Annoying man on train

[Weeeheee]

A couple joined DD(20) and I at our table.

I prefer the aisle seat, so moved to let the man onto the window seat. "You expect ME to sit in there?" I nodded and smiled. He didn't seem happy.

He then joined in with DD and I's crossword clue discussion. He then had the gall to start telling DD the answers to clues he read in the puzzle book that she hadn't even got to.

He wouldn't stop talking at DD, and I was figuring out how to politely tell him to butt out, when his wife/partner said "This is like your dream (to him). I bet he's annoying the heck out of you though. (To me)"

I smiled and said " yes, it is annoying".

I thought that should be enough, but no, the man carried on dominating DDs attention. I sat back, told DD to ask me when she got stuck, and thinking about how to phrase "STFU" when DD said "I thought we were having a lovely time doing this together"

I replied " So did I, but this man won't stop interfering"

He finally got the hint, well his partner did, shoved his own crossword at him, and told him to be quiet.

5 minutes. That's all he could keep quiet for. He just couldn't stop looking at DDs puzzle book, telling her the answers, inserting himself into our conversation.

I asked him directly if he could please stop. Again, 5 minutes of quiet, then leaning over to read the clues, and tell DD the answers. His partner kept telling him to stop, which gave brief respite, but he couldn't help himself getting stuck into our conversation.

We couldn't move away from him, as the train was full. DD didn't want to stop puzzling, so we put up with him, but oh my word!

How on earth would you have dealt with him?

If it's a table for 4, then yes, my partner and I sit diagonally across from each other.

Really?! That's very unusual. But that does explain why you don't understand the other point of views.

It would be boring if we were all the same i suppose. Hopefully the train ride was a blip in an otherwise peaceful life. Luckily, you won't have to see each other again.

I think you're confusing a romantic dinner for 2 with a dinner with friends for 4. When you're out as a pair of 2 couples you do that on purpose to mix up the conversation. Which is not what you wanted here with the crossword.

On the train, next time sit next to your daughter, then you can have your precious aisle seat. And even if you have a table seat, you have some distance in case people on the other side of the table with you are friendly and chatty (like you might expect on a table seat).

If you want zero social interaction then don't get a table seat. Its really not that complicated.

😂

He’s like a toddler wanting to play with someone else’s toy. His wife tried to give him another toy to distract him (she must carry them around in her bag as this happens often) but he wanted the toy someone else was playing with.

At least you only had him for a train journey, imagine living with him!

I don’t really understand the diagonal sitting though. That’s a bit weird. I’ve never seen people travelling together sit diagonally by choice at a table! I book table seats for us as they are better but we sit opposite each other at them. But however you were sitting isn’t really relevant for someone being an irritating mansplainer so that’s just a quirk really.

Trains do get some weird people on board. I remember about 15 years ago sitting on the train and a man came and sat next to me. He didn’t say a word for about three hours. Our train had to stop on the track due to a problem with train in front and we sat there for a while. Then he spoke for the first time and asked if I wanted to come back to his house when we got to the next station!

Yes there is. Very weird of you to sit diagonally.

I hope that’s a joke 🤣

Bizarre. Why on earth would you do that.

I feel like I’m speaking to an alien with strange customs, who has beamed in from her own planet where they all sit diagonally.

Have you ever eaten somewhere like Wagamama? Where you share benches with other diners. Please tell me you also do this weird seating configuration with outer people in places like that. So odd.

Crossword man was rude and you were rude. Both are true but very interesting that you can't admit at all that you might have been. I'd have no problem sitting next to a diagonal configuration like this but I would be incredibly annoyed if they wanted to constantly talk over me.

I actually don't think this is true anyway. The wording of conversations just don't ring true to me. It's a good thread to teach people the etiquette of not talking over people like this though.

I vote YABU for not supplying a diagram.

Reposting this...

Easily the most sensible summary of the craziness I've read on this thread.

And if it’s a small table for two do you just jump across to the next table and shout over?

Or did you just repost it to keep the thread active today when you have nothing new to say?

This is so funny! 😂And strange! Nowt so queer as folk!

I was responding to yet another ridiculous "it's because of how you were seated" post from yesterday and realised i no longer wanted to reply to stupid. So I deleted what I'd typed.

Instead I reposted sensible, as it says my exact thoughts of the ridiculousness of how this thread has evolved.

The man would have done what he did had DD and I been sitting opposite each other, or next to each other.

He was a rude twat who wouldn't stop interfering, despite being asked to twice directly.

And if you are a person who enjoys sitting with compromised legroom/seating by sitting opposite/next to each other on train tables for 4 when no one else is in need of those seats, then you crack on. Me and mine will continue to enjoy the additional space at a table if the quantity of passengers in the carriage permits it to be so.

Although this is a close second for the winning post. A very MN response.

Ok so you’ve made your mind up, despite being told you were both being slightly unreasonable by the majority of posters.

Why bother even asking? You won’t be told, so just let the thread die.

Well you started it with the bloody ‘nodding and smiling’

You don't know what the man would have done in a different seating scenario. It seems quite possible he wouldn't have been annoyed and might have left you to do your puzzle whilst he did his..

I think most people don't think you are unreasonable for thinking the man shouldn't have interfered. Most people do seem to think you were also unreasonable for deciding to sit like this and to still chat across the table, solving puzzles etc and behaving in a way that would annoy most people who were hemmed in to that seat. The reason this thread had descended into something you think is 'ridiculous' is because you refuse to even think about whether your behaviour in this situation was also rude. Not that we think his behaviour was amazing.

You can't believe that he didn't shut up after you made it pretty clear that you didn't want his input. We can't believe that you can't understand that you broke unwritten social norms by the way you behaved despite being told by many may people that you did.

Lol 😂 We haven't considered that weeeheee could be from Mars. Well she's been rumbled now !.

‘The quantity of passengers in the carriage’ didn’t allow it to be so though did it?

The man wasn't annoyed.

He was enjoying the fact a crossword was happening.

He likes crosswords.

This was evidenced by his

1. delight in participating
2. his wife commenting that it was his dream scenario
3. his wife giving him his own crossword saved from a newspaper

How many times does that need to be said?!

He's the sort of man who would have said "so what are you stuck on?" if DD had been doing the crossword silently.

And the sort of man who despite being asked to stop, was told he was annoying and irritating, still continued interfering.

I don't think that's ok. But the MN majority seem to think it is ok due to our seating arrangement and their perceived train "social norms". Bizarre!

I'm happy to go against the majority, as I know the majority aren't always right.

You forced him to sit in a position where he couldn't easily speak with his fellow traveller. I think it's pretty likely the man was annoyed, whether or not you can see it.