This is it, my day 1

[Stopthisshit]

I drink too much
I need to stop
This is my day 1
Join me

Totally, user, a few people in my life have drinking problems similar to me, and when you acknowledge your issue with alcohol it makes them nervous and defensive. People will only change IF and WHEN they want to. But often don’t ever want to. I know this from my own family members, two of whom died because of it.

It's weird how uncomfortable some people seem when you tell them. The fact that you're doing it for yourself should be enough. Hope it gets better, User, and don't give in.

One Virgin Mary down, now drinking Belvoir Tonic with Juniper. Both are lovely to drink and not at all sweet.

I think I'm back on track now, had a difficult few days to navigate through, family stuff, but managed it without resorting to opening and finishing a bottle.

I have found that I get back so much time when not drinking. The day used to end as soon as the wine was open. Now I have time to cook, do hobbies and prep for the next day. And I'm back to reading, instead of falling asleep at the same page every night, which is an unexpected benefit.

Hope everyone is looking forward to a sober and productive / lazy weekend.

omg..... 5 stalls with free wine and prosecco tasting today. I actually managed to walk past them all!

A client bought me a bottle of wine... I left it at work.

that's fantastic cats. I dont know if I could have resisted if the drink was in my hand.

I don’t think I’d have been able to walk past people offering free ready to go Prosecco, user 😂

At least it wasn’t open... if someone has handed me a glass it would’ve been a different story. Baby’s in bed early, not going to lie, could kill for a glass! Playing scrabble instead. Rock’n’roll!

lol we can be proud of each others achievements as well as our own.
yep the witching hours for me too. son is asleep and as a single parent too there is nothing much to do but internet surf to keep me distracted 😜

Wow, I'm proud of you both.

Had a bit of a wobble earlier, saved by the fact that I am on taxi duty fir DS1 tonight, so all still good. Not so pleased that DH asked me to pick up some beer for him on the way though.

oh wilderness that was a bit insensitive of him. well done for not caving in

I’ve let myself down since I last posted. Last night I drank a whole bottle as I had an anxiety attack. The books arrived so I’m hoping tonight instead of a glass of wine I will start reading.

And the reason for the anxiety was a letter for my liver scan which is really worrying me, in part because I thought NHS I will have a few weeks to detox, but it’s on Wednesday.

@Tanline, could you phone up and postpone your appointment for a few weeks?

@Tanline, is there a requirement for you to detox before the scan? Anxiety sucks. Start reading the books tonight and fingers crossed you can start again.

@wildernesstips no, no requirements but I’m convinced I will have an enlarged liver. Yes I’m home alone tonight and although I’ve had a glass of wine already I am going to sit and read ‘ the alcohol experiment ‘ I’ve also bought the Alan Carr book . I really need to do do this!
@ElsaCragg I could probably delay it but I think I need to face whatever is going on! I was expecting at least 6 weeks.

I just wanted to say to you all - well done, you can do this, and it is totally worth it. I am nearly 9 months in and I don’t think I’ll drink again. I’m not a moderator. Stopping altogether is much easier than making and breaking endless rules, for me, anyway. And in case it helps, let me give you a little list of things that have improved in my life. Sleep - I still have the occasional sleepless night but I never wake at 2.30am as if my body is on some kind of timer. Appearance - my skin is clearer and younger looking, my hair seems thicker, I just look healthier and better. Fitness - I have always been into exercise; it seems easier now and I’m able to really push myself. Productivity - I have more energy and can get more done. If I want to relax, I sit down deliberately and I read and read and read (and remember it all). Anxiety - I’m on a more even keel though I will never be free of it entirely, I think. Presence - I’m much more present with my kids. And I guess the last thing to say is that if I am anxious, or I don’t run very well one day, or I’m a bit crap with the kids, or a bit lazy - none of it is because I had too much to drink the night before, so a lot of the self loathing has vanished too.

Also, reading books and blogs on the subject really helped me in the first 30 days. A few have been mentioned. I really liked Claire Pooley’s book The Sober Diaries (based heavily on her blog if you don’t want to buy a book) and also Mrs D’s blog, which is livingwithoutalcohol.blogspot.com/
The blogs themselves also give loads of fantastic book recommendations. I think I read pretty much all of them!

stand you have summed up sobriety really well, I can relate to all those benefits. Do you do anything to keep yourself sober? Do you still read books/blogs do you miss alcohol? I ask because I am a little over 5 weeks sober and still feel I need to do these things, just wondering if it just becomes normal life.

Congrats on your sobriety you have done really well and must feel amazing.

Thanks rupert, I’m quite proud of myself. Congrats on your 5 weeks - that’s huge. I don’t miss alcohol. I sometimes miss the idea of it, like a romantic image of a glass of Provençal rose in a beautiful glass in the sunlight. But I remember that it’s all just ethanol, dressed up to look pretty. By companies who make a shitload of money out of persuading people (increasingly, women) that you can’t have fun or relax without their pretty ethanol. And I remember that if I want a pretty drink, fevertree do a lovely pink aromatic tonic water. I do drink a lot of nonalcoholic beer, because beer was never my drink, so it’s not triggering. But it is nice to have a “grownup” drink in the evening. In the earlier days, when I was finding it hard, it helped hugely to “play the tape forward”. Waking up with no hangover and no guilt never gets old.

Oh, and I don’t really read blogs or books anymore. But I know where they are if I need them. And I can’t emphasise enough how much they helped, and how utterly obsessed with them I was - probably for a good two or three months actually, if I think about it. So alcohol really continued to occupy my thoughts for a while after I stopped, but in a different way. Now it doesn’t have the same fascination. 🙂

Nana

I'm still finding this time of day difficult, but once I'm past that I'm OK. Day 6 today. My sleep hasn't really improved greatly yet but at least I'm not waking with that horrible bruised feeling my body had when I drank.

today was a family gathering. free drinks. anything you wanted. I took what I thought was an orange juice and it was prosecco with OJ. I took one sip and realised then put it down and got a soft drink. previously I would have drunk as many as possible as quickly as possible and lied about how many I had had. I also would have ordered a 'bottle for the table' and drunk it myself.

I'm now craving wine but am going to just tuck myself up in bed with a good book.

Well done user and wilderness, you’ve done really well! I had a very very small glass of red with my roast dinner. But no more. Didn’t even want it. It was a taste thing. I’m not feeling too guilty. The week hasn’t been too bad, Friday was the hardest day, I had recovered from the weekend alcohol poisoning. Finally slept well last night (for me) and feel like I’ve already lost a bit of weight, which I haven’t managed since I had my baby.

that great cats and having 1 drink and being able to stop is a super achievement