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Chav Gags - Please avoid if you are offended by the word 'chav'

103 replies

NomDePlume · 29/03/2005 11:32

1.What do you call a Chav in a box?

Innit.

2.What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?

Sorted

3 What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?

Safe.

  1. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?

Innuinnit.

  1. Why are Chavs like slinkies?

They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.

  1. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?

The bride.

  1. If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?

It might be your bike.

  1. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?

One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

  1. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?

"What you lookin' at?"

  1. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?

Paint three stripes on it.

  1. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?

The police.

Chav walks into the local job centre, marches straight up to the counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job". The man behind the counter replies "Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The Salary package is £200,000 a year ". The chav says "You're having me on!" The man behind the counter says "Well you started it!"

A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,

"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing"

OP posts:
bossykate · 02/04/2005 22:55

thanks for your message, jasper

dior, i had no idea you were chinchilla! i was posting as serenequeen for quite a while - then decided to change back. all this name changing - very confusing for everybody

jampots · 02/04/2005 23:20

ROFL - thanks NDP

Dior · 03/04/2005 12:17

Message withdrawn

JoolsToo · 03/04/2005 12:55

I wish people would stop name changing - I keep thinking I'm going ga-ga!

I like serenequeen better - sorry!

HappyDaddy · 04/04/2005 12:09

How on earth is the word Chav offensive. Chav's are the people who never want to work and are as thick as sh*t. People who live in council houses or caravans and can't work for whatever reason are not chavs. Chavs choose to be lazy, which is why they are chavs.

Enid · 04/04/2005 12:15

Remind me again why I find you irritating Happy Daddy

lunavix · 04/04/2005 12:19

I don't really understand why chav is so offensive. I'm a 21 year old unmarried mum, from Boscombe, with plans for a hundred odd children, I guess I'm as chav as any And I find them funny

HappyDaddy · 04/04/2005 12:19

Why?

HappyDaddy · 04/04/2005 12:20

Remind me why you have to comment on every post I make, Enid?

Enid · 04/04/2005 12:21

I don't know, you irritate me for some reason. Maybe I secretly fancy you

HappyDaddy · 04/04/2005 12:22

I did wonder.

sweetmonkey · 04/04/2005 12:33

oh dear he we go.........

SoupDragon · 04/04/2005 12:34

fight fight fight fight..

Oh, are we supposed to be diffusing any potential argument rather than egging participants on? I'm sorry...

sweetmonkey · 04/04/2005 12:34

sd LOL

SoupDragon · 04/04/2005 12:37

I'm bored. I could do with a good fight. Might wander off and start a controversial thread in a minute just to liven my day up.

sweetmonkey · 04/04/2005 12:38

just include the name happydaddy and enid in thread and stand bck to watch fireworks!!

SoupDragon · 04/04/2005 12:39

hehehe

mummytosteven · 04/04/2005 12:39

soupy - the charles/camilla wedding same day as pope thread has got endless scope for fights - sex, religion, royalty, media - got it all really

SoupDragon · 04/04/2005 12:40

I was thinking "bottle feeding, Pro-MMR, McDonald's addict, Chav wants to get her Gina Forded baby's belly button pierced - please advise"

Enid · 04/04/2005 12:41

no don't broadcast our secret love to the world

sweetmonkey · 04/04/2005 12:41

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
lol lol lol lol lol lol

stand back......................

kama · 04/04/2005 12:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Louise1980 · 12/04/2005 21:10

sahm?

Im new here n maybe a bit stoopid but what is this?

Great jokes by the way

Louise1980 · 12/04/2005 21:12

Gina Ford?

Newbarnsleygirl · 12/04/2005 21:15

SAHM = Stay at home mum.