Wankerbastards and autumn weather, crunchy leaves, browning heather. We want crisp, cool days and crisp, cool wine, or beer or gin. But only a couple, as we smash moderatin'.

[Frouby]

Thread 8 for Tryers to be Dryers.

Join in for help and support and lots of laughs to reduce alcohol. Whatever you want to achieve with your alcohol intake, whether it's alcoholidays, dry days, less booze in general we are all in the same boat.

More threads floating around but I can't do clicky links. Just look for Wankerbastards and you will find us.

Easy access, Flossie 😂😂😂 I love it. I am now reminded of my black PVC trousers. They were quite warm to wear.

What is Swampy the Elf up to tonight?

I laughed about your Merry Moot, Longest. Very sorry about your DM, though. Just shows that even age and experience can't help when you've got a controlling partner. I imagine the bi-polar doesn't help, either.

Have not been AF this evening. I eventually switched the wifi off and said it would go back on when DD had picked the sodding stuff up. She said she needed wifi for her mountain of prep, and it would be my fault if she failed her GCSEs. This is the first mention of prep since last year.

I like your dd's style Dion! She makes it all sound so reasonable!

Love teen logic. I reminded dd she had the bathroom to clean, preferably tonight (last night) after I had checked she didn't have homework or revision. She admitted she didn't have homework but then she said she always has revision, always as she is in her GCSE year. Apparently pointing out she had spent all weekend dragonboat training and then on their Christmas do is unreasonable as that is work, not leisure, as she is hoping to get some imaginary bursary for uni when dragonboating becomes an Olympic sport.

Loving the teen stories. However I won’t be loving them soon, as I will be loving them too!! Ds coming home in less than 2 weeks time. Dreading it. That sounds awful I know. But even at a distance, he’s controlling and damning to me.

As for fucking Elfie....he fell asleep and forgot to do something naughty. So dd found him at the top of the Christmas tree where he’d been the previous day!!!!!! So I had to say I’d disturbed him as I’d heard an awful noise. I then had to sneak in and put decorations on the floor by the tree and announce he’d probably knocked them off as he tried to climb back down!!
Fml. No parent needs to be thinking up this crap while organising all the other extravagant shite that goes on in December!!!!!

Living them!! Not loving. Certainly NOT!!

Definitely living, rather than loving, Flossie.

DD has been crying all evening, but I have yet to work out why. It seems to be to do with the fact that she isn't DS.

Speaking of DS, mine is also coming home in a fortnight. He's quite pleasant at a distance, but less so close up.

Frouby, at least your DD fancies dragonboating as an Olympic sport. Mine would win a medal in "watching crap on YouTube".

BTW, if I had a sodding Elf, he would have long since drowned in a vat of wine.

I do sympathise with that elf though Dion. Rather feel like doing that myself. Have been given a hard time for not being home by 5:50. About to have a Talk about how these additional expectations have sort of crept up on me without my agreement. Fml.

O God, Longest. Good luck with that one. At least you can have a Talk with your husband. If I tried to Talk to DP, he'd run a million miles. The same was true of XH, but I can at least now tell him when he's being a tosser, as there is no emotional investment there...

Oh longest that’s a toughie. Does he need you home then as he needs to be somewhere?? Or is that just an expectation??
I agree with dion..my dh doesn’t do talking or listening. I hope it goes well

He wants to go somewhere rather than needs to. And could take the dc with him even if he'd prefer not to. In fact he did take dd1 even after i got back. I wouldn't mind in isolation but i also seem to have assumed responsibility for getting the kids ready even on "his" day to do the school run. Which again i don't totally resent as i know there is a reason he struggles to get up, but it makes it very hard to get my hours in at work. Talk didn't go brilliantly tbh but we are friends now. He always says i don't handle things well and turn them into a roe by having a go. Whereas i feel like objecting to the "way i handled it" is a deflection tactic, conscious or otherwise. It is a row as old as time. But we tend to reach an understanding in the end. Bloody waste of an evening though. Bit fed up.

Good luck with that longest, stick to your guns!

I used to have a short black pvc dress, bought in a Soho sex shop years ago. I’d look like an actual tyre if I wore one now. I was young! And thin! Oh well.

Dionysa, my ds is less nice close up too, I’ve had more drama from him about leaving uni and killing himself. He says afterwards that he really doesn’t mean it but that doesn’t really help as he’s still saying it.

So I’m not doing well on AF. Drank on Monday as we went out, on Tuesday because I cooked a Camembert in a box with red currant jelly. It was less than a bottle though, so moderate. And last night I went to a cookery school event and so cooked a three course dinner with lots of others. Had a teeny glass of wine with it as I was driving but got back hyped as it was freezing fog on the way back and was stressed about ds so had 3 glasses of wine and watched crap tv to wind down. It was half a bottle total though so I’m ok with it. But I’m really struggling with ds and not at all sure what to do. I feel incredibly sad about it and a bit helpless and anxious and worried.

Lol at dd and joggers Dionysa! They can be so unreasonable can’t they?

Flossie, I feel for you on the bloody elf, that would have driven me insane!

Frouby, there aren’t many men who don’t love a Jessica Rabbit figure!

I had a Jessica Rabbit figure too, right up to a couple of years ago. All boobs and bum with a defined waist. I miss it daily.
Mourning its loss with wine and Jaffa cakes is undoubtedly counter productive, but I seem to be doing.

Water that is incredibly tough. Do you think he means it when he says it, or is he just struggling to express himself?

I had a bottle of wine last night. Red. I enjoyed it at the time but I'm in no rush to repeat it. I need to try and get back in the gym. Funnily enough, my gym going has dropped off since I finished my month of sobriety. Shocker, huh?

water I was never short of male attention I must admit. But at the time, I thought I was fat. I wish I was as fat now 😂😂😂😂.

Been tearing around all over again today, ffs. Now need to try and sneak off and wrap some presents up. Got ds birthday next week and not sure what I have bought for his birthday and what's for Christmas fml. And it's bothering me.

So am going to do that, have some wine cos this thread has just reminded me I have a bottle in the fridge, nag dd to clean the bathroom which I asked her to do on Tuesday then cook ds dinner, have a nice bath and have bought naice pizzas for me and dh. Dd has a veggie chilli in freezer to use up.

Just hoping I can get most of it wrapped tonight. Have stuff stashed everywhere.

I have never been Jessica Rabbit. But not slim like Dion either. Classic British pear. Fml. Though not sure i could be doing with excessive male attention in retrospect. Quite like being left alone really.

Talking of which, if DH is out tonight i will be AF but he called in sick and if he's moping around the house i am not sure i will manage it.

Dsis and family coming tomorrow, plus an old school friend. Houseful. We are off to the theatre to see Raymond Briggs' father Christmas, which i have seen before and is fabulous, but then coming back for school Christmas fair fml. Have yet to sign up but they are after elves for the grotto and am selling raffle tickets at morning drop off. There is also street dance show, talent show, clarinet show, nativity, craft making session (to then be sold back to us) x 2, church carol service x 2, all requesting my attendance before school finishes (plus a half day to add insult to injury). Pisstakers. At least they're open for the election.

Good luck with the wrapping frouby. A family birthday this month might have tipped me over the edge. And into bankruptcy.

Well, if you will go having sex in March Frouby, you’ve only yourself to blame...

I’ll just leave this here. I blame the parents.

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/selfish-asehole-has-december-birthday-20191205191436

It’s my birthday next week too 😂

Hi everyone, I hope you are all well. I've had a horrid cold, the first one in many years, but not bad enough to stop working or doing sport
Water my OH is a man who doesn't like a Jessica Rabbit figure. Luckily (for him) I'm tall and straight, not much bust and no bum at all. French women tend not to be blessed in the bust department, a DD is probably the biggest cup you can find here. Its quite eye opening to see the bra size range in M & S when I go to the UK.
What is the elf thing about? I left the UK nearly 18 years ago and it definitely wasn't done then. As if Christmas isn't difficult enough already...still no tree here, this weekend hopefully.
My poor cat had all his teeth extracted yesterday but seems perky enough. If he stops dribbling bloody saliva everywhere life will be a lot nicer for him and easier for me without having to wash everything a million times. I think vets are qute cheap here compared to the UK it cost the equivalent of £250.

Dion my worst 80's moment was when I let a friend do a home perm on me yes, it was as bad as you can possibly imagine. But I was very square compared to the rest of you, at least dress wise.

Quite a sober week here, AF Monday and Tuesday, half a bottle last night and probably tonight. We are eating vegan this week having watched a Netflix film on how top athletes improved their performances by changing their diets. Not sure it will work here but at least the shopping bill is a lot less than usual.

Evening all.

DD has stropped off to her Dad's. He is welcome to an evening of drama llama-ing.

Water, I'm really sorry about all you are going through with DS. It doesn't get any easier as they get older, does it? The thing is, you have to take it seriously when they talk about harming themselves, even if you are pretty sure they wouldn't actually do it - just in case. Hugs.

I, too, would not have been AF in the face of Camembert in a box with redcurrant jelly. I'm not sure I'd have shared the Camembert with anyone, either.

Longest, I did laugh at the idea of you being sold all the crafty tat after your DDs have made it. Reminds me of many school fairs which involved DD (who was little and sweet then) buying back all the crap of hers that I had donated. Her happiest moment was winning a teddy bear of a size that could only ever make a parental heart sink.

Fortunately my DP seems unbothered by my lack of, um, assets. I suppose he's just glad to have a girlfriend who has never said no to a shag.

Sorry about your cold, Madame. If you haven't had one for a while, you forget how annoying they are. French vets definitely sound less extortionate than English ones; I hope your cat bounces back.

Frouby, you are doing well!!!! I've not bought a single present yet.

Lentil curry tonight as DD isn't here. It's out of a tin. I know how to live.

Not AF, because I am relaxing. There's always an excuse.

I have to be organised dion cos from the 15th December we are away on holiday for the week, , get back early hours of 23rd so will have 23rd for food shop, the Christmas eve, then the Big Day 🙈.

Ds was actually due on Christmas eve according to LMP date, we had been ttc for 3 years and given up. Had my name down to buy a foal, the realised logging into direct banking to pay deposit I was due on that day, had a funny feeling so did a test before sending off the cash and boom, bfp!

Dates were adjusted to 20th on 1st scan then he was breach so an ELCS. could have gone after Christmas on 27th but no one wants a birthday in the dead zone 😂😂😂.

Have lost a present as well and it's really annoying me. It's a firestick for my mam, came on Monday but can't find the fucker now. Fml.

Not been dry. 2 beers and 2 glasses of wine. Was tempted to have a 3rd wine but am mega busy tomorrow as well. Ponies in the morning, then my school run mum friend is coming after school to try a baileys and tia maria. It's bloody lush if you like baileys, 50ml of each, tm in first, served over lots of ice. Absolutely lethal. She doesn't drink much, been led astray by me recently and now having the odd bailey's at home. Suggested she gets a bottle of tia maria in at Christmas but she isn't sure if she will like it so offered her a try of mine.

Dh reckons he will end up carrying her home 😂😂😂

Have fun Frouby! Dm after being awol for months suddenly announces she is getting a train from France tomorrow and needs putting up. Panic stations as i have five guests already and packed schedule. She has been thwarted by French strikes and is planning to fly over in Saturday instead. DM does not fly. She really doesn't. She's well travelled but always by train and ferry, and has restricted mobility these days to boot. Whatever could go wrong?! She is then planning to go to her house and her dp's house (different cities) to vote, fetch paperwork for buying french flat and check still standing etc, and then returning to France in time for solicitors' meeting on Friday. This is the DM i have been asking about her plans since October. Fucksake.

Longest your DM sounds very controlling. Can't you refuse her if you already have a full house?
I think a lot of people worked from home or took a day off yesterday (and given the extensive holiday most have it isn't difficult to do). I was working, my DS had school, much to his annoyance as many were closed. I have very little sympathy for the strikers, the train drivers are striking because they don't want to lose the right to retire at age 50, they also have free train travel for life, as do their extended family. Electricity workers pay only 10% of their electricity bill. The retirement age is only 62 for most people, less for others. It really is a different world to the UK and needs to be brought into the 21st century.

I saw some of the strike coverage on the news, Madame. The french unions certainly still strike fear in the french government! As much as it's annoying for everyone and they are probably being selfish, I half admire them. I wonder where the UK would be these days if the unions still had the power they had pre Margaret Thatcher and the mining strikes.

I wish we had a Margaret Thatcher atm, love her or loathe her she would have made mincemeat of Bojo, JC and the rest of them. We would never have needed a bloody referendum as she would never have allowed all the things to happen that people voted leave for!

Still no clue who I will vote for. Can't vote Tory, live in a labour stronghold but our local MP is fecking useless but will be re elected easily. Want to protest vote against him, and labour in general but I don't want another tory government. Might be a lib dem vote. Which won't do anything at all. Sigh.

Omg longest!! Does dm know about your house full?? She sounds v childish and needy. That must be incredibly hard. What does dh say to it all? Is he feeling any better? Sounds like you have more than your fair share of stress right now..I’m glad you spoke to dh about how you feel. I just hope he’s really taken on board how much you do. You really are amazing. Your kindness does shine though.

Frouby - omg I want to come to your house too!! I want to try a tia Maria and Baileys!!!!! Sounds like your friend wants to be led astray 🤪. I’d like to be as well!!

Dion - hope you enjoyed your relaxation with wine. I agree...always a reason for me too.

Water - so sorry to hear about your sons struggles. It’s true when they say little children little problems , big children big problems. I hope you have support darling.

Madame - maybe if I moved to France, my boobs would shrink and is overall reduce my size. Sounds better than slimming world!! Is it the French diet?? You never see a big French lady do you!! Or am I generalising too much??

So my London trip to hosp is done for this month. Took both dd’s on my own. Up Wednesday, back yesterday. Knackered. But obviously dh is more tired because he stayed home on short days, ate food that is cooked ahead for him..but he has a cold. A fucking man cold!! I’m seriously done in physically and emotionally!!

Frouby............I’m coming to stay with you!!!!!

Flossie, well done. You are an absolute star. It's a shame your DH couldn't shorten his days even more so he could have taken charge of DD1 - it must be absolutely exhausting to take them both with you. Hugs.

Longest, argh about your DM. What are you going to do?

It would be funny if absolutely everyone voted Lib Dem just because they can't bring themselves to vote Conservative/Labour, or for tactical reasons...