Newbies Part 2

[resipsa]

Hello! I like starting threads - there are sadly too many of mine littered in conception, miscarriage and infertility.

My story? After two miscarriages in 5 months (both following donor egg IVF), my mind and body have had enough and my thoughts are turning to the idea of adoption because I want two children. DD (my and DH's BC) is 3.

We're at the thinking stage but I have registered my interest with my LA and a VA locally. But for DD, I would be pressing ahead at full speed but I worry about the potential negative impact on her. I never worried about how having another BC might affect her and so am unsure if I need to refocus on me and DH - we want another child - rather than concentrate on the sibling issue.

I hope there are others (Mersea, maybe?) in my shoes who will join me here in supporting each other through the process.

And to Italian - I love your story and hope to follow in your shoes!

[CrazyCatLaydee123]

Had our last proper SW meeting before panel on Tuesday. Just got reference interviews to go before paperwork submitted.

We're hosting a Ukrainian child (through Chernobyl Children's Life Line) in a few weeks, which should help us keep our minds off things!

[GodMother78]

Hi italiangreyhound It's going ok had my medical DH has his this week. Bought some of the recommended reading list. Watched a programme series she recommended. We have our preparation classes in July so busy busy

[Italiangreyhound]

Crazycatladee wow, could you link or pm me info on that Chernobyl thing? Sounds amazing.

Godmother hope all goes well.

[ChoccyJules]

Next month will be three years since we went to the info evening. We have been approved over two years. We have a DD and are both white british, one or both of these are apparently the reasons we are forever turned down. Our lives have been changed by the waiting, the ups and downs and dreadful treatment by SWs and I am angry and sad that DD has had to go through it. Vent over. Sorry newbies, I'll crawl back under my rock now

[Italiangreyhound]

Choccyjules I am so sorry that things have taken so long.I really hope and pray things will change.

[Mollybird1]

Oh so sorry to read this. We too have a dd aged 7 and we have been waiting to adopt since last November. I can't imagine what it must feel like to have been waiting as long as you. I'm kind of thinking in my head that I'll give it until I'm 40 (which is next summer), but I know that be easier said than done if we haven't adopted by then. Really do hope you get your LO soon. Xx

[ChoccyJules]

Sorry I came for a rant, basically just found out a SW out of area contacted our SW 4 months ago about a child and she just saw the message.........

[jingscrivenshelpmaboab]

Sorry to hear you're still in limbo ChoccyJules, it's a long hard wait and I hope you hear some good news soon.

[ChoccyJules]

Thanks, gets more out...this should help

[GodMother78]

Social worker just phoned medical advisor said BMI to high needs to be in low 30s. So we have to wait a year then reapply she will phone tomorrow to speak to me. She said not to be put off as we have a lot going for us.
So have get in shape. We can do it just need to remember our goal

[tldr]

Try a different agency - they all have different rules. (Our BMIs were considerably higher than low 30s when we were approved.)

I mean, shape up too, but speak to other agencies.

[MypocketsarelikeNarnia]

Choccy I remember you from the old newbies thread (I nc a lot!). Is it not time for a complaint or even to start with a new agency?



And ((()))

[GodMother78]

Thanks tldr I may do. Our social worker is actually quite nice and it's going to frustrating start again next year.

[PoppyStellar]

godmother I also had a high bmi. SW said she thought it 'could be a problem at panel'. I also have chronic health condition (not weight related) but with lots of meds this is well controlled. Medical was fine. Nobody at either approval or matching panel even mentioned weight. I lost quite a bit of weight once LO arrived - massive shock to the system to have an active toddler when I was used to chilling out with a good book on a comfy sofa! It's great to make the effort to get healthier but if like me you have struggled with weight your whole adult life then it's bloody hard. Just wanted to let you know high bmi in itself shouldn't be a stumbling block to getting approved. I remember crying a good few tears about trying to lose weight and being unsuccessful at it whilst going through the approval process. Turns out it wasn't the stumbling block my lovely (and she honestly was very nice) SW was convinced it would be.

[GodMother78]

Poppystellar thank you for that I will persevere and hopefully it will work out in the end. It also gives us time to get the house and garden in tip top shape