Less booze. More AF days. But still a bit damp. Not dry jan, but not a soggy summer. Support thread for reducing alcohol.

[Frouby]

New thread in case the other fills up while I am busy this weekend.

Did I mention I get married tomorrow? 😁

Rubbish at clicky links but sure someone clever will be along to link the last thread.

This is a support thread for those wanting to reduce the amount you drink. There is no judgement on here. We are all struggling along with our own problems and lives and looking to cut down. You might only want a couple of weekends off. Or reduce the amount of days you drink. Or the amount you drink. Or both.

Whatever your starting point and whatever your goal come and join us for friendly chat and support.

Frouby well done on your evening out, that is moderating!
Still water (a carafe of tap water) in France is free so everyone has that and maybe a glass of wine or a beer, but rarely anything more, it keeps the cost of lunch down!

Woosey brilliant moderating!!!

Day 3 was a fail. No excuse, other than I had worked for 10 hours, I was dying of heat, had monster period pain, DD was being unspeakable (the fact I couldn't drop work at lunchtime and take her swimming meant I was SO SELFISH and ONLY EVER THINK ABOUT MYSELF) and I had 2/3 bottle of wine in the freezer (put there when feeling virtuous) which defrosted remarkably quickly. I really didn't want to, and am now very fed up with myself. Eventually I hope the fed upness outweighs everything else. I didn't even really enjoy it that much.

Frouby, it sounds as if your moderating is going well too!

Anglaise, the cost is yet another reason to drink less...!

I had lunch with an ex who is a good friend now, he is on a dating site and said that he can tell immediately which women are drinkers - once you get to 50 it really starts to tell in your face when you drink too much. That was another reason why I cut down! When I was in my thirties and forties there was never much difference but once you get older the changes in your face aren't nice when you drink too much.

Well ladies, after 5 days of good AF it’s all gone wrong today👎 Tried to be organised and went and got 4 cans of ready made G&T as a treat for this evening but to be honest I knew it was too good to be true!!
Went to pub with hubby half a lager and a large glass of wine - the plan was to come home and have the 4 G&Ts but now I have the taste for wine so 2 more beers and a bottle of wine from the shop ready to be opened!! I’m afraid I’ve proven to myself it’s all or nothing👎 Anybody else have this problem?

Half a large glass of wine tonight and that’s it!!!!!

I finished my bottle of wine last night, just over half a bottle. Enjoyed it very much but stopped at that. And I had an amazing sleep too, bang out for 10pm and didn't wake until 7am.

Well done woosey. And 2 days is 2 days more than I can manage atm Dion. Though am planning AF tonight.

Flo 5 days is fab though so don't be too hard on yourself. It's hard once you get that wine buzz going to switch.

Firstly woosey- you can freeze wine! Who knew😬
Flo you sound like me (many) and you’ve had a really good week so as Frouby says don’t be down! I concentrate on improving on improvements and that’s doing me good. In June my aim was more dry nights than wet and I managed by one day😬. My July aim was 2rd dry and 1rd wet and I’m sure I’ve got that in the bag and will end the month with 24 dry and 7 wet. I plot them in a calendar - I get lovely hearts and fireworks on a dry night and skulls and bombs on wet and strangely that has been so satisfying to look back and see my fireworks increase. Anyway August aim will be 1 day a week wet max then September the Angelaise way so instead of my normal wet day being a bottle of wine, well I’m down to 2/3, I will try to have the 10 units max over the week. At the moment I’ve also been cutting back slowly on my wet days so whereas they used to involve larger wine and spirits I’m down to wine only and not as much. I’ve tried for years and years to reduce and this overall improvement on improvement has been the most motivational and useful way of doing things for me. Targets that are attainable - although if you had asked me in May if 2 glasses a week were attainable I’d have laughed my head off and opened a bottle! Hope this helps. Hope you all find your way. Xx

Feeling awful this morning, just embarrassed myself as well by asking my hubby a question which he looked at me weirdly and told me we discussed this last night - I don’t remember it at all😱
I think (I know) I just need to be strong and say no to wine because once I have one glass I know I can’t stop. Definitely AF today.
Thanks guys for your advice and support.

Hi everyone! Can I join? I definitely drink more in the summer. We either tend to enjoy drinks in the garden whilst the paddling pool is out or go to the beach in the evening with some gin. Yesterday was not alcohol free, I had a good few gins... still Monday to Thursday I have work so I will try not to drink tonight and Monday to Wednesday even if I'm stressed out. I let exercise slip to last week, must do better as I think that's the only thing that keeps my weight even.

It is hard to moderate once you have gone over one or two drinks. Your willpower evaporates quickly! I couldn't do it, so I never go over 3 units (around 250ml) of wine. Its sad but I even measure the amount before drinking to make sure.

Anglaise, you couldn't have put it better. Unit counting is the best way, but only if you know you are strong enough to stop. My off-switch is pretty much non-existent.

I have just had my first large gin despite having got through dinner and the evening . I had a very long drive back from my parents' house, and just wanted a drink. So I had one. But I am not going to have another.

Went out with DP yesterday, so that was another sodden evening.

Flo, don't be hard on yourself. 5 days is an immense success - though I do get it, as I feel like that after caving in even after one day. But you have done so well. I know just what you mean about conversations you don't remember having. I know I hate that, and that it has happened too often.

Actually, it's interesting how we all have our targets. I am not sure what mine is. I get cross with myself for not being AF - but AF isn't really what I want. I want to be able to have one nice glass of something, and then not think any more about it. It seems I can no longer do that, though.

Speaking of moderation, Frouby... And a good night's sleep, too!!

Downstairs, of course you can join. It's worth RTFT, as you will see that we are all at various stages of this... I do think summer makes it even harder, as it's so tempting to have nice long evenings outside with a glass of something...

Dion congrats on moderating. One gin is deffo self control I’d say. Especially after a long drive.

Downstairs - welcome. We are all here to help reach our own personal targets and to pick each other up along the way.

Flo - don’t be too hard on yourself. I’ve done that many a time!! Dh has mentioned a moment from the evening before and I’ve had to go along with it as have absolutely no recollection of the actual event. Hate myself for it every time. That’s why we are all here. To help each other stay strong.

Well feeling so bloody emotional here. Just so low. Obviously dd is mega poorly. It’s tough. It’s endurance!! I adore her and hate seeing her struggle. And in this process I’m falling by the wayside. I look like shit. I’ve put on weight and have totally lost my confidence. Dh and I used to have date night each week. Ds would babysit. Unfortunately dd is now too poorly to leave. Dh works long hours and then rewards himself with golf in the evenings and on a Sunday. Or he goes on a bike ride. I however barely get out. The occasional, and I mean occasional Zumba class (not been for 3 weeks) or a v short run (not been for a week). I hate myself and feel totally lost.
On the wkend dh was lazing around on sofa. He said he’d had a hard week. I asked him to sit with me while I cooked dinner. He snapped and swore at me and said he’d rather lie on the sofa and how dare I make him feel guilty for relaxing when I get all week to relax!! I wasn’t asking him to cook the bloody dinner!! Just keep me company!! I feel so bottom of the pile. Ds makes me feel shit constantly since home from uni and dh obviously thinks I’m shit too!! Simply sees me as housekeeper and live in nurse. I’m so bloody exhausted and feel totally worthless. All I want is to few respect.
FML OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN

Oh Woosey. xxxxx There is nothing I can usefully say. Mothers do invariably end up at the bottom of the pile (long story, but it was partly responsible for the collapse of my marriage - not that this is the case with you, obvs!)

Had come on here to ask if anyone was around, but your problems eclipse mine. Suffice it to say that DP has upset me and I am soaking wet.

I GIVE UP.

Someone, please. My heart is hurting.

Dion are you OK? What happened with DP? (((massive hugs))) I hope you are OK...

Hey lovely. Dion I’m here. What’s happened lovely??

Ahh dion* hugs lovely, lovely lady. What's he done now? Want me to find him and bash him?

Hugs too woosey ( wont let me bold sorry) poor you and poor dd. What are the doctors saying?

Not at all ok, but thank you. Please bash him, Frouby. And Woosey is worse off than I am. Short version is that DP has gone swanning off to an event which I can't name as sodding outing. I went with him a couple of years ago, and would kill to go again. However, he has taken one of his DC as his 'plus one' (bcs I don't exist) and has sent several texts to say what a wonderful time they are having. He has at least left me with instructions to deal with his dishwasher. Indescribable pain.

Oh Dion. That really does sound totally shit!! Does he actually know the pain he causes you? Does he realise what he’s doing? Or is he so thick skinned that he’s oblivious? I really wish I could send you strength. Love is soooooo tough sometimes but it should be so easy.
Sending you love and hugs. You know we can tell you that you’re better than this but you really need to start believing that yourself too. Just from your messages on here it’s evident what a lovely person you are. You don’t need this shit!! How will things pan out today? Have you a plan?
Thinking of you xx 💐

Evening all

Hope you are feeling a bit better today dion. Tell him how you feel, his reactions will tell you all you need to know.

Dry here tonight. The land at the side of the stables was on fire again earlier today. Ffs. So had to rally up about 3.30pm to make sure ponies safe.

Think the yard owner is losing the plot again. Have known her for 20 odd years. She is my oldest friend and I do love her. But I could bloody throttle her sometimes. She is adamant it's her ex starting the fires. Even though the fire service have said it looks like kids.

She has gone on one ranting and raving, had a go at his parents who live locally, demanded the police go and arrest him etc. She is thriving off the drama and attention of it all.

I just want a quiet life.

Last time she got like this she took an overdose and was in hospital for 3 days then poorly for weeks after. And it sounds selfish but I can't deal with the shit she leaves behind anymore.

So staying sober tonight in case I need to go back up.

Had a lovely time up there this morning too. Ds rode LittleFatPony and dd rode BabyPony again. All of them were superstars and my lovely cousin came with her Gopro camera thing and made me a lovely video of them.

Off for a shower and an early night soon. Am bloody knackered.

Oh frouby what a bloody nightmare!! That’s the last thing you need!! Hope you don’t get a call this eve 💐

Dion - came on to check if you ok??

Morning all

Dion are you OK?

Woke up all bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning. Trawled through 4 hours of paperwork for the business and discovered I actually don't need to do another billionty hours on it as the stuff I was reconciling actually reconciled first time! So thats a bloody relief.

No car today as DHs in garage so he gone to work in mine. Doing some housework then a walk up to the allotment for a couple of hours.

Not sure whether I will be dry or wet yet. I actually enjoyed being dry last night. Bizarrely. That's 2 AF nights in the bag so far this week and I can't say I missed it either night.

But DH will be drinking tonight I suspect which makes it a 1000 times harder. But will stick to G and T.

I know everyone looks fatter on camera but the video my cousin did makes me look like a telly tubby 😂😂. Even my mate commented that I had put 2 stone on on camera. But it's made me a bit concious of my beer belly.

Hi guys, not checked in for a few days still feeling embarrassed about my Saturday evening episode!!! Hubby laughing at me, I’m trying to laugh too but really not finding it funny😕
Ladies after reading your last posts we do seem to get the short straw in the family and no wonder we get the call from alcohol to make us feel better, chilled, relaxed......
Hope everyone has had a better day, I’ve just opened a bottle of prosecco just because I can!!! It was brought round on Monday as a gift and has been shouting at me ever since, so tonight unfortunately I listened 👎