Roses are red, we like Becks Blue, Tryers to be Dryers push on through. 2019 will be our Valentine.

[Frouby]

Thread 4 for support, tips, tricks and friendship as we reduce our alcohol intake even more. For anyone who wants to reduce, stop, moderate or even just track their drinking.

Absolutely no judgement, just support. Everyone welcome.

Previous threads somewhere but am rubbish at clicky links.

Old tryers and new dryers, welcome to our thread. The one that starts in February and will see us all hit our goals as we move forwards.

Hello everyone
Dion yay well done on Day 1 even if it was driving enforced you did it! And NC4 I hope you are OK and work picks up.
Frouby I hope you are getting rich with Cheltenham.
I still haven't had an AF night for ages, but some nights only one glass of wine (last night I drove to the restaurant). I didn't even manage to be AF on Tuesday when DP wasn't here, birthday at the running club so I had a beer and then a glass of wine or 2 seemed a good idea to celebrate watching English TV for the first time in months.
Weather pants here this week but am still running everymorning in gale force wind at 7am. It was easier today so fingers crossed the thyroid medicine is starting to work. Although I'm still eating like a pig and losing weight.

Are you feeling like you’re getting a bit more energy Anglaise? I’m always in awe of your running. It would be so good to have that drive.

I’ve just booked in to see a hypnotherapist on Tuesday to address my issues with food and drink. I’m quite excited about it!

I'm not sure if any of you will remember me but I briefly signed into one of these AGES ago - maybe even a year. I was in a really bad way with 2 bottles of wine a day plus sometimes beer and sometimes spirits of all and any kind. Drinking first thing in the morning. Drinking all day. Never drunk, just drinking to be normal. And I hadn't had an AF day for well over 15 years.

Well ... early February I became really unwell. Actually scrolling back a bit - since summer 2018 I had become unwell, liver related. I had high cholesterol and my liver function tests were crap so GP sent me for a scan and they said there was severe fatty liver disease and probably some hepatitis. Still didn't stop drinking although I did moderate a bit, especially with the spirits.

In February I became ill with something not alcohol-related and ended up having 3 weeks in hospital where I totally detoxed. It was not a pleasant addition to the process of being so ill but the drugs for the illness must have assisted with the detox itself. I've been out of hospital for 2 weeks and still AF. This is partly because I'm on massive doses of antibiotics and actually can't face a drink. And partly because, inadvertently I've ended up being where I've been longing to be for years and years. Years I've woken in the morning saying I won't drink today or more realistically I won't drink more than one bottle of wine today. And failed and gone to bed feeling so depressed and such a failure, woken at 4am feeling sweaty and awful.

The things I've noticed: I've lost 2 stone. I needed to so I'm not super slim, I could easily lose another to be average size. I sleep all night unless something wakes me up, after which I go straight back to sleep. That NEVER happened. I don't sweat much. I'm not hot all the time. I remember things easily. Most remarkable of all is that I am WAY less anxious. My anxiety was what fuelled my drinking but the odd thing is that all those years I worried about how would I deal with anxiety without a drink and here I am not as anxious in the first place. And I've had massive things to worry about although I'm mostly off work as too ill to do anything other than a bit of work from home.

On the down side, I feel flat emotionally and very very tired and drained. Some of that might be the illness though. My blood tests for my liver are already normal again although I think there will be a bit of damage there. My other blood tests, for the illness, are not yet normal though.

Technically I could have a drink this weekend as the antibiotics stop today. But I'm seriously wondering whether to or not ... what do you all think?

Wow, that’s quite a story LittleDog.

I wouldn’t have a drink this weekend. You’ve come so far from what sounds like a pretty bad place. I wouldn’t want to go back there. Keep moving forwards and well done!

Agreed! Well done Littledog.

LittleDog I remember you. Wow, what a time you've had! It is really interesting to hear your experience, I'm so sorry you've had such a terrible time with illness. But it is great to hear that you've lost weight and the anxiety has disappeared with the alcohol.
I agree with the others, don't do it. I think you have had a wake up call and the liver blood enzyme tests can be misleading sometimes. Mine were worse when I was drinking 10 units a week than they were when I drank 50.
NC4 I hope you find the hypnotherapist worked. It helped me kick start my drinking moderation even if things have gone rather pear shaped since DP is around. As for the running, you just put on your trainers, go out of the door and run, it's easy, no need to wait for the gym or swimming pool to open. I have a very active border collie who needs his exercise regardless of the weather - that too is very motivating.

Evening all

Littledog if I were you I would try very hard not to drink for a wee while yet. You have been through so much and your body needs chance to recover. Could you treat yourself to something nice instead? New pjs and new bedding maybe and a big fuck off bar of chocolate or a really nice takeaway and a decadent M and S pudding? I do remember you and welcome back.

Had a good day today. Until I made a stupid, stupid mistake and lost £300 😭😭😭. My own fault, a bet didn't place and it cost me dearly. Will have just about broke even so not horrendous but was a really horrible moment when I realised what I had done. Or not done.

Ds also came home from school poorly this afternoon. Felt sick and had tummy ache. He seemed bright enough when we got home but then fell asleep the woke up with a temperature.

Not dry tonight though, need a drink to give my head a wobble. Only having a couple of beers though. Just in case he is ill overnight but he's bouncing around on calpol.

So much has happened...

LittleDog, I remember you too. I'm so sorry that you have not been well. But if you can continue AF, go for it! I was very interested to read about your experiences. I am a bit demoralised by posters who are evangelical about how easy it all is and how they are transformed since going AF - but yours is realistic and understandable to me. I was particularly struck by the fact that you used alcohol to overcome anxiety, but are in fact less anxious now that you are not drinking. I need to internalise this.

I was full of good intentions, which have come to fuck all tonight, for various reasons.

Frouby, I'm sorry about your DS. Sounds a bit like whatever my DD is suffering from. I'm also sorry about your £300 loss . I have not checked anything yet, but the thought that I might lose money is another sick feeling that sometimes outweighs my sick feelings about DP and his hopelessness.

NC4, keep us posted on they hypnotherapist! It didn't help me (the Ailsa Frank recordings were more helpful to me) , but so much depends on finding the right match between patient and therapist. I so, so, so hope it works for you.

dion it was a rushed thing. Needed odds to match more or less, they did 2 minutes before the off, hit bet on the bookies then bet on the exchanges and then double checked the exchanges matched, then went and watched the race. Shouted it in and everything.

Didn't realise odds had changed last second on the bookie bet so it asked me to confirm. Stupid error but I won't do it again and am still slightly up for today or will be when I use my free bets tomorrow.

Tis what it is. I still feel gutted but have spent the same amount on nights out in the past, or on clothes or on a few takeaways or any other stupid pointless things so just have to put a line under it, not make the same mistake again and live and learn.

Could still cry though.

Oh Frouby. I'd be almost crying too. I know you can talk it down by thinking of the other crap you could easily have spent that on - but it is very bad luck on you. I would be a gibbering wreck if I were you. I daren't look at any of the MB sites now, for fear that I have fucked up in some way. Especially not as I bought two drinks for a friend this evening, thinking that I could afford to as I had probably won at least a tenner today, and it's a nice way to spend it...

It was a silly mistake to make, am so annoyed with myself but can't dwell on it. It's money I wouldn't have had and wouldn't miss particularly if I frittered it away but still sooooooo annoying.

Working tomorrow and then having a couple of days off while I wait for withdrawals to come through. Will still make money this week so it's not all doom and gloom.

I can understand why you're annoyed with yourself, Frouby. At least you have made some money this week. I am just about to look. At the last look, I seemed to be missing a lot, but we will see. I am fortified by gin.

Littledog - have been reading this thread for a while but not posted before but felt that I really had to reply to you. I am a recovering alcoholic - early days, only six months AF but it is a start.

So much of what you wrote is a mirror of my own story and I really want to urge you to not take a drink. The morning drinking and anxiety is a definite sign of alcoholism and once it takes hold abstinence is the only answer. I know it is not what you want to hear and I sound a bit preachy (very preachy) but I think you should attend a few AA meetings or listen to some AA shares on Youtube. You will hear over and over again about people in your position who have tried to drink in moderation - it doesn't work. Believe me I have tried.

Sorry that this is not what you want to hear but please at least consider what I have said.

Sorry to hear that Frouby, gutting. Sorry to hear Ds is poorly too, hope he shakes it off.

Have been at school parents' quiz. Was fun actually- they're a nice crowd, and there was homemade curry to rival Frouby's, and byo wine. They're a boozy brunch actually, I felt quite moderate with my half bottle. I was late arriving though as had to go to a meeting about dd1's brownies camp. It sounds really fun but she'll be out of contact for two whole nights. Am starting to get nervous- she's only 7. Have any of yours been away on anything similar?

We are skiving off school tomorrow to do the climate strike again. Going to take her to the museum of London after, to learn about suffragettes and other protests. Will take her to school for an hour or two though while I sneak in a quick outdoor swim. I have no work or kids on a normal term time Friday as dd2 has forest school during school hours, which is innovation of the year, but am quite enjoying my monthly strike with dd1. She's at her best 1:1. In all other circumstances she's battling for attention in a kind of exhausting way.

Longest, I find mine are a whole lot nicer and more receptive 1:1. Remind me what the age gap is between yours?

I had thoughts, years ago, of giving my DC the day off school on their birthdays so I could do something nice with them. These were the days when I contemplated home educating at least one of them. Thank God I didn't.

My heart goes out to your little one and her Brownie camp. It's so hard to say what will work for them. My PFB, who refused even to host a sleepover as a younger child, never mind attend one, finally went on a school residential when he was in Y8 (you would not believe the faff involved in this. It involved a diagram of the dormitories, proximity of teachers, promises that I would drive 100 miles to collect him at any moment, etc). He then signed up for another one in Y10, and chickened out on the day (after massive stress and expense). But has just returned from another one which sounds completely hellish to me, but he said it was the best thing ever (now Y12). Whereas DC2 has been doing overnighters since she was about 4, and took herself off to Morocco aged 12 on an adventure holiday with a bunch of people she'd never previously met. This involved catching coaches and trains and generally trusting that all would be well. Needless to say, I felt sad and redundant.

One way or another, my DC baffle me, as I would probably be somewhere in between them.

DoyouthinkIcare Thanks. I have severe doubts that I can control it although I did once. I quit drinking totally when pregnant with dd and promised myself that after she was born I would only ever drink lager - 4% lager. I actually stuck to that for 7 years then stupidly as I gained a bit of weight I would switch to wine. It all went wrong after that. I won’t make any hasty decisions.

My kids are better 1:1 too. They tag team in the evenings now. Before 9 DS2 gets my attention, after 9 DS1 emerges.

I did not want to get out of bed this morning. My couple of drinks with not very boozy friend turned into a bottle of Prosecco each. It was lovely actually. I’ll be AF tonight I think.

Dionysa, 4 years, which is not how I would have necessarily planned things but dd2 took her sweet time. Dd1 got her taste for adored only child I think, and having a sibling came as a bit of a shock!

Wow re Morocco at 12, fab! And glad DD liked his trip in the end. Brownie camp is not too far away but doesn't start till 7pn so I think she's committed to the first night at least once age gets there. It did sound ace though, with archery and zip lines and a camp fire and an outdoor cinema in a hut in the woods which they'll go to in their onesies and blankets. As you know this is the kind of thing that makes my heart swell, though what possesses people to give up their weekends to take other people's kids for free I will never know.

Hi everyone. Not been on this week as I’ve failed miserably and not had even one AF day! Kicking myself because the week has gone quickly, the weekend is here already and I would have felt so much better if I’d managed an AF week - oh well, upwards and onwards ...

Frouby - sorry about your costly mistake. Bummer 😩

Longest - enjoy your day off with DD, it sounds great and very inspiring. Both my DC both did trips away at that sort of age and both loved them. However I’ve got friends who’s kids really struggled. You know your own child. I certainly wouldn’t force the issue at that age but if she’s keen then Im sure it will be a great experience for her, though a bit nerve- wracking for you!

Littledog - I agree with the others that you should try and avoid alcohol. You’ve done the hardest bit, keep going.

Waves to everyone else. Have a great weekend whatever you are all up to.

That does sound ace longest. I’d like to go on a grown ups version of that.
DS1 went to PGL for five days when he was 8, out of contact. He had a great time. Came back exhausted.
DS2 didn’t want to go at that age but happily went in year 6.
Like Dion says, depends on the child.
Morocco at 12 though...that’s impressive!

Yes I told her it was totally up to her and she's decided on balance she's more excited than terrified so wants to go, which I admire! Her other two pals are very hung ho about it. She's worried they may laugh at her teddy. I have reassured her most kids will take one. I hope that's true. She's a bit sensitive about her near as she's only just stopped carrying it absolutely everywhere she goes and she was starting to get some comments.

Gung ho. Bear. Fat fingers!

Please can I join?

My issues with alcohol have been increasing over the past year. Got to drinking at least half a bottle of wine a night and much more at the weekend.

Lots going on (could say excuses)....leaving job of 24 years under horrible circumstances, marriage in tatters.

But now also escalated into weekly massive binge and drinking to point of vomiting and/or passing out.

I have a horrible bug at the moment and did not eat or drink anything on Wednesday or Thursday and still feel awful today....so thinking that this could me my trigger to break habit- although suspect that I am now physically addicted.

Any advise from those how have been through similar - no hand holding on this is RL

Longest she shouldn’t worry about her teddy. My bear’s travelled the world with me. In my 20s I was worried he’d be mistaken for a drugs mule but a quick scan through the X Ray machine and he was good to go.

Welcome Swarskid. We’re a friendly bunch here. All at different stages of our journeys and all works in progress.

Longest - I think it’s quite normal and acceptable to take a teddy at that age (and older).

Hi Swarskid and welcome. Hope you feel better soon. Why don’t you just keep AF for as long as you can and see how it goes - one day at a time.