Wankerbastards will upset us that try, but we will still be dry. Or dryer at a push. It's a good job we are not in a rush.

[Frouby]

Thread 6 for the Tryers to be Dryers.

Support thread for reducing alcohol, stopping alcohol, monitoring alcohol. All welcome, absolutely no judgement. Whatever your aims with alcohol come and join us here. Lots of swearing but no judging or criticising.

Previous threads dotted around but can never do clicky links.

flossie what I’m referring to is the circadian rhythm diet. The research is really interesting, I can’t do it though, well I can but it’s too annoying. If I’m organised enough to finish eating —and drinking— at 7:30pm (which is mostly the best I can do) I still have to get my kids up, feed, sorted and on bus without having a coffee. I did it for 3 weeks last year.

After 2 AF days last week I fell off the wagon big style. There are a lot of rules for me to break because I have bunch of flavours of disordered drinking. Don’t drink every day (5 consecutive days of drinking) don’t open wine alone at home (three times) don’t drink enough on school nights to feel it at work the next day (twice) don’t let enablers let you drink enough to have blurred memory and 3am beer fear (once). So well done me .
The last one gave me a jolt and now I’m on AF 3 of 4 planned (and I’m out of town and can’t possibly drink). Even if I keep all my rules I go well over recommended by units.

flossie 😂 I hear you.

2800 kcal is my count (2 bottles of wine and 300g of Doritos)

I have to admit it's going to be a challenge for me to take on hardcore dieting goals as well as moderating ones at the moment, though I do want to keep a better eye on my sugar consumption. Noticed the other day that I had a massive energy dip after eating something sweet, felt like I'd been hit by a brick, and it gave me a bit of a jolt as I already know I have some level of insulin resistance.

Bit eye opening to read some of you enjoy feeling hungry, and going without coffee in the morning sounds more like punishment than self love to me.

Felt better after sticking to 1/3 bottle though so really am going to aim for 1/2 bottle being absolute max and not a target to aim for (and often overshoot). Will be AF tonight anyway because Tuesday and because I have far too much to do anyway, but have already talked about drinks with friends tomorrow and am camping at the weekend which really can't be done sober.

Good to hear from you leaving. I really want to nail the not feeling it the next day thing, school night or otherwise.

I am sipping water, sat at the side of the lake watching ds kayak. It's very peaceful and I am not missing gin.

I find carbs at lunchtime drain me of energy and I could just kip. Had a ham salad sarnie at 1.30pm because I knew dinner would be late and I was starving after a morning playing ponies, have been yawning every since. And it was wholemeal bread so not white and not too horrendous.

You are good Frouby. Woodcraft bike ride has been rained into bingo in hall so I am sacking it off in favour of getting Dd2 into bed and cracking on with work. Shame really as rain has eased off and park looked lovely and fresh on my way home. Is my pizza making session next week though - eek in charge of 20 kids and fire.

What could possibly go wrong Longest? 😂
I’m just back from the gym. It was good training with my PT again. I have missed him. He’s only about 25 and a real bodybuilding type but he is wise and kind and the right level of piss-taking.
My muscles are going to ache tomorrow though.
Frouby you sound tranquil. Kayaking seems like a nice activity for a summer evening.
How’s everyone else doing?

Frouby your evening sounds perfect.

Longest you can't attack everything at once, don't be too hard on yourself. You have an awful lot to cope with.

NC4 I'm pleased you are finding the benefits of your PT again!

Not AF tonight, celebrating the fact the mortgage has been accepted for our ruin, so 1/2 a bottle of champagne, 1/2 a bottle of red, lots of almonds and cashew nuts (which are my poison rather than crisps) so around 2000 calories, but I ran 10k this morning as usual, and cycled 50km this evening so hopefully burnt off around 1000 of the excess calories in exercise. Not sure, because once you get menopausal and over 50 (and with a low resting heart rate like mine) it takes an awful lot of sport to make a difference.

There was an interesting podcast on Radio 4 this week about motivation. All in the Mind. It gave advice on how to achieve goals, for example, to call yourself what you want to be, rather than say you are on the route to doing it. so I'm a healthy eater, rather than I'm on a diet. I'm a runner, rather than I force myself to run 5 km twice a week.

Madame Forest - We are moderate drinkers, and slim, fit and gorgeous to boot!

Kids and fire, Longest. Good luck with that one. My DS used to like setting fire to things.

MadameF, congrats!! Champagne and red and nuts would be my idea of Heaven. Well, that and Radio 4.

Frouby, is it too soon to say that you have nailed this AF/moderation thing? I am completely in awe.

Waves to fellow sufferer NC4. Still feel like death not warmed up today. FML. However, AF (Day One Again). It was very hard, and I have hated every minute of it. Very, very boring. But too much to do, so I couldn't give in. Now coughing. Gah.

Also, Longest. In my case, it's probably not good that I like feeling hungry. It reminds me of my former ascetic anorexic existence. Though I didn't drink then, either. So I suppose that was an advantage.

Far too soon Dion. 😂😂😂. Will probably be pissed as a fart every night soon enough and beating myself with an empty gin bottle.

I do feel good though. 2 people have noticed I have lost weight this week, my skin looks good and I just feel better for eating healthier and not drinking. Mainly the not drinking I think.

I also came on Sunday. Hardly any PMT and had forgotten it was due, bit of cramping the first day and that's been it really. Have noticed before when doing good spells of AF my PMT symptoms improve.

Kayaking was brilliant, or rather DS was brilliant. Didn't need a tow back in at all, stayed out with all the bigger kids all night and really tried. As he was getting out the instructor was doing capsize practice with some of the older, more experienced ones and Seb asked if he could have a go. 3 times that little lad got tipped out of his boat and came back up laughing every time. Had to drag him back in in the end.

Came home to a quite pissed and very annoying dh though. Sigh. The not drinking for a week lasted 3 days. He was daft pissed as well, like having a 6ft toddler under your feet bugging you for attention.

Off to bed shortly, hoping dh is asleep by the time I get up though the knobber.

In that case Madame I am a millionaire, with a hot young lover, and a great set of abs.

Pyromania runs in my family. Let’s face it, it’s fun, isn’t it?

Frouby = legend.

Dion the coughing is what’s worn me down. Even my pelvic floor was starting to protest.

Madame - what a great mantra!! I am a moderate drinker that loves exercise and reading, yoga, and the sea.

I’m going to stick with that. So positive. 😍

Day two AF here.

NC4, funny you should mention the pelvic floor. Mine is protesting, too (or was at 3AM, and 4AM and 5AM) 🙁

Hi all.

Not AF but trying to moderate - that does mean sharing a bottle with DH each night this week though! Was meant to be AF last night but spent yesterday sorting out an old trunk which belonged to my parents which was full of photos, diaries, cards etc. I found old photos of my mum and dad and sister and had a good cry - I miss them all so much. Anyhow, definitely needed wine after. On the plus side, I’ve been eating really healthily and doing lots of exercise.

Well done on day 2 waterandlemonjuice.

Well done Frouby and bless your DS - he’s obviously loving the kayaking.

Madame - congrats on the mortgage.

Dionysa and NC4 - hope you start to feel better very soon.

Waves to Flossie, longest and everyone else.

Morning all, feeling pretty good today Day 3 AF and I have to say after being AF for 5 days last week it does seem easier this week.

Longest - totally with you on the camping, I love it but it definitely can not be done sober

Frouby - very interesting that being AF has helped so much with the PMT symptoms. Also, your morning playing with ponies sound fantastic, I used to be very horsey & miss ponies a lot

NC4 - glad you seem to be feeling better

Madame - podcast sounds interesting, you are quite the inspiration on the exercise front

Dionysa - hope you start to feel better, it's horrible feeling shitty

Flossie - love a bit of yoga, one of our teachers does early morning pop up classes in the park every couple of weekends

Melon - well done

Dion - that’s rubbish for you. Coughing at night is exhausting!! Hope you feel better soon.

Canshop - photos can be so emotive. Sending you a huge hug 🤗

Flying by.....going to eat the table in the min. Decided this morning id do the fasting 16:8 diet after you all were chatting about it!! So I had my last sip of wine last night at 10pm, and told myself no food til 2pm today!!
Is it really that simple?!?! (She says, literally wanting to eat her own arm!!)

Canshop sending hugs too, I can hear your pain in your post. When I am missing my dad I remind myself that it's better to have had one of the good'uns even if it was cut too short. But to lose your mum and sister too must hurt terribly. I hope the photos and the tears were healing in some way. Wine totally understandable.

Work has gone mad. My team are totally drowning on work and personal fronts so have had to take over some of their stuff I know little about and attempt to wing it. It's not really winging it sort of stuff though. Have meeting with top dog barrister bloke about it tomorrow who always very charming but in a totally intimidating public school kind of way that brings out all of the chips on my shoulders. And ironically there is a direct clash with my social mobility staff event thingy which has been a bit of a labour of love but now I am having to delegate so a bit nervous about that too...

longest that sounds stressful, you will ace it though I am sure.

canshop sorry for your losses, it must be really hard.

Am not dry today, no reason other than I will be dry tomorrow as we are kayaking until 8pm and I just fancied a gin. Had kne, going to have a soak in the bath, then have another.

Ds was a little shit on the way home from school. Cheeky to my school run mum friend who is lovely, but a bit of a helicopter mum. Her little lad is lovely, but a bit sensitive. Ds is Mr Bombastic so sometimes her little one gets upset if ds is a bit gobby. They were bickering about something ridiculous. Her little one got upset, I told ds off. Ds got a bit lippy and school run mum said something to hkm and he cheeked her back.

Storm in a teacup, ds was told off when we left them and isn't allowed to walk home tomorrow. School mum then txt me to say she was also contemplating a drink as 5 year olds are hard work. But hers wasn't particularly just a bit mardy if anything. So am presuming she means my 5 year old. Sigh.

I really don't like cheeky kids, but he's 5 and doesn't always understand that adults who we are friendly with, are not his friends. He's very confident which is lovely to see, not socially awkward or shy at all. But it does mean he can come across as cheeky I suppose.

Anyway. Think she thinks he's feral and I am a shit mum. I'm not, I know that but still. Gin ftw.

Flossie lol, well done! I would totally have eaten mine by now!

Frouby, I totally hear you! Dd1 has no concept of authority or deference at all. On the one hand I am glad to be raising a strong woman who isn't afraid to say boo to a goose. On the other hand she goes waaaaay too far to be truly comfortable and is often downright rude. I am trying! And weirdly dd2 is pretty much the opposite and will burst into choking sobs if I express the mildest of displeasure.... Fuck knows how to navigate the whole thing really.

On the other hand, perhaps I have a hide of a rhino but I wouldn't have interpreted your friend's comment as referring to your ds. Only kids you've adopted some level of responsibility for tend to drive one to gin, ime. Perhaps she's just more sensitive than you, or perhaps your ds doesn't come across anywhere near as cheeky as you fear either! (I know mine does though - I get her school reports!).

He's a right gobshite Longest 😂😂😂. No idea where he gets it from.......

She's a nice woman and we are friends outside of school runs as well, do stuff with the boys in the holidays and stuff. But she is a totally different parent to me which is absolutely fine. She thinks I am quite lenient though, but to be fair hers are 5 and 19 months so I was probably the same when dd was little. I didn't tell him off at the time because we were across the road from home and I didn't want a big scene in front of people. And tbh it was 6 of 1 and half a dozen of the other between the boys so I didn't want to get into a discussion about that as he wasn't in trouble for his interaction with his friend.

That's exactly how ds is, no deference to anyone, except me occasionally if I insist. It does make him good company though and it's nice to see a 5 year old march up to other kids and say 'Hi what's your name, do you want to play'. He's also incredibly brave, not mardy if he gets an injury and rarely cries so it's got it's positives too. He's definitely Mr Bombastic.

Dd would stand chewing her fingers at that age watching the others play and get upset that she had no friends.

Onto my second gin, hoping it settles my tummy which is feeling a bit odd. Had a salad earlier with crabsticks on and hoping that they hadn't been open too long. Found another opened packet when I went for ds dinner. One was opened yesterday, one last week.

Still a mild dose of food poisoning will help with fat club I suppose.

Yes I am proud of dd1 overall. She is...memorable. I bump into Grannies in parks who have met her once and talk about her with genuine awe.... And she's starting to develop the emotional intelligence to recognise not everyone is as confident as she is and to accommodate that.

But she is definitely a work in progress. Burly fireman from down the road can't keep her in check. Am hoping one day I will manage the delicate job of taming her without crushing her spirit. In the meantime it is the metaphorical gin.