Setting up a singles lounge for those of us adopting on our own - come join me!

[FoldedAndUnfoldedAndUnfolding]

I'm a single (wannabe) adopter, with a 5yo birth child, currently wading through the marshes of Stage 1. Are there any other singletons going through the approval process at the moment who would be interested in going through the process together? I'm utterly terrified and ridiculously excited at the same time, but there's no one going through this process with me so I need somewhere to vent or I'll burst! Am I the only one?

Just following as I'm hoping to be a single adopter in a few years time 😊

Hi Girls 🙋

I'm a single prospective adopter... my panel is at the end of this month 🤗

I flit between nesting behaviour and being a bag of nerves multiple times on a daily basis atm! 😂
I also feel like I've distanced myself from my friends and family and have been living in my own little bubble for the past couple of weeks... fortunately my support network is amazing and they all seem to understand my strange "pre-motherhood" behaviour!

The recommendation to the panel is that I be approved to adopt a sibling group of 2 age 0-6 years 👬

I'm a SW myself and when I read my PAR I cried because although the content is positive and is an accurate representation of me it's poorly written/badly worded in parts... so I was soooo disappointed with the "end result" after all the hard work that has gone in to my sessions. 😞

However...
it is such a huge relief to find some other single adopters who can truly empathise with the journey to become an adoptive mummy 😊

Love to you all!
😙

Congratulations Adventure!!

Welcome proud & adultish!
Adultish, is there anyway you could ask your sw to change certain parts of your PAR if you think that would help?
Are you adopting with the same LA/agency you work for?

Hi Flower 👋

No it's a different LA/agency to the one I work for.

I have asked for some areas to be changed where what's written isn't clear and could therefore be misinterpreted, and I've added comments in that put things into context a bit better, all of those have been approved and changed along with some factual errors that were in there! But other than that I'm a bit stuck as "re-wording" isn't really allowed unless the information is incorrect or not clear.

Right now I'm trying to stay positive as the panel members will all have the opportunity to meet me and speak to me in person, and in fairness the PAR does read much better since it's been updated and the content is all positive.

I'm just a bag of worries atm I think and would ideally like everything to be perfect going in to panel! 😂

I've not seen any other PARs though so I don't really know what the standard is across the board. The assessments I write are different and for court so they need to be really well written and evidenced so perhaps I'm comparing my PAR to something that isn't in the same threshold? 😞

I wish I knew the answer to that question but since I don't I've just got to "keep on keepin' on" and think happy thoughts! 🤗🌈

Hi @Folded how are your sessions coming on? Mine are all finished got now.

Hi All! Hi everybody!

My sessions are every couple of weeks until the end of the year. I can’t say there’s been any improvement in the relationship between my SW and I, but I’m keeping my eye on the prize and remembering how I didn’t especially like my consultant when I was pregnant either!

How wonderful that your sessions are over! Have you seen your PAR? If yes, were you happy with it? I’ve been keeping my fingers crossed for your matching process. I hope you’re starting to zero in on the kind of matches that are right for you?

How is everybody else?! Any exciting new developments?! The most exciting thing happening for me right now is promising a huge chunk of cash I don’t really have spare, to a builder who will be sorting out a couple of things in LO’s future bedroom. The money part stings but it’s exciting to imagine a ready-to-bedroom (in place of my current “junk room”!)

Hi all, awake at this rediculous time because today is......matching panel!
Feeling nervous but everyone keeps saying it'll be ok, will update later

Good luck!!!! How exciting.

I've been up for hours too as have visit from potential matches SW on Weds. Off work today to clean the house from top to bottom.

How did it go exercisejunkie ?

Hi! Sorry was walking around in a bit of a cloud 9 daze! They said yes!! It's all now happening really quickly and I'll finish work in less than 2 weeks!

Congrats Exercise! How exciting!! When do intros start?

All how is it going with looking for your own match?

On my side my relationship with my SW hasn’t improved, but I’m having a bit of work done to the 3rd bedroom to get it ready in the next few weeks, which feels exciting!

Hi! Thanks guys!

Intros start on the 13th, placement day will be the 20th!

Congratulations @exercise. I so excited for you. Can't wait for you to give us an update x

This group is getting so exciting.. [smile]@AdventureBegins how did your meeting go today?

Hi. I am starting the process. I am waiting a date for the home visit.

Exercise I’m so excited for yo I keep checking this thread for updates even though you’ve already told us intros start on the 10th!! What are you doing now? Finishing up work? Telling family? Decorating? Dancing around your living room in excitement?!

Adventure how was your meeting?

Sturdy welcome! Great to have you with us! If I may be so bold, what inspired you to start down the single adopter route?

Ha ha folded! Yes I finish work on the 10th, intros start on the 13th, flat is all ready, her room is all done and ready, sorting handover things with work - intros should be ok, I'm still seeing her weekly at present and she's coming to the planning meeting on Monday as the FC can't find childcare, i went today and the FC answered the door and said "mummy is here to see you!

I feel I can provide a loving stable home to a little person or baby.

I have been thinking about this for over a year or longer.

Awwww Exercise that’s so sweet!! What an amazing feeling to have the FC say that!!! The 13th is just round the corner, and just a week later your DD will be home for good! It’s TOO exciting!!!

Sturdy I’ve been thinking about it since I was young as well. Perhaps some people are just meant to adopt? I hope so anyway!

Wow Exercise, how lovely. Did you meet her before panel?

My meeting went well and I'm moving on to meeting everyone with a potential matching panel early Jan. Got to watch a video too. Hoping the Christmas sales start early so I can buy a bed etc with a bit of money off as could be on adoption leave by end of Jan!

@exercisejunkie
I can't wait until your update next week. I'm so excited for you. 👏🏻😁

Hi!

Adventure - yes I had met her and had a few play dates by the time panel rolled around.

All grown up - excitement has reduced and nerves have set in! Intros start Monday!

@exercisejunkie you will be fine. At this stage everyone doubts themselves. Try and enjoy the next two weeks x

Okay, I've been good. I didn't post immediately after the 13th because of course that must be a busy and emotional time. I'm sure it's still a busy and emotional time but I can't wait any longer! Exercise how is it going?!

I've been thinking about you all week, and keeping fingers and toes tightly crossed that everything is going well! Whenever you have time, pretty please come back and tell us EVERYTHING! What was Day 1 of intros like? Have you had a bedtime with LO yet? Or breakfast? Or gone to the park? Did she like her bedroom? Is everything on track for placement on Monday? How are you feeling about it all?

Adventure how is everything going with your potential match? Fingers crossed it's going well? I know pretty much nothing about the matching phase so any experiences you can share would be amazing to hear.

We haven't heard from Adultish in a little while, and I think she was going for approval panel a week or two ago? I hope that went well and she comes back to visit us soon!

As for me, my SW will be meeting my BC for the first time on Monday! Eeeek! I'm actually quite pleased and hoping this will be a positive step. I still don't get on with my SW, but my DD is gorgeous and sweet and funny (biased? Moi?) so I'm hoping she'll win the SW over to our side!