Wankerbastards will upset us that try, but we will still be dry. Or dryer at a push. It's a good job we are not in a rush.

[Frouby]

Thread 6 for the Tryers to be Dryers.

Support thread for reducing alcohol, stopping alcohol, monitoring alcohol. All welcome, absolutely no judgement. Whatever your aims with alcohol come and join us here. Lots of swearing but no judging or criticising.

Previous threads dotted around but can never do clicky links.

(((Longest))) What a horrible day all round. I'm so sorry. As others have said, solo parenting can be easier (it is for me, in lots of ways). Illness (mental or physical) is a great strain for the whole family. That sounds so trite, and I wish I could say something more profound or useful.

Frouby, bloody Hell. 9lb and AF. You really are winning.

Struggling through Day One. Can't stop here now as DD has a problem at school and needs me to unscramble.

NC I would give you a hug too, but germs so am blowing a kiss from a distance 👄👄👄.

Have had a good giggle tonight. I have 4 sisters and 1 brother. My brothers partner is a bit of a funny onion and doesn't really mix with us, at some point she has fallen out with all of them except me. I keep away from the nights out etc which is why I have never fallen out with her.

She isn't the easiest of people,very opinionated and not afraid to say what she thinks.

Anyhow her dd is a few months older than my ds, and there are 5 cousins all in that age group so we all invite them to each others birthday.

This year I think she's not invited them, probably because one of the older cousins has PDA which is a horrible kind of autism and he effs and jeffs and has some pretty awful meltdowns.

But last year she had a fb group chat for the party and it looks like one of her mum friends has clicked on last years chat and confirmed she is bringing her son to the party at a local softplay party.

The softplay doesn't have a limit on numbers or anything.

Then my oh so very arsey sis has replied saying she would be able to bring her ds as well, then she must have scrolled back, seen the date was for last years and then asked if we had an invite at all 😂😂😂.

They clash at the best of times, it's not going to end well. My other sister phoned me to ask if I could understand what was happening. I think it's a bit shitty not to invite cousins to a big party but won't lose sleep, neither will non arsey dsis. But arsey one will be raging, dbro won't have a clue what's going off, sil will be like a cornered rat.

I would love to be a fly on the wall. Sil just deleted us all from fb group as well 😂.

Am in bed already, did a couple of hours work after fatclub, had a cuppa and came up. Being sober is everso relaxing.

Hi everyone. Lots of tough times for you all - sorry to hear about it.

I nearly fell at the first hurdle! Someone offered us all a g&t at work at 5.30. This is unheard of - we don't have booze in the office - there was a reason. So of course I immediately said yes. then I remembered I had promised myself an AF week, or at least days and said I'd changed my mind as I was going to the gym. Honestly, the mayhem! The disappointment! The pressure! Fortunately I was feeling bloody minded and it just made me more inclined to say no because everyone was being so silly about it. I wasn't stopping anyone else have one.

So anyway I made it home AF which is not usually such a challenge on a modest little Monday. Phew.

Longestlurker, do you mind me asking what your DH has? Don't mean to be nosy.

I'm a single parent but I am usually childfree sunday nights, monday nights, tuesday nights. It helps me rebalance because family life really does take it out of you. I'm happier as a single parent than I was with ex though. No down time ever and 3 people instead of 2 wanting more of me than I've got, let alone have to spare.

I’ve just giggled at your story frouby. That sounds hilarious. Sit back and watch it unravel!! Well done on af and weight loss. Incredible. You must feel so so in control. I’m envious.

NC4 - sending hugs from afar. Have you got a virus??

I’ve stayed AF!!!!!!!!!!! Can’t bloody believe it!!!!!!!!!! Seriously can’t remember when I did this last. Nearly failed on so many occasions this eve but then gave myself a talking to and told myself I’d hate myself if I gave in. Feel so proud. I know it’s only one day. But I seriously have such a problem that this is a milestone.

Mind you, still pissed off at the scales not telling me nice things. Still no change on weight!! Had porridge and blueberries for breakfast, mushroom omelette for lunch and a green veg stir fry with dried noodles for dinner. Fruit for snacks. Why the fuck is my weight not moving!!

WELL DONE FLOSSIE

But Longest your DH should count himself lucky he has you looking after him and picking up all the slack. Not gravelly but at least a little bit appreciative.

Frouby bloody families, eh! I swear half the world’s conflict would be over if they just switched Facebook off.

Slightest well done turning down the gin. Why are people so silly about it? I’ve vowed never to question anyone’s choice not to drink, ever. It’s like asking childless folk when they are having a baby. Tactless and nosy.

Dion hope DD is ok.

I’ve still got work to do but I’m probably going to sack it off and go to bed instead. I’ve snapped at both boys and even my big handsome cat tonight. Unheard of.

I meant Senseless. Sorry, I’m a div.

And AMAZING Flossie!!! How have you found it?

He has ME senseless, triggered by a pancreatic insufficiency which comes with severe IBS symptoms, plus depression. So it's a combination of physical and mental illness. He also isn't entirely NT as he has ADHD and dyspraxia, which wouldn't be an issue but it comes with a certain inability to regulate his emotions which he would normally have coping strategies for but the illness affects his resilience. It's a tricky old combination to live with.

Ooh crossed posts, fab work Flossie! And senseless for resisting the pressure. Sleep well NC4.

I didn’t know he had dyspraxia Longest. That’s what DS1 has. It’s why he’s so impulsive, hot headed and belligerent when the mood takes him.
Add in everything else and you must be exhausted.

Senseless- well done. That’s definately strength shown there. I totally would’ve caved if I’d had pressure. Well done on standing your ground.

Will read you all tomorrow, have avoided thread due to shitty week / drinking loads combo.

AF tonight but haven’t been since last Monday , feel and look shit. Intend being AF until Friday.

Yes NC4. It's something I guess we both naively thought he'd outgrown but I think it's more that he has been masking and he no longer has the energy to do so.

I also would not be at all surprised if Dd1 has it, or ADHD, or both, too and school don't disagree but say she doesn't meet the criteria for a referral as it isn't causing significant issues in school as she can regulate herself with support. She goes totally haywire when out of her comfort zone though. Every new school year almost breaks me till she gets herself settled.

Turnng down a free GnT is really strong, well done!

I've got through Monday AF, enjoying the feeling of control.

Water, I have often felt like that too. Good luck with this week.

Flossie, I'm so happy to read this. I know I'm hardly one to talk, but one day is a hundred million times better than no days. Are you going to try for Day 2 tonight? I'm intending to, but who knows what will happen by the time the day has thrown stuff at me.

Senseless, saying no is impressive.

Thanks for thinking of DD, NC4. She's being a stroppy little madam, and also displays very distinct signs of AS (which I know all too well from DS). A tiring combination. However, she has gone to school with only a normal amount of complaint.

Looking forward to the next instalment in the DSis/SIL saga, Frouby. And I am absolutely astounded by your AF stint. I want some of whatever you're having.

longest - sounds like a tough time, hope things are looking better for you soon.

@ Flossie44 - well done on AF last night, me too :-)

Good luck to all marching on with Day 2, Day 1 or even longer, we've got this

Hi everyone

Feeling really scratchy and irritable today. Work is so stuffy and I feel surrounded by crap (actual physical stuff) which is so hard to resolve and get off my desk. I am lurking in a meeting room supposedly on a call but the others aren't ready and have asked for 5 minutes - so I am sneakily skiving here.

I'm annoyed because boyfriend showed up well over an hour late last night, and I didn't do anything with my whole evening except wait around for him - I would have had time for a swim if I had known his real arrival time - and when he got to me he was shattered and so self absorbed. We went to bed, he didn't sleep well, he kept me awake, he was too tired for sex, I have this awful never ending period so wasn't really up for it anyway but feel really left high and dry without even a proper passionate snog. I have never had that from him before and I feel this really dull sense of inevitable let down: I am just his comfort blanket. He didn't really ask how I am (achey and a bit worried about a few things) and I'm fucked off with him. I've lost an evening and a morning that I coudl have exercised (child free) and a night of sleep and I feel scratchy and pissed off.

I'm ashamed of how I feel, like one of those arsehole men on the relationships board who become moody and grumpy with their wives when the wives are too tired / don't feel like sex. What I actually feel like is going back on tinder and pulling. It's so childish. It's utterly dysfunctional (I am not going to do it) but since my ex left a couple of years ago I have found it so fantastically liberating to be able to get sex and flirting and male attention whenever I want that it makes me feel almost like I'm going backwards to be in a relationship again, which always turn out like this: you don't sleep, you go to work tired, you don't have time to do your own stuff and you keep hanging on for the one night in x that you get some satisfaction.

Tell me to grow the hell up.

Anyway. I'm not drinking. ok I never drink in the office at 11am: but I am NOT DRINKING

I don’t think you need to grow up Senseless. I think it’s quite normal to feel disappointed in your evening. My XH was often more interested in staying up to watch a film than coming to bed with me and it made me feel crap.
Anyway, you’re not drinking, so that’s a win 🌟

Longest I meant to ask if they found your coil?

I was up half the night coughing up a lung. God I feel rotten. At least it’s keeping me AF. I want my mum to bring me soup! She probably would if I asked but I don’t want the associated fuss. Just soup.

Senseless how long have you been with your DP? If you feel like going back on Tinder then he probably isn't the one so ditch him and go back on. If you've only got together recently and aren't still ripping each other's clothes off (despite the never ending period) there's something wrong!

NC4 funny you should ask as I had the scan today and it's totally awol. Weird. Go receptionist laughed at me for making an appointment to be refitted which made me feel a bit shit. Sonographer also commented on my polycystic ovaries. At least they helped stop me getting pregnant!

Good old oak helped me out minding dd2 for my appointment and said no rush to pick her up so have got my long shot application off my to do list. Going to make cakes with dd2 now and then we are going to another friend after school before woodcraft tree climbing session. So should be a good day though am knackered after v early start to get some work done before kids woke up.

Senseless sorry you had a shit evening. I'd be giving him another chance but I am a softie I guess.

Well done to all who were AF or moderate last night. I am going to try again tonight

Senseless - well done for AF after such a crummy evening.

NC4 - hope you start to feel better

Madame - generally we are, that's why I'm disappointed. We met last October. I've never seen him without having a good time before. I really like him, I just think he's tired and distracted and don't want to see him when he's not bringing his self to me - I think that sounds a bit mean - don't bother if you're not entertaining- but it's fair. I tidied for him, cancelled swim for him, was sweet to him and generally looked after him and I get no good energy in return. Fine, if you're knackered you're knackered. So go home and see me another day

I guess it depends what you want from the relationship really Senseless. If you want a fun dating type relationship, I think you have it absolutely spot on. If you want to settle down together, then there are going to be times when one or both of you are just not feeling too groovy.
I suppose the question is - are you on the same page about where you see this thing going?

Senseless, men are a law unto themselves. I think NC4 is right to ask what it is you want. I absolutely didn't want another relationship post divorce, but have been having one with an impossible man for 3.5 years now. I do think you sound braver than I am. My DP goes into horrible moods when I sometimes feel like telling him to bugger off and come back when he can be civil. Instead, I end up being even nicer to him . So I am not very well placed to advise anyone about anything!

Longest, I think there should be a children's detective story along the lines of The Mystery of the Missing Coil. I'm glad you managed to do your application.

Day Two (or Evening Two) is crowding in on me. FML. I bought some naice fizzy drinks this afternoon, so I'm going to try one of those. It has poured with rain all day and is freezing cold, so I'm fed up.

I have just been a bad mother and not answered the phone to DD, because she'll be wanting a lift and I'm not flogging through an hour's worth of traffic to collect her from school when she could walk back in 20 minutes.

Flossie, how is it going??