Who should go to work tomorrow?

[NotSureICanDoIt]

Today was my first day at a new job - one I am very lucky to have. I probably wouldn’t find another one as good again. Not going in tomorrow will look very, very bad and potentially jeopardise my job.
DP is a GP and has a 30 patient clinic tomorrow.

DD3 is ill. Some sort of virus, fever, headache, sore throat, no appetite. There’s no way she’ll be well enough for nursery tomorrow.

DP thinks I should stay home with her and I think he should. Up until this point I’ve been a SAHM so things like this weren’t an issue. He has never ever had to cancel work before.

Who gets to go to work tomorrow?

But op can't promise it won't happen again.
They'd be in the same position next month if her dc is unwell again .
Her dp is going to have to step up at some point, so it might as well have been today. Which it was.

Right, but even if you change job every menstrual cycle, the vast majority of employers and workplaces are still going to be entirely unknown to you.

Sacked her for it there and then? No.

Taken it into consideration when determining whether she has passed probation? Not so clear cut.

Yeah, if anyone's thinking only in terms of being sacked they're looking at the situation far too narrowly.

The medical practice should have locum cover. Doctors get ill and have to take unplanned time off - there are systems in place for that.

Well, that’s nice for OP if she and DP split up, or he has health problems later and can’t work, and she’s passed up the chance for a rare salaried job because you think the world doesn’t need it.

THIS!
amy employer worth their salt would not accept wfh with no childcare arrangements in place. You cannot work from home and have a Sick toddler at home.

Copywriting isn't only marketing.

For all we know she's writing technical manuals for very complex systems.

If she fails her probation for that one day, then she's no good at the job or disliked for other reasons and they've used it as an excuse.

This if he doesn't go in he will let 30 people down who may have waited a long time for this appointment and may intact people health

In that case she would be a technical writer. Not a copywriter

He didn’t go in. The thread was started yesterday.

He's the Locum!

Again, they won’t specifically say it’s for that reason. It will be a question mark in the “reliability” box. If it happens again - which it seems is what DP thought would happen, that OP would continue to cover as she did as an SAHM - then a second question mark goes in the box. If the car breaks down and she’s late, or a dentist appointment overruns, then maybe another question mark goes in the box.

It is unlikely to be the only time something happens - DD related or otherwise - in the probation period, and DP should be acting to help her minimise those question marks.

Anyway, we aren’t going to agree, so have a good evening:

That's not his problem?.very selfish attitude, would you say that if you or your dc needed to see a gp and they cancel last minute ?

It is the problem of the GP surgery to try and find another locum, to rearrange those appointments or to see if any can be squeezed into telephone appointments by others in the practice. It’s also possible not all of them were booked as there were slots left for “on the day” patients.

Regardless - all parents have a responsibility to their ill child, regardless of their spouse’s job. Otherwise why would anyone hire the husband or wife of a GP, detective, paramedic, care home worker etc?

I suggest you look up the term "technical copywriter". To ensure my knowledge was still up to date I searched for jobs before I posted, and there are plenty listed.

But even if there weren't, there are still plenty of other jobs for copywriters that aren't marketing.

@NotSureICanDoIt- as a 2 working parent family now, you need to get better plans in place for next time, and there will be a next time and it will hit when you have a deadline!

if he loses £500 a day cancelling work, you can throw the £30 per hour at an emergency nanny. Find out your local agencies, see if you can get registered with them so it’s a quick call/email.

But mainly, do you really have no local mum friends? Your child is 3 and you’ve been a SAHM, surely you have other SAHM friends? The assumption on here is the only people you can ask are grandparents or siblings, but friends help each other out like this.

Possibly OP doesn’t have friends who are currently SAHM - many maternity leave friends will have gone back to work, or else be on their second maternity leave now.

And any SAHM friends will have one or more children at home so looking after a poorly DD who is likely to infect their own child/children, isn’t going to be that appealing. especially when the child’s father can do it, just loses a day’s pay if he does so he CBA doesn’t want to.

if the dad was away or something, then that might be different, but he just doesn’t want to miss a bog standard day at work.

'especially when the child’s father can do it, just loses a day’s pay if he does so he doesn’t want to'

Maybe it isn't about the money, maybe he's actually a responsible hcp who feels guilt at cancelling 30 patients because his kid has a cold?

Equally, perhaps the hypothetical available SAHP friends OP has already said she doesn't have are responsible parents who don't want to bring an ill child into the home to infect theirs?

We all feel guilt if we can’t go into work, because we are letting colleagues and clients down.

We don’t get to dump all that on the other parent, or on friends of the other parent who have made different decisions about how they organise work, life and childcare.

No chance of calling in a favour from anyone to stay with the sick child? DH does minimum time he can at work, makes any phone calls from home etc. if not possible then he has to stay at home

DD3 is ill. Some sort of virus, fever, headache, sore throat, no appetite. There’s no way she’ll be well enough for nursery tomorrow.

Child got worse overnight and was sick so nursery a total no-go.

You can keep saying this child had a cold, because it suits your “ooh, don’t make a fuss” narrative. Doesn’t make it true.

But if you are volunteering to look after children with no appetite, a sore throat, a fever and who have been sick, don’t let me stop you.

Full time job