Setting up a singles lounge for those of us adopting on our own - come join me!

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I'm a single (wannabe) adopter, with a 5yo birth child, currently wading through the marshes of Stage 1. Are there any other singletons going through the approval process at the moment who would be interested in going through the process together? I'm utterly terrified and ridiculously excited at the same time, but there's no one going through this process with me so I need somewhere to vent or I'll burst! Am I the only one?

Go for it. Go to the training, talk to people (your support network, people on your training, anyone your SW can buddy you with) and read lots.

Quite normal to have doubts and confusion. Best to check things out and see how you feel with all the info.

Hi I'm going through stage 2 at the moment. I've been considering adoption for 10 years so it feels great to have finally made the decision! I'm a bit worried about finances - can't make much sense of the policies - do any of you have this worry too? I have a fairly well paid job but obviously will take adoption leave and then only be able to work part time. Thanks in advance!

Hi @exercise. I know your doing great. 😁

Welcome to all the new joiners. I was worried about going for it and I am still worried. How it will impact my life, work and finances. To be honest I don't think anyone can advise you.i was told wow why would you want to do that after having older children. But, I went through the process anyway. Do what you feel is right. For single parents luckily there is help out there.

Just remember we're all here as a sounding board if you need us!

I'm now in matching stage hoping to be placed soon. So I maybe back soon asking for help @exercise for help at stupid o'clock!

Welcome newbies! I've been wracked with various doubts myself since before starting this whole process, so while I'm not far enough down the line to offer any advice, I can certainly offer a lot of empathy!

Currently my PAR is being finalised and I'm massively obsessing over the matching process instead of focusing on my upcoming approval panel in a little over a week's time! I am TRYING to pace myself, emotionally, but my mind keeps sprinting ahead! If any of you wise experienced adopters can tell me how to CALM DOWN and not burn out before this matching process (which could take years!) is finally completed, I would be most grateful!

How's your PAR folded? And have you had panel yet?

My intros start tomorrow!!!

Hi Adventure! Tomorrow!!! That's sooooo exciting!!! Good luck, I hope it's magical!

My PAR was good in the end, and I had panel today - I'm approved!! Yippee! I'm on cloud 9!

I went to an exchange day straight afterwards (which was emotionally gruelling) and I found one profile which I fell in love with. So it's been an eventful day!

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow! Let us know how it goes!!

Congratulations🎉 What a busy and amazing day.

Folded that's brilliant news! Well done!

Thanks Exercise 😊 How are things going with your LO? Is it too soon to ask if things are settling down?

Good luck today Adventure! Do come back and tell us all about it when you have a moment to yourself!

Morning Everyone.
It seems like we are all moving in the right direction. Good luck to everyone on their journey.

I hope everything is going well for Adventure during intros! Good luck to us all!

Hi all.

We're doing ok, have Def found out groove in many ways, as many people said, time would be the only thing that would improve many things, sleep, eating, etc,
My SW keeps going on about needing to revisit my self care plan 🙄 I have a 16 month old child 24/7 I'm not sure exactly what she thinks I can do! I shower, I eat, we have clean clothes and a semi clean home.

Hi Exercise so glad to hear things are going well. If you make it to the end of a day with both of you still breathing I think that's achievement enough without getting hung up on self-care!

Having said that, I do hope things continue improving to the point where you can let some of your support network give you a quick break every now and again soon!

Thanks for sharing your update with us - you give us all hope!! I hope everyone else with littlies already placed are doing as well as you.

Intros are going well. Very strange to be called Mummy!

Early start again tomorrow but trying to get self care right early on by having a glass of wine and watching a bit of TV:-)

I'm so glad everything is going well Adventure! Congrats again! With the wine and TV you sound like a Mummy Pro already! 🍾

Lovely to find this group. I have made my very first call and waiting for a call back. I am an older single aged 46 so I wouldn't be as interested in a baby but possibly an older child or even siblings? Anyone else single adopted siblings or older children?

Also I don't have any debt and my car, credit cards are all paid off. However at the same time my pension is quiet small and I'm paying madly into it to grow it but it isn't great. Would that be an issue ?

I don't have any family in the UK but I do have friends and I wonder if anyone else on here is in a similar boat?

I'm 2 weeks into adopting a 5 year old. Awake at this time in the morning as just been woken up to adjust their duvet:-)

I wasn't asked about my pension. The only thing slightly retirement related was when my mortgage would be paid off. Finances wise I had to do a breakdown of income verses outgoings for now, whilst on adoption leave and when returning to work (likely at reduced hours as they won't necessarily deal very well with breakfast and after school clubs).

As a single adopter your support network will be very important. My family aren't in the uk but I have lots of local long standing friends. My parents were still spoken to as part of the assessments and a family member flew in to come to the friends and family day.

Have you had your callback yet? And how is everyone else getting on?

Welcome @Munchingtwo. I'm also in my forties but have adopted a one year old.

In regards to finance in my opinion LA's seem to be more flexible. You will need to be able to have a back up plan if you are unable to return to work full time if at all.

As long as you have a good support network, as a single parent your world changes overnights, that will help you out. It will not go against you.

Wow @allgrownup3 a 1 year old. Is this your first child? Must be tricky balancing work, energy levels etc. Even when I've volunteered with children I've always enjoyed working with the slightly older children.
I am especially drawn to siblings but wonder if I'll have the physical resources to meet their needs fully. With another parent there is always another person for the one of the children to engage with.
I hope it has gone well for you both. Best of luck.

@Munchingtwo I have pm'ed you.

Welcome Munching! I'm not in my forties but I can relate to having a tiny pension! I found my LA to be very light touch when it came to the finance check. They basically just wanted an estimate of my monthly income and outgoings, and then looked at one bank statement to verify my income. No mention of pension, and no issues with my lack of savings.

I've been a bit quiet the last few weeks since approval, because I've been on the emotional rollercoaster that is matching! I had an interview for a potential match on Friday, which felt like it went terribly 😭 but I have to wait until next week for the decision.

How is everyone else? All I'm thrilled everything is going so well for you! Exercise how are things going for you? Adventure you're still in the super early days - how are you finding it?! Good luck to everyone slogging through the assessment phase as well!

Any news yet folded?

Going ok here. First independent review done and visits reduced:-) Have introduced my closest friends and their children and they have all gone well, although she did roll her eyes at one of them when he was having a tantrum:-)
Things I'm finding the hardest are interrupted sleep, was woken with a 'mummy' 6 times last night, including once because she couldn't get the clothes back on one of her dolls. Don't think she was really playing but just needs the reassurance that I'm here. And not getting a second to myself, she follows me to the bathroom and isn't happy with me when I'm cooking dinner and have to stop playing.
Hoping to get a friend around for a bit tomorrow so I can make some phone calls without being interrupted but depends on the snow.

Sounds intense but still lovely Adventure. Fingers crossed for some really strong attachment building, over time of course, so she starts to feel more secure.

As for me, it was a yes! Yippee!! I'm so crazy excited!!! The last couple of days have been a flurry of booking in lots of meetings, and if it all goes well DD2 could be home around the end of April - AMAZING!!