On holiday with friends; another family has turned up. Not sure what to make of it!

[Unomum21]

Help me process this dear mumsnetters!
On holiday with my family, 2 kids and my oh, we've booked with our friends who have a similar set up. We've done holidays together most years for over a decade, my best friend is the mum.
So, we arrived together from another campsite yesterday, to find my friends, neighbors/friends are here, not really a problem per se but a bit awkward?

My friend is a a bit embarrassed and said when they asked where they were going in holiday, they just said oh sounds great we can meet you there. And couldn't really say err no, with other friends.

Turns out theyve booked the same arrival and leave date as all of us, so not just crossing over.

They seem keen to find out about our meal arrangements and what time we plan to be at the beach etc. so far kept it vague and said hello when we've seen them. Now asking about tomorrow, but we've all planned to go out for the day as it's my husband's birthday so going for a long lunch and walk round etc.

I'm a bit perplexed about what's happening 😂 and what to do about it really. Never met them before, they seem nice enough, but everyone is feeling a bit awkward.

What do we think to this then?! 😂 I'll enjoy reading your comments over wine later 😘

Yes, much as I do find this sort of scenario very amusing in its englishness, and I wouldn't personally ever assume that I was welcome somewhere just because I was told it was happening, I do feel sorry for them. They don't sound like CFs, they sound like perfectly reasonable people who've made a mistake/misread the situation and felt they'd be made welcome and were looking forward to it. We can all get things wrong, and now they're been treated like pests. As others have said, it might have even been that the friend invited them maybe after a few wines then tried to put them off once she realised it was a mistake and it hasn't worked so she's gone along with it.

I mightn't have found it ideal, but I'd have just reframed it in my head, a different type of holiday now, ah well never mind we can still have a good time.

Agreed. I'm not sure why OP is so confident that her friend wants her family's company but not the other friends that she has invited along. There's lots of awkwardness, half-invitations, running away when the other family arrives and giggles behind their backs. When the third family initially spoke about coming too the best friend could have said "I hope you will like x destination but we probably won't see much of each other as we have lots planned with our pals, OP's family".

This is one of those stories that's hard to believe until it happens to you! My parents have had this happen to them - their (very new, as in they'd just met) friends booked onto the same all inclusive holiday they'd mentioned in passing, even though they weren't invited. They were too polite to say anything but were very upset about it and friendship didnt go very far.

I don’t think the OP cares about their feelings.
Like many posters who bring Cheeky Fucker scenarios - real or imagined - to MN, she gets off on the reactions here and on pointing out how odd and pushy the people she’s talking about are. She’s said as much.

If she was genuinely concerned about the 3rd family’s intentions & reactions, she wouldn’t be vague posting.

No idea 😂 she seemed happy enough having cocktails with us last night.

i agree OP doesn’t come across very well here

It would be good if the 'tagged along' Mum posts that she was invited on a camping holiday and then her friend and her friend's friend all snubbed her all week and she's now very upset and doesn't know whether to end her friendship with her neighbour for not being clear that the other couple coming were so rude and not inclusive.

It would be interesting to see this from the POV of the new family. Did they arrive at the campsite expecting to meet up with their neighbours/friends and were totally shocked to find OP and family there?

Just adopt the approach “the more the merrier” and try to find common ground. It’s weird but shouldn’t ruin your holiday! If they pay their own way and are good company, there’s not much to worry about! 😜

Well of course, because as you pointed out, you paid for them. What a CF!!

And clearly she wasn’t at all bothered by her DH storming off because she’s a heartless cow who only cares about encroaching on the OP and her friends!!!

/s

OP's already said that they were aware she'd be there. But I would like to know their point of view too. As I said in my post a few above, I think it is not too unlikely that they were looking forward to a lovely holiday and are upset with their friends/neighbours for not telling them how rude OP and her family are.

That's not to say that I think the OP is wholly in the wrong, she should have been made fully aware, even if neighbours have made a mistake and felt they'd be welcome. Friend should have come clean from the start even if she 'accidentally' invited them. That may haev changed the whole thing.

Camping, like others have said, for me is a casual 'more the merrier' thing. It's not intimate, there's usually other families around that kids inevitably make friends with and often you tend to spend a lot of time hanging about outside. DH's birthday meal thing complicates this though. I'd probably not want that to be inclusive of someone I didn't know.

Why on earth didn’t your friend mention this??

Seriously ? Sounds a bit ‘cutting off your nose to spite your face’. I can understand you may decide not to holiday with other people in future but to make your DC miss their holiday like that would be an awful thing to do .

Not really sure why there are posts saying you should be seeing it from their perspective. It seems quite clear that they invited themselves, so of course the other families are not just welcoming them and making plans with them.

What's happening is they are pushing into your arrangements without being invited. But if you aren't keen on them you'll either have to go along with them being included or make your own arrangements. I wouldn't like it either. Suddenly the holiday you are expecting turns out to be a different holiday if those others are to be included all the time.

Honestly this where we to be honest. It's not a big thing.

You never know! They might become new friends of yours! It’s always interesting to meet new people.

And if this is how the conversation went, the new family will be just as shocked seeing OP’s family. You can see why the husband seemed annoyed .

Omg , how are people so clueless ?
you have my sympathy, tough it out is all you can do

It sounds like the OP’s friend was backed into it after the neighbour invited herself. I think a lot of people can’t imagine anyone doing this and so they’re assuming the OP’s friend must have invited them implicitly or even explicitly some people
are saying, but they really are out there.

My MIL does it. If people try and fend her off she works around their excuses and doesn’t take the hint. They say “Oh it was just supposed to be family, we haven’t seen each other in years” and she says “Oh, we totally understand you’ll want family time. We’ll just see you when you’re free!” But then on the actual holiday they ignore the same hints and attempts at withdrawal that they were ignoring in the first place by inviting themselves.

OP already clarified that her friend told her they did know she (OP) would be there with her family too.