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Alcohol support

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Roses are red, we like Becks Blue, Tryers to be Dryers push on through. 2019 will be our Valentine.

973 replies

Frouby · 05/02/2019 06:34

Thread 4 for support, tips, tricks and friendship as we reduce our alcohol intake even more. For anyone who wants to reduce, stop, moderate or even just track their drinking.

Absolutely no judgement, just support. Everyone welcome.

Previous threads somewhere but am rubbish at clicky links.

Old tryers and new dryers, welcome to our thread. The one that starts in February and will see us all hit our goals as we move forwards.

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Frouby · 15/03/2019 19:10

Evening all.

Dryish here which is unusual for a friday. Thats 2 friday nights I have been almost dry. Had 2 cans of lager earlier and was going to have a couple of gins, but ds vommed so that's the end of that malarkey.

Glad this week is over, Cheltenham has been a baptism of fire, fast and furious and frantic and emotional. Saw a really sad race today, hot favourite had an horrifying injury and was pts. Obviously you don't see that bit, but it was clearly a really bad broken leg. Knocked me sick.

Will have made money but don't know how much yet, couldn't be bothered to work everything out and ds been alldapoorly.

So dh going to pick us a thai up, then me and ds having a sleepover in my bed again. He's really not right, hoping he doesn't throw up again. Don't think its a tummy bug, just a temperature making him sickly.

And welcome Swarskid, all welcome here.

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longestlurkerever · 15/03/2019 19:33

Sorry you've had a tough day Frouby. Hope you don't get ill yourself.

Welcome Swarzkid.

Climate protest was good. Much bigger than last time. Stayed longer than planned so skipped the museum but we checked out some of the sculptures of famous protesters and got a suffragettes book from the library. Will get her to write to our mp then I think I can tick off the educational box. Had a quick tea with my cousin who was passing through on a work thing, which was nice, though may have had a small glass of wine. DH still not well and properly down in the dumps now which is Hard Work.

Niece's 2nd birthday party on Sunday in Cambridge but tomorrow is a boring getting on top of housework day, though the kids are lobbying for the trampoline park so let's see if I cave in.

Anyone got anything nice planned?

Frouby · 15/03/2019 21:22

I will be having a similar sort of day longest. The weather is going to be lousy and with ds ill we will be housebound. I am planning a deep clean of the bathroom and debating glossing in there and removing a mirror ready to emulsion the walls and ceiling. Might possibly even get it done if ds not too poorly.

And really want to deep clean our bedroom as well but not sure whether to bother with a sicky ds in with me.

I really really want the weather to pick up a bit. Need to get cracking with sowing seeds and chitting potatoes. Have the brand new polytunnel to fill as well and the first reasonable day we get am going to start a load of things off in there that can tolerate the odd frost.

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NC4Now · 15/03/2019 22:16

Frouby you always seem so active. Same with you Longest. You’re quite inspiring.
I’m working on this. I really want to have a wholesome life.
I’ve been properly depressed and out of work this week but have used my time to address what it is I need to make things better.
So I lent myself a few hundred quid and bought some new clothes - bigger size but I’ll be more stylishly fat; paid for some training to give my business a boost, and paid for Mr Hypno on Tuesday.
I hate dibbing into my savings, but current state almost quantifies an emergency. Intervention needed.
Then..... bonus! Got a little windfall I wasn’t expecting which will cover almost all of it.
Let’s hope this is the start of picking up.

NC4Now · 15/03/2019 22:17

Oh Frouby there was someone on Radio 2 this afternoon on about shovelling woodchip. Thought of you 😂

Swarskid2184 · 16/03/2019 07:36

I have read a few references to a drink app on here to track your drinking. I have had a look and there are loads! Can anyone recommend one?

Frouby · 16/03/2019 12:42

NC people used to think of me when Ibiza tunes came on Radio 1, now its shoveling wood chip on radio 2. 😂😂😂

Ds much better today thank goodness, more a snotty monster than dying swan.

So because the weather is atrocious I started emptying the bathroom to deepclean, then thought I may as well just paint the fucker while its empty, so I did. Needs another coat of emulsion though, then need to do glossing but will do that 1 day in the week.

Just having 5 minutes then going to sort a load of clothes out, put the bedding on, have a bath and then a few beers. Really looking forward to a few hours sat chilling, am knackered!

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longestlurkerever · 16/03/2019 15:58

Afternoon all. Seems to be one of those days. Dd1 hellbent on winding up dd2. Dd2 shrieking and screaming at everything. Sent her to her room to calm down but she got so upset she was gagging so I am now sitting with her hoping she might have a little nap but frankly the odds are slim. Is ridiculously windy outside so not much fun for a walk or anything. We went out for lunch which was ok. Was going to make cakes with kids for DN's party but need to wait for a ceasefire.

Sorry Swarzkid, I have never used an app. I think people mentioned one called dry days? We have all found that having regular days in the week that are dry. (ec Monday and Thursday) works well, as it gets you out of the agonising will I won't I battle of wills.

longestlurkerever · 16/03/2019 16:02

Frouby - impressive! It surprises me that NC4 thinks I am always doing things as I am a lazy sod a lot of the time. I guess I do get out and about quite a bit but that's partly because when I am at home I tend to be sitting on my bum while ignoring a zillion jobs I could be doing. I did do a big clear out of the kitchen shelves this morning and rearranged some furniture to make room for a bookcase I rescued from the street. But I am at the stage where it actually looks worse than when I began.

Dd2 is drifting off. I am now pinned to her bedroom floor.

Dionysa · 16/03/2019 17:37

Just flying in. Not posting as I am too miserable. AF last night, but won't be tonight. Will post when I am up to it.

NC4Now · 16/03/2019 17:57

Sorry to hear that Dion. I really hope you feel better soon. Anything we can help with?

Miserable here also. Drank far too much wine last night and ended up texting XH in a far from dignified manner. I mean it could have been much worse, but I shouldn’t have texted him at all.
So now I’m hungover, embarrassed and missing him - he always looked after me well when I was hungover too. I just want a cuddle and a bit of looking after, but he’s the reason I feel this way.

I’m supposed to be at a party later, and frankly I couldn’t feel less party ready if I tried.
Hoping my new jumpsuit will inject a bit of sparkle into my mood, but that’s a big hope.

Dionysa · 16/03/2019 18:37

NC4, your message made me cry (again). But thank you. I would also like cuddle and some looking after, more than anything else in the universe. We can offer it to one another virtually.

I hope you make it to the party in your lovely new jumpsuit. x

longestlurkerever · 16/03/2019 20:07

Sending big hugs. Am hoping NC4 is all dolled up now and feeling special.

Dion I am sorry to hear of your crap day. I am feeling sorry for myself for different reasons. Feel like I am having to be an octopus. Making dinner for kids, separate dinner for me and DH, cakes for DN and doing 3x laundry and dishwasher stacking. Already popped out to shops and to fetch car seat back from friend's. Supervised dd's homework and card making, dd2's tantrum, wrapped presents, sorted out ridiculous kitchen chaos. In the meantime DH has been out pottering in the park and is now playing computer games. If I mention it he will say "you do realise I have ME, right?". Which basically means I just have to suck it up. Sorry for moan. Wine consumption has been creeping up since DH"s latest episode so have realised this is a major trigger for me but am also not sure how else to life myself from doldrums.

On the upside dd2 ended up sleeping for 2 hours so was peaceful at least. May pay for it tonight.

Frouby · 16/03/2019 20:49

So sorry you are all feeling shitty, I am hiding behind my phone before I throttle dd.

What started as an innocent conversation about donuts has escalated into a teenage critique of my parenting. Apparently I don't cook healthy food and we are destined to obesity because we eat too many takeaways and junk food.

I cook most things from scratch. Dd has the option when she comes home from school of having a nursery tea with ds, usually pizza, pasta and either pesto or tuna for ds, jacket spud and cheese, something beige or a toastie. Or waiting til 7.30ish to have grown up food with me and dh, which I will happily substitute a veggie alternative for so a quorn steak instead of chicken etc.

The fruit bowl is always full, as is the veg and salad drawer. There is beige food in the freezer and usually some homecooked food as well. There is a shelf full of cookery books and a cupboard full of herbs and spices and I am more than happy to add whatever she wants to the shopping list.

Said she should cook a healthy meal for us all each week but she is too busy withbher revision and social activities. At 14. Fml.

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longestlurkerever · 16/03/2019 20:55

Gah Frouby! Kids! Tell her I will happily swap places with her if I get twatting quiche and Frouby curry even once in a while.

Frouby · 16/03/2019 21:15

That's the thing Longest I do cook most of what we eat myself. I could understand if they were fed findus pancakes and dinner ding every night but I don't and I have shown her and taught her how to cook.

She knows how to do everything from a poached egg to homemade pizzas, spag bol, veggie spag bol and lasagne, everything you can oven cook, 3 or 4 simple pasta dishes from scratch, toasties, a chopped salad, baked spuds, homemade soup, meat and a veggie chilli, twatting quiche, omelettes, pancakes and fuck knows what else that is healthier than cous cous and pitta breads, pesto pasta and cheese and tomato pizza from the freezer that she cooks for herself when she is being arsey.

She's moaned tonight because cheese on toast isn't brilliant. But Saturday is my night off cooking or thinking about food. Dh goes and buys whatever he is doing on Saturday morning, ds usually asks for a tuna sandwich or tuna pasta and dd can ask for whatever she wants as well. But she usually can't be arsed to think of anything so just says she will sort something out later.

Tonight there were quorn pieces, quorn mince, and quorn sausages in tje freezer plus veggie burgers, veggie fingers, cauliflower cheese grills. Oven chips, waffles and some veggie bolognese. Fresh salad, carrots, broccoli, runner beans, and mushrooms in fridge. A billions eggs, cheese, fresh brown bread, and loads of tinned stuff. Plus pasta, rice, cous cous, lentils,noddles and rice noodlea.

She had cheese on toast because she couldnt find anything healthy. And at least it was brown bread. Plus the donut she slated despite 3 types of yogurt and a bowl full of fruit available.

Shes gone to bed now, holding back the tears and clutching a vegetarian cook bool that will hopefully hold back the scurvy 🙈🙈🙈

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Flossie44 · 17/03/2019 08:49

NC4. Hope you got to the party and the jumpsuit made you feel and look special. New clothes are always a good pick me up.

Longest - I did giggle at you being pinned to dd’s bedroom floor

Dion - how you doing hunny?? Hope you’re ok Flowers

Frouby - omg I’ve had this convo with my kids relentlessly. I too cook from scratch. They also have the CHOICE of eating at 5, or waiting and eating with dh and I about 8. Which in my opinion is way too late for them but I’ve had to relent because apparently I was harming their relationship with daddy due to not letting them eat dinner with him during the week. Ffs. But when they have stayed up and eaten with us, they’ve been vile, hungry and overtired..and the evening has turned into some horror film. But that’s apparently preferable to eating together at 5pm!! Dd1 is also a vegetarian....however she doesn’t like fucking vegetables. I’m also apparently ruining her life as I can’t magic a food source that she likes and enjoys!! Everything I offer isn’t good enough. I think that’s where I’m going wrong....I’m offering, or giving choice!! I should just say ‘tonight is sausages, veggie or meat..don’t like..go hungry ffs!’

As for life in general here..it’s almost as shit as can be tbh. Dd2 still not at school. Into 10th week now. Her health is deteriorating massively. It’s hard to watch. It’s even harder to know what to do. No one seems to be helping either. Hugely frustrating and worrying.
As for wine..I’ve cut down the last 4-5 days. Dh made a comment on Tuesday that I’m a miserable argumentative cow when I’ve drink wine. He’s prob right. I’m an emotional wreck right now anyway. Wine makes my barriers come down..and the emotions is held back from him and the world, come tumbling out. So by reducing wine, I can keep those barriers in tact. Don’t know which is more harmful!!

leavingAqaba · 17/03/2019 12:19

Flossie I'm so sorry things are so hard with your daughter right now. Barriers or wine, yes difficult. You have to have some release surely.

On the food, I think too much choice can be risky but it's easier for me to say, I guess, given that mine are not teens and put up less of a fight. Mine have a nursery tea during the week made by me, I eat with them if I'm by myself and cook again for 8pm in the other half is about. We generally all eat together on the weekend with varying degrees of success. Frouby Grin hold back the scurvy Grin

A ten hour power cut yesterday, the worse thing about which was that it was 30 mins too short. Just

leavingAqaba · 17/03/2019 12:23

.....posted too soon. Just as the kids were about to go to bed it came back and they lost their minds. The older one ended up jumping on the top bunk and split open a hot water bottle I had kindly put in the bed because it was fucking freezing. FML. I hate Sundays, it's my first day back at work. Plan AF tonight but actually this is not a good day of the week for it.

Frouby · 17/03/2019 13:47

Flossie Flowers its must be so so difficult for you all. Makes me teenage strops a walk in the park.

I have decided I hate sundays too. It just seems so chaotic and busy. Been to get stroppy knickers D of E kit this morning, after painting the bathroom for 2 hours. Then to Homebase, B and M, The Range and aldi. All 4 of us shopping together is not good fun. I hate it, ds is a little shit because daddy is Disney Dad, dd alternates between being a spoilt brat and a princess depending what mood she is in and dh buys loads of fucking crap, dumps it in the trolley/basket and fucks off leaving me juggling everything at the till.

My house looks like squatters have moved in, there is shit everywhere. And I have a sunday roast to make.

Am usually dry on sundays but have a feeling that bottle of peroni in the fridge will get drunk and possibly a gin too.

Off now to start scrubbing the grouting in the bathroom. Fml. Fml. Fml.

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NC4Now · 17/03/2019 13:53

Lots of love to you all. Sounds like it’s needed. I’m not feeling too coherent today. I have a terrible hangover. It was quite an eventful night in the end!

Frouby · 17/03/2019 18:43

Did you enjoy it NC? I don't mind a hangover as long as I had fun.

Am bloody knackered. Have just sat down from 8.30am. Had a huge row earlier with dh about mess. Been messing around most of the day in the bathroom, it looks fab and reallt fresh and clean but it was a mission. Just need to gloss the woodwork now which wont take long, and put the shower curtain pole back up.

So have been painting and bleaching and scrubbing since yesterday. Came down at 3pm to start sunday lunch to a sink full of pots, the sides covered in crumbs and a buttery knife, the butter still out, an empty ham packet, empty crisp packet and various other shite.

Was not a happy bunny and told dh and dd they were a pair of selfish, idle gits. If it wasn't for the fact that ds loves his Sunday dinner I would have made myself cheese on toast and told them to make their own tea.

Am keeping ds at home tomorrow, he's still not right though much better. He's got a horrible barking cough and he fell asleep in the car earlier which isn't like him at all.

Am off for a bath in my new bathroom and then having a very early night.

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longestlurkerever · 17/03/2019 19:01

Flossie I am so, so sorry to read what you are going through. Will really try not to loan as it's nothing in comparison. Your emotions coming out after a drink makes total sense and, as you say, holding it in is not good.

NC4, I hope you mean eventful in a good way. Hope your hangover is receding.

Have been out at DN's 2nd birthday party. Was sweet. Dsis announced her pregnancy, kids weren't total horrors after both sleeping in the car. Came back for piano lesson but it was cancelled at the last night, bah, so have been battling with dd2 over violin practice instead.

NC4Now · 17/03/2019 19:01

It was good fun Frouby. We ended up going to a nightclub where I snogged the guy I swiped right on earlier this week 😳
This is the behaviour of a 19-year-old!!
He did a disappearing act at the end of the night and messaged me to say he didn’t want to ruin a friendship with lustful intent, so that’s fair enough. It was a welcome distraction and confidence boost.

Flossie44 · 17/03/2019 21:46

Ahhh NC4 - are you disappointed?

Frouby - id be digging the patio up for dh!! Mine knows any mess made is a recipe for disaster in that I go ape shit!!