On holiday with friends; another family has turned up. Not sure what to make of it!

[Unomum21]

Help me process this dear mumsnetters!
On holiday with my family, 2 kids and my oh, we've booked with our friends who have a similar set up. We've done holidays together most years for over a decade, my best friend is the mum.
So, we arrived together from another campsite yesterday, to find my friends, neighbors/friends are here, not really a problem per se but a bit awkward?

My friend is a a bit embarrassed and said when they asked where they were going in holiday, they just said oh sounds great we can meet you there. And couldn't really say err no, with other friends.

Turns out theyve booked the same arrival and leave date as all of us, so not just crossing over.

They seem keen to find out about our meal arrangements and what time we plan to be at the beach etc. so far kept it vague and said hello when we've seen them. Now asking about tomorrow, but we've all planned to go out for the day as it's my husband's birthday so going for a long lunch and walk round etc.

I'm a bit perplexed about what's happening 😂 and what to do about it really. Never met them before, they seem nice enough, but everyone is feeling a bit awkward.

What do we think to this then?! 😂 I'll enjoy reading your comments over wine later 😘

Oh dear, your friend needed to be a bit firmer when they first mentioned it. Of course she could have said err no we're there with other friends! It's a pity she didn't come on MN and ask!!

Oh that would piss me right off! Did they know you were going to be there? I’d keep plans very light and what you you want, when you want.

Its blardy annoying, but unless they are really objectionsble I would just include them and next year make firmer arrangements with you friend.

For tomorrow I’d suggest telling them you’re going out for a family meal as it’s a birthday. They should get a hint that they’re not invited

Yeah we've discussed that 😂 apparently they wanted to come to the previous campsite but my friend managed to put them off that saying dynamics of kids might be an issue. But they persisted with this bit?!

Yeah they did know, which even more odd isn't it. It has pissed me off but I'm big girl and I'll get over it!

Yeah friends husband did just casually say we're out doing something tomorrow, without saying what..

Yeah bloody annoying but not you're right certainly not horrible people!

I wouldn't include them. Incredibly rude to just thrust themselves on you when it's clear they weren't invited.

People like this have no boundaries - which is why the rest of us have to be even firmer than normal. Good that her DH seems to have the measure of them despite his wife being hoodwinked / too polite.

I would be very direct with people like this. Say something like we have plans all week but could see you next Tuesday for drinks. Throw them a bone for the end of the holiday. Don’t give them anything else.

I just don't understand why people do this - insert themselves when plans and arrangements that don't include them have already been made. Fine for them to go to the same place upon your recommendation but at the exact same time? It's so odd.

We had similar years ago. Friend enquiring where we went camping (had a small caravan plus huge awning )..stupidly told them. .they rocked up with new trailer tent. .
Friend tentatively exited the car carrying a plate containing a cooked chicken..
Apparently she would get the rest of the weeks shopping from the campsite shop. It rained solid. And the shop was very very basic .guess who hosted an extra 2 adults and 3 dc ?

Agree. Be blunt back. They will have experienced this push back before so don’t worry about the CFs.

Say something like we have plans all week but could see you next Tuesday for drinks. Throw them a bone for the end of the holiday. Don’t give them anything else.
I agree with this. Don't worry about hurting their feelings; they're not considering yours.

Did your friend give them any suggestion about joining you?

If not, hide. Give fake plans, and put them in different directions and ... Have wine

Yeah it's as @TheTortiePuffinNeedsHerBreakfasthas said, just odd they've opted for exact same dates? I've never met them before, so they were at pool today, and I asked how long are you here for, that was when she revealed they'd booked the same dates. She did seem a tad sheepish about it.
Today I took 3 of ours kids to the lake around lunchtime, they were packing up saying they were getting lunch in local town, but appeared back within 25 mins and just joined in.. after an hour I took ours off lunch, then to another pool. I saw them again and they where the kids were, replied the this pool (not an invite) 20mins later the mum was there 😂

I'm wondering if they've told their kids 'we're going on holiday with' so they're having to pursue it..

Oh good lord, did ever try it again?!

maybe do something with them the day after your DH’s birthday and see if you all get along?

No I don't think so, more just 'oh we were thinking of going to that destination, we'll get it booked'!

My friend feels bad about it, and is as perplexed as me 😂

Nah, can't be arsed with that 😂

I’d make a lot of comments about how much you were looking forward to hanging out with Bill and Sarah. Yes, the highlight of our year. The 4 kids have a really good dynamic together, it just works well.

And why should you? You’ve chosen a holiday that you know works, that you can be comfortable and relaxed on. Not one where you have to get to know new people and supervise unfamiliar kids not know8ng whether they’ll all get on. It’s a totally different experience.

DM loves talking to new people on holiday. It’s part of the trip for her. She thinks it’s weird that I don’t. But truth is, it’s hard work to make the conversation flow. And if you don’t some bore talks at length while everyone else has to listen.

Am I the only one who wouldn’t really have a problem with this? You don’t need to be joined at the hip all holiday - but I wouldn’t have done that with original friends anyway - so why don’t you want to get to know them? Surely they must be ok people? They’re friends of your friends so you’re likely to have things in common? Why not give it a try? You might meet life-long friends and your kids will have other kids to play with.

I know if it was me I would cold shoulder them no matter how nice they seem. Its hard enough to balance everyones needs on holiday with friends you know but to add strangers into the mix makes it intolerable for me.

I know a couple of people who have cancelled a very much looked forward to holiday when they got wind of the fact that a friend/colleague had booked the same place same dates .

I would wonder whether your friend is giving you an accurate account. It seems possible to me that she made some positive sounds about them coming and then felt awkward about telling you. Particularly if you looked unimpressed when you found out. Just take a more the merrier approach now unless they are unpleasant in some way?