Wankerbastards and autumn weather, crunchy leaves, browning heather. We want crisp, cool days and crisp, cool wine, or beer or gin. But only a couple, as we smash moderatin'.

[Frouby]

Thread 8 for Tryers to be Dryers.

Join in for help and support and lots of laughs to reduce alcohol. Whatever you want to achieve with your alcohol intake, whether it's alcoholidays, dry days, less booze in general we are all in the same boat.

More threads floating around but I can't do clicky links. Just look for Wankerbastards and you will find us.

I’ve just got home. I diagnose ds with lazy bastarditis. He’s panicking because he hasn’t started his dissertation. Talked for a couple of hours and offered some advice, let’s hope it helped. I so love him and just want him to be happy but I can’t do it for him. He has a lovely flatmate looking out for him so that’s good. The M1 was eerily quiet on the way back, salt spreading everywhere. I’m in bed now but hyped after driving for hours so won’t sleep yet.

Ahh water, it's hard when you can't just give them a cuddle and make it right for them, isn't it? It's not too late for his dissertation but he needs to be cracking on. Is he in touch with his dissertation tutor?
I don't know what I'm going to do with my DS. I've almost given up. I can't do it for him and he has no drive to do it for himself. He seems quite happy lying in bed till 3pm and spending the evening with his girlfriend. He has no money but he doesn't need it.

He’s now talking about killing himself so this morning I’ve talked to my mum, the Samaritans and have got in touch with the university welfare people via email. His flatmate left a lecture to go home and check on him and he’s said he won’t kill himself but has agreed to see a counsellor next week so I’ve set that up. If I was drinking tonight would definitely be at least a bottle sucked down very fast but as I’m not it’ll be another sixth form open evening followed by water and an earlyish night. I do feel a bit FML ish though. And sad. And terrified.

Water - passing on through and read your post. My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry. What a worry. Can you get in touch with the uni? Have you got any support yourself? You must feel so out of control. Sending you a huge hug. X

Oh Water how scary. Does he know to go to A&E or phone 999 if he feels like he's a risk to himself? Also his flat mate needs that info.
Motherhood doesn't get any easier, does it?
Have a and a snuggle under my blanket if sobriety xx

He’s called me and said he has no intention of killing himself and that he will find a way to finish his degree and he apologised for being so angry and dramatic earlier. Really hope he’ll be ok, he has fab friends who will call me if they think I need to step in, as they did yesterday. Thank you for the sympathy, dh came home from work and we’ve just been for a walk so I feel a bit better.

Ahhh water, what a worry. I would be frantic, so much pressure on young people these days. I hope he gets some support, he must feel so overwhelmed.

Have had such a busy day. Was at ponies straight from school run waiting for blacksmith, sorted that out, picked my mam up, tidied round a bit, picked ds up, picked dd up and we went to pub for dinner. Dropped my mam back off home, picked dh some dinner up and finally sat down about 15 minutes ago. Am knackered and have been cold all day, just having a cuppa and then going to bed! Dry though so winning at keeping my arse in the bus, day 4 today. Got dd to pick up tomorrow at 7pm so probably won't drink then either.

Very looking forward to Friday and a big, fat gin though, not gonna lie.

Also flying through - and also sending a huge hug to Water. God, the worry of children is never-ending.

Have actually managed to be AF tonight, because driving.

Just adding my hugs. Glad he's confirmed he was being dramatic. Well done water, you did good.

Not AF. Dh was feeling shit and felt like the lesser of evils to chill out over a bottle of wine. On peppermint tea now though.

Water, big hugs to you. I've am/was feeling like your ds is/has. I don't/didn't want to kill myself I just want to disappear. Please ask him to she his Dr. Mine has been brilliant. I'm a few weeks in on ads and just starting to feel I can actually do this.
Hope everyone else is okay.
If I don't count the one glass of wine in sat I would be day 21 af or if I do I'm day 5 af.
Off to have my mri soon.

Thank you everyone. Badgerblu I’m sorry you’ve felt like that too.

He says he doesn’t need ads but I have booked him to see a counsellor next week and I’m pleased he's agreed to go. He went to him before for about six months and it helped enormously so fingers crossed.

I’m on day 18 AF today. So I’m pleased with that, especially under the circumstances. And wine wouldn’t have helped last night or the night before, not really. OBVIOUSLY! I’m meeting a lovely friend for lunch today so looking forward to that. I hope everyone else is ok.

water 18 days is amazeballs. Especially as you have had extra stress.

I am finding 5 straight days bloody difficult so how you have managed that is beyond me. What are your plans after November?

badger good luck with the MRI. Hate any kind of medical stuff.

Am sat once again waiting for someone to come to stables. Sigh, clipping woman this time. She wanted to rearrange this morning because her dd isn't enjoying nursery and is being a madam at drop off time. However I've arranged a quite complicated pick up for ds that involves 2 people meeting to hand him over so said it wasn't convenient to rearrange. Know it's difficult for working mums but she had childcare and surely at 3 you just be firm and walk away?

Also had drama with the admin I was doing for dhs mate/boss. Not my error but looks like a miscommunication between dhs boss and company her subcontracting to. It was something I said should have been confirmed in writing at the time, now come back to bite them on the arse nd will take a decent chunk of time to resolve. Not helped by the fact that he wanted emails sending with the invoices in the body of the email, rather than an invoice creating and attaching as a word doc. Which I have chuntered about since I started doing it. Am not spending hours sorting it for them, he has the emails that have been sent he can argue it out.

My feet already freezing. Fml.

Thanks Frouby. Hope you sort out the invoicing issue or they do.

Plan after November is to only drink on Friday and Saturday evenings and to stick to a bottle or less each time. Which probably qualifies as binge drinking but over 6+ hours is fine I think. And would be 18 units a week.

We are away on 30th November and out for dinner with a couple we don’t know that well so that’ll be my first drink since 3rd November- I reckon my tolerance will have gone down so I’ll have to watch it.

Was sorted in the end water. Cocky little QS got his arse handed to him lol, was his error as per usual. Did 4 years at university apparently but can't tell the difference between week ending and week commencing dates 😂😂😂.

Bloody clipping woman didn't come. Was very annoyed and pissed off and told her not to bother rebooking me. Felt a bit bad as made her cry but she has rearranged me twice this week and I am just too busy to keep being messed around and spending hours sat waiting for people to come and do the job they are being paid to do. She had childcare issues which we all have from time to time, but when you are running a business you have to understand that if you let people down a couple of times you will lose business. Felt awful but have missed 2 days work and still not got them clipped.

Dry so far tonight, dd needs picking up at 7pm from dragonboating but am having a gin after. And am not even sorry. Done 4 days this week, and I really fancy one tonight. Possibly even 2.

Sounds stressful and frustrating Frouby. Don't blame you for the gin. Well done on the four day streak. You're all doing so well! Have promised to help friend woth job application tonight, yawn. Dunno tet whether this will involve wine or just tea. I'd probably prefer the latter tbh but feel i need to offer wine.

Still got minging period and horrid cold so not at my best. Got hopping mad at kids again this morning but after school has been ok, although there was much drama at pick up time. Could not leave house as there was some kind of SWAT team outside- three panda cars, an unmarked one with lights, a motorbike and a helicopter, lots of shouting. Think they were arresting someone they had chased down the railway. Calmed down so snuck out and was only a few mins late for pick up but a bit fed up with this kind of thing tbh - is about the third time this year some kind of police chase has ended up in our street. Like living in the Wire. At least they arrested someone i guess. Apparently they arrested 31 people across the borough in some kind of sting operation re drugs and violence.

Also church hall is closed due to asbestos investigation so both woodcraft and brownies cancelled for the foreseeable, which is a shame, though we are trying to find a new venue.

Took dd2 to swimming lesson though and together we ordered a personalised book for DN's Christmas present, featuring them all, so that pleased the dds.

High drama going on there Longest. I'm a nosy sod so I'd be all over that. I used to go out on raids with the police sometimes and I love watching them put the door in. The most action Ive seen lately was when they arrested someone at my gym. That was pretty exciting.
Not sure I'd like it on my street though - that sounds rough.

Frouby shame the clipping woman let you down, but don't feel bad about sacking her. It's unprofessional, and actually quite arrogant to keep messing with someone's time like that.

I've just done a brill gym session with my PT. Sometimes I do think he's trying to kill me. I love him though. I've trained with him that long we've become mates - a right odd pair of mates. Fat middle aged mum and buff 20-something hunk.
My arse is killing now. He made me do a million squats followed by heavy weighted hip thrusts. I'll be walking like I've been on Frouby's pony tomorrow.

Day 19/20 here depending on if I discount last Friday, and in a good place for the weekend.

Hello everyone
Water I hope your DS gets help and gets himself sorted out. How worrying for you, but yes, you cope better AF with a crisis like that. Little children little problems big children big problems.

NC4 you sound so positive after a gym session, it proves the great effect exercise has on your physical and mental health.

Some serious AF still going on, congratulations to you all. I wanted to join you on the bus this week, started off AF on Monday even though it was my birthday, but fell off rapidly on Tuesday as I brought the beers for the running club. Shared a bottle of wine with DP Wed and Thurs, won't be drinking Saturday. But not drinking to drown sorrows. I'm sure it won't last but everything is going well at the moment even the menopause, despite now being 54

Wow you’re all doing so incredibly well!! Well done the AF-ers!! 🎉🎉

Frouby, id be livid! What makes her time more important than yours?! I wouldn’t feel bad. That’s business. It sounds as if she needs to sort childcare issues prompto. Can’t be nice for her to feel that torn.

NC4- wow your PT sounds amazing. He sounds inspirational and that’s deffo what you need.

Madame - that’s a good place to be..to not be drinking to drown sorrows. It kind of feels a bit more controlled that way doesn’t it.

Longest - wow, I’d be totally freaked out by the raid. There seems to be so much more violence on our streets. Such a worry.
I live in Cornwall and it’s fairly sleepy down here. But I come to London once a month and I get freaked out every single time!!

So I was dry Friday and Monday. So guess 2 days this week. Although I’ve been rubbish since!! Drunk the last 3 nights (about 2 thirds of a bottle each night - so 2 large glasses). I’ve left some in a bottle each night which I guess is moderation. But I wish it was easier to be AF.

Day 19 AF here. Feel very sad.

Madame, happy birthday and I’m glad everything is going well, including menopause 🙂

Well done water!,
Hope you are feeling better! I know how you feel, I've gone into deep depression today well completely worthless and everyone is better of without me. I have an emergency Drs appointment at 16:00.
Have got loads going on. DH has come back for the weekend, which could be a good or bad thing as we aren't getting on.
Still AF and feel so much better for it.
Big hugs to everyone who is stressed and unhappy.

Just flying through but couldn't not reply to Badger. Badger, keep talking to us lovely. Well done on making the dr appointment. You are in no way worthless, it's your depression talking. Your dr will be able to help you put it back in its box. You are strong and insightful and generous. Just keep swimming. Xxxx

Ahhh Badger hugs, hope the doctor has been helpful and you feel better soon.

Won't be dry here, cos friday. Am having 2 cans of lager then gin. Alldagin.

Badger - sending you huge hugs of strength and love. Like longest said, it’s the depression talking. Hope the doctor has helped you lovely x

Hosting a dinner party tomorrow night so deffo won’t be dry. And neither tonight..it’s Friday after all. Am planning Sunday as AF!! My liver will be begging me by then!!

Hope dr was good badger.

Hi everyone else. Happy birthday Mme! Sober birthday is very virtuous.

I will be having wine tonight and tomorrow but aiming for at least 3 AF days next week. Have booked moonlight swim session at the lido on wed and was going to suggest neighbour friend joins me and we go for a drink after. Which might defeat object of healthy swim but is hopefully a path to a moderate night.

Yeah, police raid is a bit freaky, though from what i can make out they didn't arrest one of my neighbours, rather some bloke who was fleeing down the railway sidings at the end of our street which was the same as earlier this year. Mind you some of my neighbours are a bit dodgy too. The guy next door is currently in prison. The woman two doors down just got out, and over the road is a house in multiple occupation owned by the council that quite often has police attending. But houses here can cost well over £1 million so there are also lots of very affluent folk around. I feel the like poor relation at the school gates. It's a strange place really.