from their father, who regularly hit their mother before she left him. Since then she has had no contact at all with him and hates him, although the other 2 sisters are in contact now their mother is dead. I've never had any experience of such family issues before, it is quite eye opening. DP has 4 brothers, one of whom is a criminal who they no longer see, his sister died of cancer aged 40 which severely affected him, and his father was a brutal tyrant like his uncle, to the children as well as his wife. My teenage battles with my father are nothing in comparison!

Short version is: epic fail.

So many things went tits up today. I hate everyone (except you lovely lot, obvs). Builder didn't turn up, despite promises, so we still have no doors. No point putting the heating on. Colleagues were complete twats across the board. DD being a cowbag. Email from DD's school to say she is set to fail at least one GCSE, which makes me wonder why I am spending all that money. She is a very clever girl, who tries hard in the subjects she likes and is good at. So did I, but the difference is that my parents didn't really notice the expense, whereas I notice it every sodding day that I don't have a kitchen. No wonder I don't cook. Got home from work to find three bills which need paying NOW.

DP was very sweet to me earlier (bought me salmon, which he knows I love almost as much as I love him), and I was horrid to him too, though I did apologise and explain.

Madame, that sounds stressful and intriguing in equal measure!

FML a million times over.

Dion so sorry about the builders, teachers and everything else that has pissed you off. At least DP was kind! If you want salmon come over here, I bought some this week from the fjords of Norway apparently (special offer) but as he has gone off to pick up his mad cousin I have to eat that myself all week (DS doesn't do fish...yet)
I'm not AF either, making the mist of my freedom to catch up on Graham Norton while French DP is always I've always fancied Louis Theroux.

That does sound challenging Madame. I hope it works out and that it helps her to have family nearby. I think clear boundaries may be needed, but you are very kind to be doing this.

Combat was.... hard!! At one point I thought I might puke. I was better at it than I was at step last week though. It’s only because I’ve let myself get so overweight that it was so difficult. In theory the more I do it the less it will kill me.

I used to do Davina DVDs too Frouby! I had her 30 minute workouts and did them when the boys were in bed. My favourite was cardio box. I still do the routines in my head when I hear the soundtrack 😂

I’m glad I went. I was home, showered and wrapped in the cloak of sobriety with a lovely juicy steak for my tea, in time for Bake Off. I think thats one that can fit comfortably into my schedule.

Hedgehog, sorry about dd. A bottle isn't so terrible

Frouby lol at shagging dh to stop his snoring and well done on day 3

Flossie sorry the bastards are being bastards 💐

Longest congratulations on your nephew!

NC4 good luck with friend. I was reading yesterday about how great casual friendships can be and it resonated with me. Will post a link if I can find it online

madame that sounds difficult but 2 glasses is very moderate

Ahh Dion I missed your shitty day. Money worries are horrid. I’m very lucky that I live in an area with outstanding state schools that we can get into easily. I couldn’t afford private and I think I’d feel like you do.
Glad DP was nice though. That must help.

Dionysa sorry to hear about builders (I read that as butlers first and thought omg, she has BUTLERS?!) and dd and school fees and wankerbastard colleagues. Ds was so lazy at GCSES they made him do a foundation paper in one subject and he was furious that I agreed to it as it meant the maximum he could get was a C grade and he reckoned he’d have got higher had he taken a normal GCSE but as they said he was ‘a space cadet’ in lessons I had to go with their advice and say ok to foundation paper instead of ‘proper’ GCSE. He still goes on about it now FGS EYE ROLL. Hey, at least it’s only one...💐

Today is day 2 AF and I grudgingly admit I feel better for it.

And my app shows 4 AF days so far in October so that’s 50%
Doesn’t make up for the oceans of wine I drink on non AF days though, I’ve got to work on that.

Evening all. Thanks for the lovely messages re dnephew. Have just been for cuddles and to make fuss of dniece. On way home now but won't get in till quite late. Slightly concerned about dm being weirdly cagey about when she's planning to visit. She's normally all over grandchildren. Suspect something health related or fingerprints of controlling dp. Hmm. Had small glass of fizz to wet baby's head but that is all.

Did not get job despite quite good feedback. Think i am relieved really, though pride a bit hurt.

Sorry about rubbish day Dion. Was about to say "especially...." But especially all of it really

Well done to everyone on the fitness fronts - am impressed!

NC4 did you decide what tp do about meeting your friend? for funeral.

Madame that sounds quite challenging. I hope it works out ok. You are a generous soul.

Think i am coming down with a cold so really hope I haven't passed it on to dnephew. Felt fine till i arrived. X

Oh Dion. What an utterly shocking day!! Utter wankerbastards!! How was dp re the colleagues. I’m so glad he was sweet this evening. Makes such a difference. How is dd feeling about the predictions? As for the builders....ffs indeed!!
Sending you mahoosive hugs.

Hi to everyone else. Fleeting as watching the apprentice which I love!!!!! With wine. Ffs. Poured myself soda with cut lime. Started cooking feeling fairly smug. Turned round and dh had unwittingly poured me an ice cold glass of Sauvignon!! Ffs

I know this shouldn't be on this thread but l'or AIBU, but I respect your opinions more than anyone else's!
My brother, who has always been the star of the family, (except for the fact he fucked up his own life emotionally by marrying someone he didn't love, had 4 kids and then regretted it and left) is posting stuff on FB about how he takes my (82 yr old)mother away for holidays and how fabulous she is. He also went to her 80th birthday. As her birthday is 5th September, I am a single mum (or at least was then) and a teacher it was impossible for me to attend.

I regularly have my 85 yr old dad visit (mum doesn't bother any more) but would never think of posting anything about him on FB. Confused. As I rarely post anything on FB myself.

Madame - you really aren’t bu.
He sounds wrapped up in himself and getting the ‘glory’. Have you spoken to him about it? Or spoken to your dm? That’s really destructive behaviour he’s displaying. Not fair at all. Sending you big hugs

I think yanbu either but i probably wouldn't take it overly seriously. Most of what people post is wanky image crafting bollocks. It's pretty transparent and if it registers at all it will probably just generate an eye roll. Thinking charitably, might he be attempting to give your dm a boost or is she unlikely to read it?