Roses are red, we like Becks Blue, Tryers to be Dryers push on through. 2019 will be our Valentine.

[Frouby]

Thread 4 for support, tips, tricks and friendship as we reduce our alcohol intake even more. For anyone who wants to reduce, stop, moderate or even just track their drinking.

Absolutely no judgement, just support. Everyone welcome.

Previous threads somewhere but am rubbish at clicky links.

Old tryers and new dryers, welcome to our thread. The one that starts in February and will see us all hit our goals as we move forwards.

I love the idea of sitting on the fuck-it button, Flossie. That makes two of us. I hate Day One. But I know that I can't moderate at the moment, however, much I want to. Unless I am severely hung over, in which case it's relatively easy.

Frouby, I love your posts so much. My DD would be exactly the same - if, that is, I could convince her that D of E is more worthwhile than watching crap on You Tube. FML.

Frouby your post takes me back so vividly to D of E. I remember lying on a massive hill in the torrential rain with that fuck off bag full of school tents made of lead thinking dying of exposure wasn't the worst option on the table. I met now DH on that trip! Dd1 has been invited on a Brownie camp. She's trying to decide what she thinks about it. It's not very far but it's 2 nights and she's only 7. We made friends before bed. She said sorry and admitted she's still upset about school friendship stuff. I gave her a big hug and she said that she doesn't know why but when I hug her it makes her cry more. Poor lamb, I know how she feels really. Life is just a bit pants sometimes.

Ps totally hear you on the weight thing. I think that's why my legs are a mess.

Funny you mention sore legs Longest. My hips and knees have been really aches today. I’m prone to it as I have EDS (hypermobility) but I’ve not moved enough recently. Weight gain + sedentary lifestyle does it for me, I always suffer, but then I’m in pain and don’t want to move.
I get a flare up round my ladies’ week too. My joints go all loose.
It’s fun being 40+ isn’t it?

NC4 - I love the sound of a ‘ladies week’.(not heard it called that before) Conjures up images of sun beds on remote island, dressed in lavish clothes, holding a cocktail glass, and having it filled by completely buff waiters.....

I’m guessing your ladies week isn’t that type of week tho.

As for the hips and knees..I too feel that. I’m sure it’s down to weight. I feel heaps heavier on my feet. As if each footstep is risking putting my foot through the floor. I’d love to walk lightly

In the night it was proper round ligament pain like when I was pregnant. Was properly painful. I haven't had a period for about two years on the Mirena coil which was blissful but it made me so fucking miserable I couldn't cope

Flossie my ladies’ week is a week of adventure sports - rollerblading, jumping out of planes, that kind of thing... isn’t everybody’s?!
My ligaments loosen like they did in pregnancy but that is partly due to my dodgy collagen. I still get a monthly cycle with Mirena, just a day of spotting rather than a full period.
I’m supposed to be working from home but as they are all in bed I’m having a brew in peace.

Hi everyone, I have a lot to catch up on, just back from a few days in the UK with my kids and DP and definitely no moderating catching up with family and friends.
Welcome to all the new tryers, this thread is brilliant.
Although I had a nice time away, DP's apparently-not-ex GF phoned me before we left to tell me he was still seeing her and I also had my hyperactive thyroid confirmed which means anxiety levels are sky high and the worst thing is I can hardly run at all now and running is my drug. I suppose the only good thing is that I can eat what I want even without exercising and not gain weight due to the over active thyroid which is just as well because I'm getting through some serious quantities of chocolate. Hoping to be AF this week, I really need a break after a very few days on holiday.
I can't believe how expensive wine is in the UK!!

Oh crikey anglais. You poor thing. What a rollercoaster time you’ve had!!
Firstly the ex.....what did you say to her?? Is she winding you up or do you think he is indeed still seeing her? God I’m so sorry. What an awful conversation to have to have.
Also the running and the thyroid....have you been told not to run? Is it unsafe? I know running is your drug. And despite being able to eat shed loads of chocolate, that doesn’t help your mental health, whereas running absolutely does. Is there anything you can do to help speed up getting those running shoes back on??
Sending you oodles of love and hugs. X

Oh Anglaise... Flossie says it all so well. Is the ex GF just shit-stirring? Whatever she is doing (and she does sound batshit crazy), you don't need it from her. I'm so sorry about the running, too. If I couldn't exercise, I would find it very. hard to cope.

Otherwise. Might be showing my age here, but ... Woaaaaahhh, Bodyform @NC4Now

Well I've spent 2 days coming down from a really bad weekend and I'm coping ok. Dh is coming home early today but things aren't great between us, I asked him in all seriousness to swap last nights shift (he's been gone since Friday) and he flat out refused. I feel very abandoned, though I'm not allowed to because it's me with the problem. Ds has hugged me and I'm ok with the kids. I'm just not very sure where my relationship with dh stands quite now. I suppose we'll muddle through, we have done for 25 years. It just feels like muddling, not loving. I don't know. Anyway things are improving with the dc, so that's good.

Afternoon all

Anglaise you poor thing, what a shitty few days you have had. Ask dp outright, his reaction will tell you what you need to know. And your thyroid is a cunt as well. Can you swap the running to something less aerobic like weights maybr, sorry not medical at all.

weegie keep posting, we are listening. Unmumsnetty hugs, do you feel a bit more in control now?

Dhs day off not been too bad so far. Sent him to B and M first thing with £50 to spend on 'bits' he wanted for the allotment.

Dh is a 51 year old hairy arsed northern builder. He's got a beer belly and a baldy head on it's way, tattoos up his arms and legs and is, like me, proper northern working class salt of the earth type.

He's bought a fucking windmill from B and M for the allotment. A fucking dinosaur windmill. Fml. He is a fucker for the blingy, tacky shit for the garden from B and M and poundland. After the ladybird cunting windcharm I banned him from anymore shit for the back garden. So now he's started on the allotment. Fml.

He will have twinkly lights, fucking gnomes, dogshaped led lights and dragonfly shit everywhere. Fuck sake.

But the positive is he was out 3 hours with ds and me and dd managed to get the house blitzed. All the skirts and woodwork and radiators cleaned, everything pulled out downstairs and hovered, floors cleaned, upstairs hoovered through and bathrooms blitzed. Oh and stupid kitchen bin recycling unit thing stripped and cleaned too.

Am knackered now though and dd muttering about child labour but I am ignoring her.

Not sure if I will be dry tonight or not. Might need a gin to motivate me to make twatting quiche.

Anglaise I had 'subacute thyroiditis' 2 years ago and nearly lost my fucking mind. The anxiety was terrible. You have meds?

I have to run in a second but seriously frouby can you shed any light on the quiche eating hairy arse builder situation? Perhaps I'm all out of touch and that, but it doesn't sound like a natural fit.

Ah, Frouby. I have not forgiven XH for doing away with our Gnome with Wheelbarrow, which we inherited with our old house. You can't beat a bit of garden bling, though a windmill would, it's true, take some beating.

My DD is in a strop because she took my coat to school and I was fed up with her. This is obviously my fault.

Weegie, I'm glad that you are ok with your DC now - but it sounds as if you are having a very hard time otherwise. Long relationships are complex, even if they're relatively okay. I was with XH for over 20 years, and layers of resentment/problems/cracks sort of papered over are very difficult to unscramble.

Frouby I’m
Seriously Pmsl at the garden tack!! 😂😂

Ah thanks everyone...the funny thing is his ex phoned when I was in hospital waiting to see the specialist. It was Valentine's Day, probably the most memorable one ever, just not for the right reasons!
Flossie I haven't been told not to run, but it is so difficult now because my heart rate is high, breathing is difficult and so oxygen doesn't get to the muscles and everything hurts a lot more. It will get better with the treatment.
Dion Frouby the ex GF was lovely in fact, he has been seeing her, although rarely as he has been at mine every night except 2 this year but he can't tell her to get lost. He loves us both, although he could never live with her. DP engineered the telephone call as he kept cancelling seeing her and she got fed up with it so called me to find out what was going on. He is to blame 100% even if she is a bit of a case in some respects. He has never finished with me, but has with her several times. She just won't accept no as an answer. Men are weak bastards!
I just don't need all of this at the moment, but I have no intention of turning to wine.
I'm going to make a twatting quiche this evening too Frouby

Leaving Aq how long did your hyper stage last? I start meds tomorrow after another scan of the thyroid. What did you take? One of my friends ended up with hepititis after taking levothyroxine to treat it.

leaving am fucked if I know. When I first met him he was as edgy urban as you could get. He was a pill popping, rave going, ibiza bound dance scene monster. This was 20+ years ago. He used to give me Es in clubs, and if he didn't have any he could always find some. This was when we were fwb.

Didn't see him for 10 years, I had a baby and left a nasty, abusive relationship then found him outside a kebab shop one night.

Been together properly for 13 years now, got married last year and have a 5 year old ds as well as him being the best dad to dd all these years.

But he is more dizzy fucker these days than dizzy rascal. Love the bones of him but not his design ideas. I manage to rule the house and refuse all kinds of blingy shit. He then started on the back garden when I was pg and couldn't do much. I used to have tasteful colour schemes, dramatic lillies and the odd climber for interest. Now I have an alan titchmarsh acid trip. So I put a stop to more bling last year and he's started on the allotment.

He loves a good quiche though. It helps we have chickens so always have a billionty eggs knocking around so it's a cheap tea. .

Persuaded him as he's off we should go out for tea though, so quiche making put off again for another day. Fucking winning at life me. Plus I am definetly not dry if we are going to the pub.

Enjoy frouby!!

Anglais - god you poor thing. So how have you Left things with dp?

Gosh lots to catch up on. Anglaise that sounds totally rubbish. I hope the treatment kicks in quickly and you can get back to your running. And that you can sort things out with dp, though I have to say he seems to have been messing you around more than I would like.

Weedgie, I am glad things are better with DC. Sending hugs for the DH situation.

Frouby, lol at the blingy allotment! My garden is more of a scrap heap really, perhaps I should jazz it up.

NC4, Dion, thanks for the sympathy re crappy ligaments. I have stocked up on drugs and steak.

Better day today. Have been at work, sorting out fish, which is a darn sight easier than half term, but DD seems on better form anyway. Working tomorrow too then have a couple of days off.

Hello everyone, I’ve had wine every night the last week as I've been away so was out for dinner on Sunday, Monday with one friend, out oh Tuesday and Wednesday with others, then out on Thursday, (with Dh For valentines) then away with dh on Friday and Saturday in gorgeous hotel so drank and had a brilliant time. Cooked at home for the first time in ages on Sunday and drank wine. And drank last night and tonight. And have friends staying tomorrow so will drink then.

But it has mainly been a bottle a night and maybe a cocktail which is moderating for me. But I feel good about it last night, Im almost looking forward to no social events and being AF next week.

Will read the thread now. My app says 6 AF days in Feb which isnt great.

I didn't feel good about it last night that should say

Oh Anglaise im sorry about not running and fucking ex GF 💐

Frouby, pmsl at twinkly shit garden, ha ha ha ha

Sympathy to everyone with teenagers. My dd is lovely atm though, phew.

Dionysa, :fist bump: on the shagging. We had more sex in 2 days away than we've had in the whole of January, ‘twas fabulous