Less booze. More AF days. But still a bit damp. Not dry jan, but not a soggy summer. Support thread for reducing alcohol.

[Frouby]

New thread in case the other fills up while I am busy this weekend.

Did I mention I get married tomorrow? 😁

Rubbish at clicky links but sure someone clever will be along to link the last thread.

This is a support thread for those wanting to reduce the amount you drink. There is no judgement on here. We are all struggling along with our own problems and lives and looking to cut down. You might only want a couple of weekends off. Or reduce the amount of days you drink. Or the amount you drink. Or both.

Whatever your starting point and whatever your goal come and join us for friendly chat and support.

Thank you, all, and especially to Woosey, who has very much better things to worry about than me.

Frouby, so sorry to read about the ponies. 2/3 dry nights is very good. I have not managed that, despite all my intentions.

I can't say much as I am too miserable. But wanted to check in (not dry).

Flo, I would have listened, too.

Dion, I’m glad you have checked in (damp, wet or dry) xx

Frouby you are doing really well. You must be really proud. It’s horrid when something forces you to sit up and look at yourself tho. The guild is awful. But believe in yourself and know you can do it.

Flo - I totally would’ve listened too. Every time you open that fridge, it winks at you!!

Dion - hey lovely. Come on. We are here for you. Don’t hold back. Know we are here to listen and hand hold. We all have shit going on but it’s all relative. Sending mahoosive hugs to you. Stand tall darling xx

Well I’m soaking bloody wet too. Just finished the bottle of the Pinot bottle....again!! Dd has a major hospital app on Friday that will tell us some answers. Got a 6hr journey to get to London for the appointment. We leave tomorrow to break up the journey. Apprehension and nerves are forcing me to knock back the vino. Fuck it button wel and truly pressed!!

Dion We are here for you
Woosey good luck for tomorrow, I have my fingers crossed for you and your daughter
Frouby well done on your moderating this week!
Was it Actually' asking whether moderate drinking or complete abstention was better for you? Lots of articles in today's press following a study which links a substantial increase in dementia to complete abstention and drinking over the recommended limit in middle age, so maybe moderate drinking is the way to go:
www.theguardian.com/society/2018/aug/01/middle-aged-non-drinkers-may-have-higher-risk-of-dementia

Woosey, what a hard time you are having. This is not the moment to worry about being AF. I wonder if you are on your way now? That's an immensely long journey, and I so hope it provides you with some answers. xx

Frouby, what's going on with the ponies?

Anglaise, thank you for being so kind. I also noticed that news report. All the more reason to learn to moderate in the way that I used to. But as I am meeting a friend tonight, it's not going to be tonight. Have done so much work in the past 3 days that it feels like Saturday already.

Good luck for your appointment woosey.

I hope you get some answers and it's positive news.

dion hugs. Keep checking in.

Damp tonight. Half way through my 3rd gin and tonic. Was desperately needed tonight. Been to the ponies, ds was his usual exuberant self. Dd was a moody mary. Sigh.

Been so busy the last couple of days. Good days but exhausting.

Ponies are currently fine. Both had a bath this afternoon. Both really sweet to do. SmallPony has always had a big personality but he seems really happy with ds riding him. And much calmer to deal with too. BabyPony is still a star.

Yard owner and best friend still a pain though. Sigh. I love her to bits but don't know how much more aggro I can take. She is still ranting amd raving on fb.that the fires are caused by her ex.

I need to move yards but it will be messy when I do. I can't face the aggro at the minute and am hoping to get summer out of the way first.

Some pony pictures while they are cleanish should cheer everyone up though!

I love the photos, Frouby. I just wish my DD would extract herself from her phone to do something as nice as look after ponies... Just lovely to see them. Thank you.

Damp here, too. Work is a bugger.

Thinking about you today, Woosey.

(Damp here).

Can I join please? Currently on my 3rd pint of cider justified by it's my birthday. I'm trying to conceive so shouldn't be drinking at all. But after 2 miscarriages and the loss of my dad this year I am struggling. Keep telling myself tomorrow I'll cut down and I can't. 🙈 going to Newcastle tomorrow and Benidorm at the end of the month which of course I'll get pissed. Going to try not have any inbetween though!!

June, yes of course you can! Worth RTFT, as we are all in the same boat, but with very different things going on around the edges.

Marking my place to come back to this thread.
I can’t remember the last day I was alcohol free. Possibly 3.5 weeks ago. And I’ve been on holiday in that time with a shed-load of booze consumed.
I’ve put on so much weight. Am fat, haggard looking, the memory loss is a real concern when i have more than a few - wine, especially. I was practically tee-total until the age of 29 - didn’t like alcohol, had parents with alcohol issues - then had a traumatic relationship which involved an alcoholic (but he was in denial - like myself now?) and I started drinking. And here I am. I’ve googled AA meeting so many times. I want to stop using booze as a crutch to get through my nights. But I don’t know what to replace it with.

@Dionysa thankyou I've found mumsnet to be amazing when there's no-one in real life to talk to. Hopefully I can cut back on the booze 🙈 just have no motivation x

Woosey how was the hospital appointment?
Frouby lovely pony pics they did make me smile!
MrsHass xJune welcome! As Dion says we are all at different points in our relationship with alcohol. I've been moderating for nearly a year, I realised mid August 2017 I couldn't keep drinking wine every evening aged 51 and starting the menopause which made sleeping difficult. So I just cut down to AF in the week and only drinking a max of one bottle of wine over the weekend. I did a lot of running before cutting down, but it is easier running now, in the evenings I replaced wine with swimming and cycling and more running, plus just keeping busy in the 'trigger period'.I don't miss it at all, feel less stressed and never drink when I have a problems.
I have the PR woman for Drinkaware staying in one of my gites this week and she said that the biggest problem drinkers in the UK were men over 45 and women over 35. Those are the demographics they are targeting as fewer and fewer young people drink now.

MrsHass and June, Anglaise says so much that's sensible. It's also particularly interesting to me to see how she has found a strategy that works for her. The more I think about it, the more I think this is the solution. We evidently all want to cut back (at the very least), but if it were that easy, we'd just do it and not think about it.

I have not yet worked out which strategy, if any, will work for me. I don't think being AF during the week would work for me, because I always drink when I go out with DP, and that's a bit of an unknown quantity. If I have any number of AF nights in a row, I then have far too much on the nights that I drink. At the moment, I'm trying daily moderation, but that of course means I'm drinking every night - which is one thing I'd like to get out of. I've wondered about only drinking socially (though that tends to lead to excess), and have wondered about only drinking when I'm at home on my own, if the DC are all away. I've tried having a drink only when I'm stressed/unhappy (the worst possible solution to those things, I realise), and only when I'm happy and relaxed. None of them has been the solution thus far. I'm not sure what my solution will be, but I hope to find it.

I found the same when I was AF 4 or 5 nights a week Dion. I find moderation all week easier than AF. But would love to be like anglaise and AF and moderation.

Welcome June. I think recognising that you might have an issue is the first major step. Hope you find the support useful.

Am not dry today. Or yesterday. But not soaking either. My lovely ndn came round yesterday for a take away and a few drinks. I had 2 lagers and 3 smallish glasses of wine. Then today we have been to a local agricultural/country show. Had 1 bottle of Budweiser and 1 lager so far. Will have a couple of glasses of wine too. It's my lie in tomorrow.

Tomorrow we have friends coming over for a bbq so will be wet. But I have blacksmith coming at 9.30am monday morning so will have to be up and out early so will take it easy. Friend is a pisshead though and likes gin cocktails so need to be careful not to get carried away keeping drinking with her. Planning on at least 2 tonic only g and ts to stay soberish without being a party pooper.

No lie in for me, I'm up at 5.30am tomorrow to run a marathon in duo with a friend (I'm doing the first 22kms). Still damp tonight, enjoying a glass of red but no more. Will have to drink at least 2 litres of water this evening as it is so hot. After will have a barbecue for friends so will probably be damp too, depending on my tummy which is often bad after a fast road race.
Forest man is coming back from the South of France for a few days this week so looking forward to seeing him again, its been 3 weeks and of course having lots of sex hopefully not the bum variety

Ah. Bumsex. I had forgotten about that, Anglaise. But glad Forest Man is returning. I would be looking forward to that, too!

About to have a G&T, despite it being too late to start, really. Will try to make it just the one.

Frouby, I would also like to be like Anglaise. I think my life lacks that kind of structure. Something unexpected always seems to crop up which makes me press the fuck-it button. It can be DP doing something shitty, or just a friend calling in with wine. Anything, really. Had a very large G&T (probably more G than T) last night, but was sober enough to read by the time I went to bed. I do know that I have had some hideous hangovers since I tried having AF nights, and I really, really don't want another one of those.

Woosey, I am thinking of you. I hope your trip to London was okay, and that it has given you some answers.

Hi. Sounds like you’re all having a busy weekend.
Frouby - enjoy the bbq.
Anglais - 22km is amazing. Good luck. Let us know how it goes. Enjoy the wine this pm.
Dion - one large gin is moderation in my book, reagardless how big. My prob is I need to keep topping my glass up..whether I’ve got more g than t, or in fact wine etc. It’s the process of necking whatever’s in the glass!!
I’m exhausted. Didn’t drink too much Thursday and Friday, just damp. Thursday eve I was anxious to stay clear headed for Fridays app. Then Friday night I was soooooo wiped that I could hardly pick the glass up!!
The appointment went really well. It did finally give us some answers but in doing so has also opened a new can of worms. Doesn’t ease our worried regarding dd at all, but just know now we have a great team trying to do their best. We know she won’t get better which is tough, really tough. We got out of the appointment, got into a black cab and dd burst into tears. Sobbing that’s she just wanted to get better. God it’s hard seeing your 9 year old daughter like that 😢
Anyway finally got home last night having stopped at my parents half way Friday eve. We’d been invited to our lovely ndn’s for dinner last night which I can say was EXTREMELY soaking wet!!!!!!!!

Oh Woosey . I can barely bring myself to imagine my DD finding out something like that when she was just 9. I'm glad to hear that you feel she's in good hands, but so very sorry that she's not going to get better. I know there is absolutely nothing I can do, but let me know if you ever think of anything. And wet, damp or dry is the very least of your worries. You must be absolutely exhausted.

Thanks Dion. Yes it’s strange. Kind of odd feeling. She’s still dd. It’s the unpredictability of her condition that scares us. She can be ‘ok’ one minute, then can’t breath the next. It relies on us being on the ball all of the time, ready to medicate. Poor dd just wants to feel safe, as we all do. Sadly we can’t though.
As for wet, damp of dry..I kind of feel worse as just want to be healthy for her. But currently my fuck-it button is well and truly pressed!!
Bottle of pink fizz currently on ice ready for later 😉

Hi, please can I join you? Am on day 12 AF but as a result of being ill with a stomach bug. About to start 8 week blood sugar diet and thinking omg at 8 weeks without wine. But determined to do it!

Have binge read sobriety blogs all weekend. Dh says I look better and my skin tone has definitely gone down a bit but I still have some red veins fgs. Whoever posted about being able to tell the women who drink after 50 - that resonates...

In case that makes me sound like I've cracked it, I def haven't, I probably have only had ten AF days in the past year or so. And it shows. Onwards though!

Wolsey your poor DD it must be so hard for you and her but at least there are some answers and you have a great team looking after you.
Lemon it was me who posted about women over 50 who drink looking like they drink...
My race today want really well despite the heat, we won the marathon duo for women, a trophy, a flower pot thing and 80€ between us. Had one beer after and very small glass of wine with the bbq préparer by dd after then we all went in my pool, a great day with hardly any booze 😉 some photos (a friend Alain accompanied us on the bike for the marathon)

Wahooooo anglais!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!! What a win!!