Less wets, more dry, sometimes damp. We are tryers to be dryers. Thread 3!

[Frouby]

New thread for those wanting to reduce alcohol. Always supportive and friendly. No judgements, just support to get to where we feel comfortable with our relationship with alcohol. All welcome.

Am a bit rubbish with clicky links but there are previous threads.

Welcome Cheesetoast and cheesephone how are you doing this week?
Frouby I hope your Aunt is feeling better will be home very soon
Dion I hope your DD is better, DS has been ill too, normal back to school cold and with the changesin temperature at night.
Flossie hope your cold has disappeared.
I wasn't AF in the week, shared a half bottle of wine with DP (I guess he is that now rather than just Forest Man) on Wed and Thurs evening so only 5 units plus 2 last night. No desire for any more.
Friend's birthday party tonight but I will be driving and I have a duathlon race (running 8km and cycling 26 km) tomorrow so want to be on form for that.
I hope everyone has a good (and moderate!) weekend

I only managed 2 AF days (was hoping to do 3 this week). Had wine on Thurs and Fri but not a whole bottle on either night. 7/10!! I need something that is a treat in the evening (without calories!) to replace my wine fix... I stayed at the gym late on Thursday, felt great when I got home, but so great I decided to open some wine :(

Just thinking about your Auntie, Frouby, and hoping she is making progress.

Wet last night. Sigh.

Anglaise, I'm very excited to hear that FM has been promoted to DP!!

Cheesephone, 2 AF days is miles better than none (which is precisely what I have managed this week - though I have at least done some moderating, though not last night!)

Thanks Dion, she is doing fantastically! Discharged from hospital friday. Have been and picked her up to come for sunday lunch today. She is still obviously not 100% but enjoyed her lunch and pudding, and took leftovers home, which she normally does so she is feeling more like herself.

Am dry today. Managed to do lunch for 7 adults, a teen and ds, including 2 vegetarians, 2 different types of meat, a homemade cauliflower cheese and made from scratch gravy without falling into a bucket of wine. Even though I opened a bottle earlier for the gravy! Burnt my finger on the twatting yorkshire pudding tin though and it's throbbing like a bitch. Ouch.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. Have had a bottle of wine and 3 cans of lager all weekend which isn't too horrendous.

Have a very busy week so am aiming for dry for most of the week. Have a fuckton of stuff to get done.

I've decided to go sober for October. My drinking is getting ridiculous. Hopefully I'll do it, save money and lose weight!

Hello. Can I hop in?

I’m finding I’m drinking too regularly and am not feeling good about it. It affects my sleep and generally leaves me feeling awful. Even two glasses of wine.

I’m taking the challenge of sober October. But am not getting sponsorship or anything. Just doing it for me. Apart from the 18th when I’m booked onto a fully paid for by work wine tasting. Will have to be careful here. Just little sips....

Ds is one and he has started waking early. Today has been a struggle. Dh and I went out for dinner last night had a couple of g&t s and half a bottle of prosecco. Which was excessive but it was in celebration of my birthday this week coming.

I felt horrendous all day. Exhausted and fuzzy. Not cool with a crawling noisy ninja of a child.

We are staying with dparents at present - bridging the gap between house moves. They are a couple of wines a night people which is fine but it does me no good.

So. Sober (ish) October begins.

Frouby, I am so glad to hear this. Just checked in to see if there was news! I am also v impressed that you have not fallen into a vat of wine. I have had to stop making risotto because it involves wine, and the temptation is just too much. That said, today is a write-off anyway. Too much horrible stuff going on. And I know it's a bad idea because, like you, I have a fuckton of stuff to get done, including being at work tomorrow at 8, which means hair-washing, on top of getting DD to school. Though she says she can't possibly go to school tomorrow as she has been in bed with period pain all day. She's going, even if she has to spend the day in the sick-room.

frouby that was serious will power!

I'm dry today. Had two yesterday out for lunch, mainly as hungover from wet Friday. Think I was dry Sunday to weds, so not too bad.

Cotton, never mind 'not bad' - that sounds amazing to me...

I just wanted to check in and say hello. I'm not totally off the wagon, just been overly engaged with life, travel, work, etc. and haven't been able to read or post much. So...
Huzzah for all the successes and good happenings! Boo for all the difficulties and trying times. You all are working so hard.

Dh and I are trying to be mostly dry during the week, though last week was my birthday, so very little moderation there.

Chin up, ladies! Keep being strong as you're able but gentle on yourselves when needed.

Welcome emem great news about your Aunt Frouby and Dion I hope you get DD off to school without a problem.
I had a damp weekend, probably consumed just over a bottle of wine in total so over my 10 unit per week limit but all of the drinking was done socially and I didn't have over 4 units in any one evening so I think that is moderating.
Did my duathlon (running and cycling) yesterday and really enjoyed it, especially the cycling which isn't my main sport. Managed 13 out of 44 women and as I was one of the oldest at 53 and I have a crappy 300€ bike compared to most of the regular triathletes with their super 3000k € bikes I'm very happy

Just come across this thread from the main active board. I went completely AF from mid Jan this year, the first month was ridiculously hard but the benefits have been amazing.

Please don't try to stop drinking or moderate with willpower alone. There are various books that can really help. Look up This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray and have also been recommended Kick The Drink Easily by Jason Vale (but not read that one). I'm not much of a reader but listened to these as audio books whilst driving to/from work, doing jobs around the house etc.

Good luck to you all x

starfish thanks for the advice. Super useful.

I’ve downloaded an app to my phone (drinkaware I think) and I’m travking it this way.

I’ve already started prepping myself by trying to be healthier - so more water, better food etc more sleep. So the alcohol which is just a “nice to have” for me isn’t needed.

My issue is that my dparents think being sober is silly. And always question why.

I’m at dr this morning and am tempted to tell them that she’s said no booze because it will react with my meds. They’re more likely to believe this.

For me it’s not me as such. It’s more other people. But then that is my mindset. Need to get to the “I don’t care what you think about me not drinking I’m not boring” stage.

My in laws are terrible for this and literally can't believe I don't drink anymore. 'Urr, are you going to become vegan next?!'

It the early days I found it so hard going to bed earlier helped me, it will be much easier when you're over the worst cravings.

I'd also suggest getting an alternative 'special drink', so when you would have had a wine/other drink, have that instead. I've tried AF beers, Fevertree tonic waters, Belvoir posh cordial with sparkling water. The only thing I avoided was drinking none alcoholic wine, I really wanted to break the cycle of drinking wine out of a wine glass.

I was at said in laws for lunch yesterday and took around my own bottle of Fevertree tonic water. Much easier than watching everyone else on wine and me on tap water!

TO be fair I think my parents would cope better if I did become vegan. Less shameful! Haha.

Tonic waters a good shout actually. I can’t stand non alcoholic wine. Far too sweet for my liking.

Welcome, ememem. That's extra hard, if your parents are unhelpful.

In a hurry, but thanks for the suggestions, Starfish. I have read them, but the thing I've found most helpful is the hypnotherapy recordings. That said, I'm deliberately not trying very hard at the moment because I have too many horrendous things going on.

In some ways, it would be easier to be AF than to moderate. But I want to get back to having a 'normal' relationship with alcohol. I was teetotal for years, and I don't think that was necessarily a healthy relationship with alcohol; it was based entirely on a fear of vomiting (the same phobia that made me anorexic). I now have a normal relationship with food, and would like the same with alcohol.

AF thus far as I have to drive to collect DD, but will be having wine when I get back.

Ha ha ha at 'are you going to become vegan' 😂

Hello everyone. Had very drunken weekend with family events and have been out for dinner several times in past few weeks oops.

Have been partly AF in the week, probably managing 3/4 nights a week AF. Have not been AF when I know I'm working at home the next day. So definitely not as AF as I should have been. Didn't drink yesterday though and am not drinking today.

Frouby, fingers crossed for your aunt

Flossie, sorry things are shitty

Anglaise, woo Hoo re DP / FM 🙂

Welcome to new people

Dionysa, sorry to hear of horrible stuff going on too.

Day one. Alcohol free. Yippee.

Thank you, water.

Day One, yet again. Have had alcohol free G&T (2 cans) and a Purdey's vitamin juice thing. I now feel bloated and very tired. Ugh.

How is everything going, Frouby?

Balls. I’m back to day zero. But it’s my birthday. I had half a glass of wine. My instinctive “its my birthday I’ll have a wine” for the better of me.

Omg half a glass of wine on your birthday, I’d say that’s serious moderation!! Happy birthday 🎂

Starfish - fever tree tonic is a definite contender for me when I’m seriously trying to be AF.

Not af here AGAIN tonight. Fml over and over and over some more

Everything is fine Dion. Auntie very down emotionally though. Think the shock of the diagnosis and then the op happening had taken her mind off the fact that she has cancer and the op has happened it's hit her hard.

But physically she is coping well.

Af not going well this week. 3/4 of a bottle of wine on Monday. 3 cans of lager yesterday. Sigh.

But in my defence early, 5am starts for work aren't happening this week so it's a good enough excuse. Next week will hopefully be back up plugging away but it's a quiet time atm. So making the most of it.

Am mega busy with the house and other things though. Got a decorator coming in the 20th and 21st of October so have to get all downstairs ready for him. Deep cleaning joy 😂😂

Dry since the beginning of May. Had previously been drinking at least a bottle of wine most nights. So here's a bit of a motivational tale for anyone who is struggling.

I had DS in the summer of 2015 and didn't drink during pregnancy or until he was a few months old. I had always been a heavy drinker since I left home for uni in 2002. Once I started drinking again after he was born, my drinking got progressively worse. I'd tried moderating (I can't!) switching drinks, sober months here and there dry Jan, sober October etc which made me feel virtuous for 5 minutes...til I picked up again and was right back where I started.
I'd never felt guilty about my drinking per se before DS, apart from the silly things I'd do/say when drunk. But there I was, trapped in this cycle of guilt-drink-feel better-blackout-hangover-guilt. I had rosacea, I was fat and puffy and felt like shite all the time.

So in May, I decided I wasn't going to drink anymore. I went to AA (which gave me something to do in the beginning) read loads of books written by other women who stopped drinking. I switched over to having tonic water and lime at night when I'd normally have wine. It's been easy for me because I made the decision that, for now, I am not going to drink anymore- All or nothing. The mindset change to "I don't do that anymore" has been amazing. And now all I see is benefits. So, after five months these are:

• I'm a more present and patient parent
• I can eat whatever I want and have gone from a size 14 to a size 10 JUST BY NOT DRINKING ALCOHOL. Because I am not ploughing through empty calories in wine, and the associated shitty eating when hungover. It's falling off my middle, saddlebags, thighs.
• My rosacea has all but vanished
• I GLOW to the point where people keep asking me if I've had botox (I haven't) I mean, I look much prettier now in my mid 30s than I did in my 20s...hello cheekbones and twinkly white eyes!
• I have long, strong nails for the first time in my life
• My (once horrendous) anxiety and depression is virtually nil
• I am productive, my house looks amazing because I have energy and interest in keeping it up
• My relationships are better
• I have much more money now. The simple act of not buying alcohol has given me £40 a week (more on weeks where I would have gone out and drank)

When I look at this list, I know that I wouldn't want to swap any of that for a glass of wine. I don't go to AA anymore because I don't need to.