School called about my eight-year-old's violent behaviour, what should I do?

[Exhaustedand]

I've just had a phone call from the school to ask me to pick my child up. He's been misbehaving all day - going around and pretending to shoot people, dragging his fingers over his throat in a "slit your throat" gesture and to top it all off, he stabbed another child with a pencil because she was annoying him.

He's eight and has spent the afternoon in isolation because his behavior has been so bad. He's also been excluded from after school club because they don't have the staff there to cope with his behavior.

I genuinely have no idea why or where he's got the gestures from- we don't watch violent stuff and it's something I've never seen any of my immediate family do.

I'm a single mum with another older boy and I'm just at a total loss of what to do next. School are putting a plan into place to give him more support and I'm planning to make an appointment with my GP to discuss things but I don't know how to manage his behavior and to help him. I'm reading the books recommend on my other thread and have been using the things I've learned but I can't see any change on his behavior.

I'd be extremely for any help or advice please!

I think everyone who has a child who struggles questions their role in that.

Yes, especially with very serious struggles I imagine

Have you had him assessed for ASD/ADHD? My AuDHD son finds noisy classrooms incredibly difficult and has lashed out at classmates in the past for things he regarded as insulting.

Just getting that process started now. I do think he's ND though.

Believe me, I've tried but short of physically locking them in the house and refusing to hand them over I don't know what else to do. I've tried multiple times to discuss it with him and he either refuses or gets incredibly nasty.

I've had an absolutely horrible couple of year and honestly at the moment I don't have it in me because he'll make our lives an absolutely misery.

Unfortunately if your child continues on this path, the next few years will get steadily worse.

because you are so adament that he is not learning this behaviour and violence at your home, it has to be the fact that he spends all his downtime (every weekend) with his dad. And it is what is going on under his roof.

So I would put your big girl pants on… and get yourself to court @Exhaustedand . For your son’s sake. And to stop this spiralling

What year is he? My son entered year 2 and the wheels totally fell off. No sign of SEN before that but then he was aggressive, disruptive, dysregulation and his behaviour was awful, but only at school. Because he was so overwhelmed with the environment, the sensory demands and the increase in social communication demands. It was horrible to watch him fall apart and school say it was just because he was a naughty boy that we didn’t discipline properly 🙄. He ended up with an ASD diagnosis, was out of school for 2 years then went onto an ASD specialist school where he has thrived and succeeded, getting ready for GCSEs now. A lot of the messages here are very similar to what we were told by people in school back in the day and it’s so upsetting that people think you are a bad parent. But sometimes something else is going on that can be very well hidden for a long time.