School called about my eight-year-old's violent behaviour, what should I do?

[Exhaustedand]

I've just had a phone call from the school to ask me to pick my child up. He's been misbehaving all day - going around and pretending to shoot people, dragging his fingers over his throat in a "slit your throat" gesture and to top it all off, he stabbed another child with a pencil because she was annoying him.

He's eight and has spent the afternoon in isolation because his behavior has been so bad. He's also been excluded from after school club because they don't have the staff there to cope with his behavior.

I genuinely have no idea why or where he's got the gestures from- we don't watch violent stuff and it's something I've never seen any of my immediate family do.

I'm a single mum with another older boy and I'm just at a total loss of what to do next. School are putting a plan into place to give him more support and I'm planning to make an appointment with my GP to discuss things but I don't know how to manage his behavior and to help him. I'm reading the books recommend on my other thread and have been using the things I've learned but I can't see any change on his behavior.

I'd be extremely for any help or advice please!

Agree, this will come back to your ex H. You need to sort this out urgently, it is very abnormal behaviour for such a young kids. At my DS school there was one kid who did this sort of thing. He once told my daughter he wanted to kill her. Roll forward several years and I called the police to arrest a drugged up kid setting fire to a bin. Yep it was him.

Op this isn’t make much sense

this violence is a complete one off and no signs ever before
but
banned from a club
and terrible deterioration in behaviour that has been ongoing since start of the term.

Nothing terrible, mostly not being able to sit still and talking too much!

You said terrible deterioration in behaviour

You

He's been mostly fine at school until this term where his behavior has deteriorated dramatically.

now just talking in class?

My oldest son also complained that the classroom was too noisy so I do think that's a genuine issue.

The other child was calling him stinky, and making fun of his hair colour (he's a proper red head) and how he was doing his work. They also kept taking items from his desk and refusing to give them back.

You never have your children over the weekend?

He's genuinely not. He's not online and is playing Minecraft in creative mode, a cat game and a hairdressing game atm! He's only allowed his tablet in the living room where I can see him, and it's not connected to the wifi.

fgs

your son isn’t with you over the weekends. Why are you SO sure he’s not doing this with his father?

No, not at home at least. Not sure about at his dad's. I absolutely hate football and have nothing to do with it!

You have no idea what is going on every weekend. You need to start communicating with his father and stop being so adamant about what your son is no doing

So now it’s not the teacher’s fault for picking on him, it’s a bullying issue…

Is he stinky OP?

So when you said that this term has seen an appalling deterioration in his behaviour what you mean was talking a bit too much in class?

So your son is being is being too chatty and then complaining the classroom is too loud??

I'd ask the older brother if he has any idea why his brother is using these gestures.

It might not be something online OP when I was about that age there seemed to be a cowboy film on every Saturday afternoon and things like these gestures would appear.

He is 8 years old unless he has been living under a stone he will have seen the throat slitting gesture.It is in very common usage nearly always in a non-literal 'god help me' kind of way.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5581412-to-beg-for-help-or-advice-with-my-8-year-old?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

I think this is helpful to see the bigger picture.

do you smack your children @RomeoRivers ?

Yes, because their dad won't let them use screens at all. He also doesn't have a gaming console. I know they watch tv but genuinely don't have access to other devices while there.

Last year the main issue was him not wanting to sit still and talking too much.

Since moving up a class he's been told off a couple of times for talking to much and being silly before this happened.

The classroom is quite noisy/echoey unfortunately. Stuff like chairs moving around or something being dropped seem really loud because of the room shape!

He's not talking all of the time but he does have an incredibly vivid imagination and loves to tell stories which gets him into trouble because he sometimes can't stop!

Why are you asking me again??

I have linked another one of OPs threads because it makes it clear why the other children are calling him stinky; it shows that there are lots of problems beyond this ‘one off violent incident’ and there is likely huge ND at play.

OP also has another thread claiming her DC came home from dad’s covered in flea bites.

All of this is relevant and it sounds like both OP and her DC need serious help.

So not prepared to answer

but giving smacking as advice on this thread

interesting

It is relevant to your stance on this thread

For the 3rd time: smacking was not my suggestion, but a PPs.

Whichever way I answer is not helpful to the OP:

if I say no, because my DC are not violent and being excluded from things, then why should OP do something I’m not doing myself.

If I say yes, then you think I’m abusive, which also has no relevance to the OP or me.