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Adoption

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Original poster

Im having my baby adopted....is it the right thing to do?

203 replies

changedid · 17/08/2008 21:21

I've just found out that I'm 18 weeks pregnant. I didnt know until now as Im still breastfeeding DD and wasnt having any periods anyway. I also have a DS who is 2.
I know in my heart that I wont be able to cope with another child. I have decided that adoption is my only option. I have spoken to my GP who told me to go away and think and come back next week for a chat to discuss my options. I dont see I have any other option.
Im not sure how other people will react to it though....i will be pregnant and not have a baby at the end of it. How do i explain that to people? My DP is upset but agrees that it is the best thing to do. can anyone understand my position? Will everyone think badly of me?

OP posts:
anniebear · 16/10/2008 21:13

How are things now Changedid?

Have you been back to you GP?

Original poster
changedid · 01/11/2008 14:24

Hi. I just want to thank everyone who has taken the time to post on this thread in the last few weeks. Your words and thoughts have been of great help and comfort to me at a time when I had no one to talk to and I needed a fresh perspective on things.
Lots have things have changed. My depression has lifted somewhat although I'm still on antidepressants and expect to be for a long time. I have received private counselling and now feel in a much better place.
I'll be 30 weeks pregnant this week.
Today we put a deposit on a cot.
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 01/11/2008 14:26

aw how lovely

good luck

Littlefish · 01/11/2008 14:49

Thank you so much for coming back and letting us all know. I read the initial thread but didn't post.

I'm delighted you've had some counselling and that it has helped you to make such a positive decision.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and your new baby.

mamalovesmojitos · 01/11/2008 14:57

the very best of luck changdid

Buda · 01/11/2008 15:03

Best wishes from here too.

Look after yourself.

Pannacotta · 01/11/2008 15:13

Good luck and best wishes changedid, I also read the initital thread but didn't post.

Do post if you need anything for the baby (in case you have got rid of your baby things...)

georgimama · 01/11/2008 15:24

Changedid I so so so glad you have been able to make a decision you are comfortable with. Please keep posting for support, and if there is anything you need for the baby. Good luck. So happy for you. xx

colacubes · 01/11/2008 15:25

I have followed your story on here, but didnt comment, thought was way out of my depth!

I am glad you are in a better place and happy, much luck and love to you and your family.

Kewcumber · 01/11/2008 19:42

Thanks for posting an update changedid. I didn;t post orginally but my DS was adopted and despite the joy I get from him, I beleive for his sake it would be easier for him if his birth mother had been able to get to the place you have.

Good luck and do keep posting if you feel we can be any more help and support. Parenting is a long and often hard journey, any support we can be to each other along the way must be beneficial.

Lotster · 01/11/2008 21:29

Ditto to what Colacubes said, I'm brimming with tears here having read to the end of this thread with my heart in my mouth at what you would decide.. Congratulations on this happy ending / beginning...

You can do it.

squiffy · 01/11/2008 21:49
Smile
hifi · 01/11/2008 21:53

hi changedid, i have an adopted dd. before dd we were shown the profiles of 2 children who had been relinquished, both fell thru as the mothers decided t o keep their children.this is very rare for a child to be voluntarily given up. both mothers found a way like you did, good luck.

SlartyBartFast · 01/11/2008 22:00

don't forget to keep posting for support if needed good luck

roisin · 01/11/2008 22:02

lovely

myaffkin · 03/11/2008 21:03

for your family.

My children are 4.5, nearly 3, and five weeks. The elder two are thrilled with their baby sister. I think yours will be happy too.

Ags · 03/11/2008 21:42

Oh Changed, I am really pleased that things have 'changed' for you and your family. I hope you get all the support and help you need and wish you all good things for your future.

Lilyloo · 03/11/2008 21:50

wow changedid so very glad to see this post and hope it works out for all of you my best wishes to all of you and the new baby

MamaMaiasaura · 03/11/2008 21:58

ditto other posts. Best of luck xxxx

misspollysdolly · 03/11/2008 22:01

So happy to read your post, changedid. I hope and pray that you will all be very happy. Lots of love...

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 03/11/2008 22:09

Thats really good news. All the best.

debzmb62 · 03/11/2008 22:18

ah great post thanks for letting us know my heart was in my outh i must admit and i,ve only just read it ,i have 5 kids and never thought i,d cope but we do somehow !! you are a great mum be strong you can do this !!

macherie · 03/11/2008 22:32

So happy for you

SilverSixpence · 03/11/2008 23:17

How lovely, I was really touched by this. Good luck with everything.

Leighlucky5 · 05/11/2008 18:27

I think that you seem to be doing what you believe is best, for your family and for the new baby. although i can see why you think people may think badly of you, they might think the same had you had an abortion or kept the baby. people that care about you should be able to see what your doing is what you think is best. I was adopted at the age of three and as a 29 year old mum of three myself i completly understand why my birth mother did this and as for my adopted mum, well she would never have had the opportunity to be a mum had i not been adopted. the only thing i would suggest you think about very carefully is what happens in years to come should the child decide, or not, to make contact, and how you and the family can deal with it. In my experience being open and honest with the other children you have and anyone else close to you in very important, as it could be a shock in years to come. whatever you decide i wish you and your family all the best.