Wankerbastards and autumn weather, crunchy leaves, browning heather. We want crisp, cool days and crisp, cool wine, or beer or gin. But only a couple, as we smash moderatin'.

[Frouby]

Thread 8 for Tryers to be Dryers.

Join in for help and support and lots of laughs to reduce alcohol. Whatever you want to achieve with your alcohol intake, whether it's alcoholidays, dry days, less booze in general we are all in the same boat.

More threads floating around but I can't do clicky links. Just look for Wankerbastards and you will find us.

Welcome aboard Tiny!

My top tip is to keep busy during the witching hour. My new routine (when I can be arsed) is gym around 6.30pm for an hour, home, shower, cloak of sobriety.

It's been a fairly quiet month socially, but that's where I struggle most. Although I was struggling with home drinking before I did this November thing.

Reading sober lit does the trick too, and I look forward to different things, like getting snuggled up and watching TV.

Hi Tiny, welcome to the thread. 🙂

Longest, I can tell you what helped me:

No wine in the fridge. There was cold Prosecco but I can resist that

That 1 hour hypnotherapy session I linked to earlier, no idea whether it helped but I think it might have done

I didn’t have much going on socially except one lunch and a) I drove there and b) it’s a friend who doesn’t drink and so it just doesn’t occur to me to drink when I see her, plus we always meet for lunch, often at hers, so it’s never appropriate to drink

Skim reading quit lit although some of it is annoying

I loved ticking off the tea cups on the Dry January app and did it first thing every morning...mind you, I respond well to those smiley green faces telling you to slow down too, I’m so easily pleased 😁

I drank litres and litres of water and lemon with ice

I generally didn’t cook stuff that would make me want wine with it so lots of soup, salads etc. although having said that last night I cooked rare tuna steak with soy and honey; horseradish mash, and broccoli with garlic, rosemary, chilli and anchovies and I’d normally have wine with nice fish but somehow I just have got out of the habit and it was fine last night plus it was day 25 so no way was I going to break my streak

I’ve used the Calm app a lot, I’ve done hours of mindfulness and anti anxiety sessions

I was highly motivated because of The Fear and because of general caning it over many shitty parts of 2019 and by posting on this thread too

Having said all that, I’ve had considerable stress in November with ds talking about suicide / possibly dropping out of uni and dd having mocks plus bitchy girl friendship issues and every time I’ve told myself alcohol wouldn’t help, which it wouldn’t. Obviously! So I think I’m resetting my response to stress.

I’m really looking forward to a cocktail and wine tonight as dh and I haven’t been out together in ages. 🍸🍸

Afternoon all, hope everyone is well, will catch up tonight. I'm just about getting the hang of the crutches.
Still AF ... Just, dh has gone back to work and as wierd as it sounds the house is much calmer and more relaxing. Not craving the alcohol when he isn't here.
Got to leave early for the school run as it takes me a bit longer now.

Well done badgerblu

Well done! Thanks for the tips. It's strange what works isnt it? Sunday night i rarely feel the need to drink as long as i have my usual routine of piano, food, telly. If dh is out i have a bath and get into bed with telly or book and look forward to it. Being active sounds good in theory but i am honestly too knackered a lot of the time bu the time the kids are down. I do love a lido swim but in the winter it closes at 4. Even in the summer it is 8 which is tricky to fit round the dc bedtime. The moonlight swim was 8-9 which would be perfect if they made it a regular thing. Running in the dark is not for me though i might manage it in summer. Nor classes and so on i don't think.

Anything much happening this weekend? The kids have various social engagements so a quiet one for me. Will attempt park run and Sunday we are getting our tree.

It's one thing after another, so flying by - but welcome Tiny. Not AF last night, will not be AF tonight because it's a friend's birthday. Can't in fact remember the last AF night. There's always an excuse. Am at home for literally 20 mins then going out again, so will catch up tomorrow.

Welcome to the thread Tiny

Waves to Dion - have a lovely evening and don't worry you are drinking for the right reasons tonight, enjoy yourself!

Longest Is there any activity you could do in the house to keep you busy during the witching hour? A home trainer for example? Or would getting a dog be an option? Not a border collie type dog because they need hours of exercise a day, but a smaller dog you could get out and walk in the evening? Or could you do a dog share (I think that is quite popular now?) as probably you are busy enough without having a dog to look after full time.

I think to be honest my issue isn't keeping busy. I have piano practice, housework, work work that i could be doing, but i find after a full day of answering to other people's demands i just want something that signals, right, I've clocked off now. I can only think of pjs and bath but that always feels somewhat antisocial. Perhaps i should do it anyway.

Dion, enjoy your evening.

Hi everyone. Feel like a let down that I haven’t been around for ages. Life’s been predictably tough. But then isn’t everyone’s. I guess I just need to pull my big girl socks up and get on with it!!
So am constantly not af but never finish the bottle. That’s my challenge and control.
I promise to read back and get back to you all. I have missed you all loads. Just feel so bad cos I’m crap at being dry!!

We miss you too Flossie! I am sorry to hear you are still going through tough times. Want to talk about it?

Welcome tiny,
Flossie, sorry to hear you are having a hard time as well.
Water, I love ticking off the tea cups on the dry January app as well.
Nc4 well done, keeping busy works for me to, I do dog walks - bit difficult now with the crutches, and by knitting.
I'm finding it easier not to crave having a drink when dh isn't here, but I am defently smoking more. Got the election debate on, browsing mumsnet while knitting myself a shawl.
Still not feeling good mentally but faking it quite well in front of the kids and other people.

In that case then Longest, I heartily recommend the cloak of sobriety. Bollocks to being antisocial. It's your evening - you've done your bit all day!
I've been a chubber this week, eaten badly and skived the gym.
Now I feel crap for it. These things are useful to know!
Glad it all feels a bit calmer at home Badger. It's a shame DH doesn't bring calm with him but it must be hard switching between doing it by yourself and doing it as a couple.
Dion enjoy your evening. I considered wine tonight and decided I didn't want it.
Water looking forward to your report back tomorrow 🍹🍸

Morning all

Not read back properly, mainly because I have missed loads. Been mega busy trying to organise Christmas presents for everyone and trying to sort the house. Not got as far as I would like, and have been slightly pissed for days 😂😂😂.

Did finally get BabyPony clipped yesterday though so that's an achievement. She was so good, sometimes they don't like the clippers on them especially in the tickly bits but she didn't bat an eye.

Busy day today. Dd got dragonboat training all weekend, then a team meal so am taxi all day. Some relatives coming through from 3 hours away so have to go see them, ds got a playdate this afternoon at his friends house so it's all go. Sigh. Will be dry tonight at least due to taxi for dd.

DH and I had a great night 🙂 We had a cocktail each then shared a bottle of wine then had another cocktail then came home and drank more wine. We drank less than a bottle each over 5 hours and were asleep by 11pm but eww my tolerance has definitely reduced, I don’t like how I feel today. Going out for dinner tonight so will drink wine but absolutely no cocktails and will remember to drink water before bed. I was awake at 2.30am gasping and went downstairs and poured myself a huge jug of water, which I drank before I woke up at 6.30am. Urgh!

Flossie, sorry you’re having a hard time 💐

Frouby, sweet pony!

Pony looks very smart! Day of two halves today. Did park run and dh took the kids out shopping (they wanted to get bits to make me an advent calendar, aw) so i has a rare quiet hour reading my book. But dd2 has been such hard work this afternoon. Not really like her so winder if she's still getting over her bug but she's been shrieky, defiant and kind of hyper for days now and it's getting a bit wearing. Also spent ages trying to mouse proof the kitchen with dh which was dull.

Dd1 is out with girl next door. Tbh starting to wonder where they've got to. X

An hour with your book sounds bliss Longest. I can't remember the last time I did that.
Your girls are kind, even if Dd has been difficult.
We're just back from Manchester. DS2 refused to come at first and I had to lay the law down. We never have days out anymore.
Christmas markets were ridiculously crowded, and I get how it would be overload. It was a bit much for me really, without ASD, so he did quite well really.
He kept saying he wanted to go home though so we got a hotdog and headed to Afflecks palace to stock up on nose studs (me) joss sticks (DS1) and posters (Ds2).
Then we went to Great Northern for cider and Christmas cocktails.
It was nice once we were out of the crazy.
Just having a glass of wine and thinking about doing some nachos.

Aw Afflecks palace, that takes me back. I had ginormous billboard posters of trainspotting and pulp. Needed a whole pack of blu tak to keep them on the wall.

The dds are kind and loving to me, it's true, but it is not their default state towards each other or anyone else. I had to set yp a "kindness point" reward system for them to earn their advent calendars. They've only just managed ot and dd2 said "i can't wait until i don't have to worry about losing kindness points any more" gah. On the positive side dd1 has been very sweet. She told dh she thought maybe she'd swallowed some liquid luck when she turned 8 as things have been great, and there were fab reports from next door, who eventually returned her safe and sound. Hope it's not dd2's turn to take on the difficult child mantel.

Not AF but have switched to tea now, somewhat against my will, so stuck to 1/2 bottle limit.

Bless your dd longest, I know how she feels, it's difficult sometimes to constantly be kind and thoughtful. Sometimes I just want to be selfish and a bitch and I am 42 😁.

Was so busy yesterday, went to my mums to see relatives, it's my ex step sister from dms first marriage. She's 11 years older than me and spent a lot of time with us when we were younger. I went NC with stepdad when dm left him (he's a cunt) but she is still close to my mum, and my siblings who are also her siblings. So that was nice.

Then dropped ds off at his mates, and because it was a nice winters day agreed to a walk round the lake with them when I picked ds up. Lovely 2 hour stroll, 3 kids and the dog all covered in mud but tired and happy. Then was running dd around for the rest of the day.

I have so much to do today. I want to clean the carpets, but am tempted to leave it until tomorrow when the rest of them are out. But then tomorrow I wanted to do some Christmas shopping, have the dog booked at the vets, need to get some work done, blah blah fucking blah. I really really need an extra few hours a day for the next 2 weeks.

Morning all,
Hope your all okay,
Water, I'm glad you had a good time Friday night, i love cocktails.
Nc4, glad you had a good time at the Christmas market, I dread to think about taking my lot to one!.
Frouby, I agree could do with a few more hours a day.

I'm still af, had a good day yesterday kids played nicely and there wasn't much arguing between them.
Dd1 set up our elf late last night as I feel asleep, which is lovely of her. We had to break the news of the big man to ds1 and dd2 (nearly 12) so they are excited to know be "elves" one thing I'm happy about is no matter how much the younger ones wind up the older ones they wouldn't tell them.
Dd1 took badger for a 2 hour run yesterday as she could tell I was having a bad day pain wise with my knee.
Haven't even started Christmas shopping and doubt we will until mid December.
Always panic every year but we manage it.
Hope everyone has a good day.

Hi everyone. I drank about a bottle of wine (definitely wasn’t any more and might have been a bit less) last night from 6.30 - 11.30 and also drank loads of water but didn’t sleep until 1am and slept badly. Then we went out for lunch today and I had a martini and two glasses of wine, which resulted in a headache all afternoon. So I’m looking forward to an AF week tbh! In bed already and expect to be asleep by 9 at the latest.

Tree is up! Did an ikea run for it as is tradition so gravadlax for tea. Kids delighted with it. Best weekend ever apparently. Kids' party this morning at Swedish friends' house which involved snall thimble of gliweun (sp?) But otherwise AF coz Sunday, but would have been nice to have a glass of fizz or mulled wine while doing tree. Oh well. MIL back tomorrow after her six week trip down under so will no doubt toast her return, plus possibly DM too if she ever makes it back from France, so need to get some AF nights in. Missed swimming today though as ferrying kids to parties and ikea, which is a shame as was the perfect day for it. Settling down with His Dark Materials now

Sorry to hear about your knee, badger, and the head, water, though glad you had fun with dh.

Longest - that’s so sweet your dd said she couldn’t wait to not worry about loosing kindness points. Bless her. I used to tell my girls ‘manners make friends’ and they used to get so pissed off with me..one day dd1 replies ‘maybe I don’t want any friends’ That shut me up!!
Tree looks gorgeous!!

Water - I can’t drink in the day. Always end up with banging headache!! Mind you, I’m doing pretty awesome at drinking in the evenings!! 🙄

Badger - it’s quite sweet when older children ‘know’ and younger ones don’t, isn’t it. Dd1 helps me with elf etc. Tbh elf pisses me off..I can’t be bothered just before bed, to come up work something artistic and creative!! Especially after wine!!

Drunk too much!! Still not over a bottle but tbh I think my liver needs a break. It’s just not touching the sides to be honest. Going down like water..pah!!

Tree up here, elf doing his usual crap. Off to London this week for hospital app. 6hrs journey there. Have to stay overnight then 6hrs home. With both my girlies. Not fun but be glad when we home again x

Yes i have never begun the elf lark because i know that what feels like a good idea on 1 jan will haunt me forever more as you can't just lack it in and not be arsed any more. I have enough trouble remembering the tooth fairy. Some properly adventurous elves on my Facebook feed though - incredible efforts people go to.