To feel like my dating life is over now my hinge account has been banned

[Hakuba]

I got a message from hinge saying my account has been permanently banned for bullying and harassment but I know for a fact I haven’t done any of that. I have had the account for 3 years and never had a report. Now they have decided to permanently ban me with no chance of getting the account back. This has been really depressing for me because it was the way I used to get dates and meet people. What am I supposed to do now?

Hmmm.

So some of my husband's friends have shown and played me long messages from women on dating sites, mostly telling them off for dating to contact them whilst being incompatible or not replying in the ways or time they want them to.

A lot of people think scolding other users is a part of OLD. Are you doing any of that?

Come on OP, you really can’t think of any reason why you might have been banned? If not, then why wouldn’t you appeal?

If you have messed up or they won’t allow you back, just use different apps and try to meet people IRL.

Really? I would find that mildly amusing if someone said that to me.

Ask them why you were banned.
Appeal.

Perhaps someone has complained about you - someone you ditched for example.

Try one of the other dating apps? There are tons

its harassment

No I’ve not been threatening or anything

That question has no relevance in an era where online dating and matchmaking services are prominent. Do you expect OP to go back to the 90s?

...... But they will not be looking for middle-aged women !

Im interested in this - do people only meet new boyfriends/potential partners through dating apps now?

And dating sites are full of eligible single men? Most profiles are married men looking for one time shags

You actually can't unless you want to faff around with a proxy IP, because they ban that too

That's enough to get you banned ???????

Pre t'internet there used to be singles clubs. They tended to attract 30+ crowd. They had discos which were actually really good, plus other meet ups. Two friends found life partners this way. Maybe bring them back? Way more fun than meeting on line. Also, there seems to be a lot of faffing about messaging people before meeting. Meeting in person with a quick chat and a dance is a way quicker way of seeing if you fancy them.

Of course not. There are many who obviously meet people in clubs, events, through work, mutual friends etc. etc. They haven't ceased to exist. I believe the OP is being dramatic by saying her dating life is over but to compare the current dating scenes to pre-internet is also unreasonable.

It absolutely is not.

Yes I think so

Apparently it is!

I'm afraid that's it. You're doomed to be alone forever - best to just accept it and join a nunnery now.

Appeal it. If you were bullying it will be upheld if you're successful you'll get it back.

If you don't get it back could you open a new account with a different email address?

Any incling as to where the ban came from? Did you tell someone to f* off becuase they were rude to you or similar? You must have the slightest idea where this came from?

I think you need to look up the definition of harassment.

Given the number of threads on MN about the problems women have with online dating, then going back to meeting people in real life rather than spending days or weeks messaging before actually meeting up might be a more productive alternative.

And they're all owned by match dot com. They must be minted.

All these dating apps weren't around when I was dating, but I'm curious where do people's app preferences come from?

Surely the pool of men on all of these popular apps will be of the same quality? I'm sure the idiots just after a shag aren't going to be like 'ooh I'm going to stay off Bumble the woman are too frigid there'.

It's probably luck more than anything. People were lucky and maybe talked to a handful of nice people and had a couple of good dates on a certain app that convinces them it's better quality, whilst on another app they happened to talk to a few clowns in quick succession that soured their opinion of the app.

or perhaps i'm talking nonsense. Would be interested on posters thoughts...