On holiday with friends; another family has turned up. Not sure what to make of it!

[Unomum21]

Help me process this dear mumsnetters!
On holiday with my family, 2 kids and my oh, we've booked with our friends who have a similar set up. We've done holidays together most years for over a decade, my best friend is the mum.
So, we arrived together from another campsite yesterday, to find my friends, neighbors/friends are here, not really a problem per se but a bit awkward?

My friend is a a bit embarrassed and said when they asked where they were going in holiday, they just said oh sounds great we can meet you there. And couldn't really say err no, with other friends.

Turns out theyve booked the same arrival and leave date as all of us, so not just crossing over.

They seem keen to find out about our meal arrangements and what time we plan to be at the beach etc. so far kept it vague and said hello when we've seen them. Now asking about tomorrow, but we've all planned to go out for the day as it's my husband's birthday so going for a long lunch and walk round etc.

I'm a bit perplexed about what's happening 😂 and what to do about it really. Never met them before, they seem nice enough, but everyone is feeling a bit awkward.

What do we think to this then?! 😂 I'll enjoy reading your comments over wine later 😘

The other couple clearly over-estimated their friendship with your friends. It’s camping FGS, not your bloody honeymoon. Usually camping is very relaxed and more the merrier.

I think your friend is at fault here!

Omg what a pain! I’d be polite but cool as you are doing. Doesn’t look like they are good at taking subtle hints. What a family of clingons!

Nah I wouldn’t care either, unless they were difficult to get on with. If they were normal it’s fine. I would carry on doing my own thing but I wouldn’t get upset if they were there either.

It's your friend's fault - for not being clear enough with her friend/neighbour that there's no open invitation to join in.

What are the ages of the neighbours' kids? Neighbour seems to be under the impression that they're all free to hang out together, kids, adults and all. The more the merrier. Do they do that at home? It may be they are around at each others lots and neighbour thinks theirs is the closer friendship rather than yours.

Are you sure friend didn't give the impression they were welcome and that you're trying to be cliquey and exclusive about your joint holiday now?

Or maybe neighbour is desperate to befriend your friend/palm her kids off.

The fact there was a discussion about the previous campsite and the dynamics between the kids makes me think your friend has said or agreed to more than she's letting on.

How far away from yours is their pitch?!

Camping is relaxed for sure, but it would annoy me having to make conversation every day with people I don’t know. Even if they’re lovely,
I'd want to talk to my friend about our mutual interests in our own relaxed way, not have to make allowances or arrangements with comparative strangers.

I’m clearly the outlier here but I think the more the merrier! You get to make some new friends!

Turns out theyve booked the same arrival and leave date as all of us, so not just crossing over.

This is highly unlikely to be a coincidence

I'd put good money on your friend spotting your discomfort and putting quite a spin on what actually happened.

I agree - give them a chance!

Maybe your bestie got a new bestie and didn't tell you? It's very odd they would know the exact arrangements and book the same things without being invited. What does your friend say?

Surely it can't hurt to have a meal with them once DHs birthday is over? You may all get along really well and a great addition to the holiday.

I also agree with the other posters that your friend has left it open for them to join you, perhaps felt too awkward to say no, and is closer with them than just neighbours. Sharing your holiday location and dates may have been misconstrued as an invitation to get involved too.

My friend is a a bit embarrassed and said when they asked where they were going in holiday, they just said oh sounds great we can meet you there. And couldn't really say err no, with other friends.

But she could really have said that she'd be with other friends and so busy. She should have said something for both your and the other families' sakes, because now she's put you both in an awkward position.

I feel like this could easily happen in my wider group and it wouldn’t be a big deal because that’s how we are with camping! There is something about camping that feels, to me, more casual/free for all. But if someone did this to me at a hotel I’d think it was absolutely mental. I obviously appreciate you don’t feel the same and this poor woman really missed the mark 😂🙈

Don’t fall out over it, just put it down to experience. Your friend might have just been saying what a lovely time you have together, mentioned where you’re going and the other family thought ‘I’d like a bit of that’. It might be ok, and the kids will sort themselves out.

I would define your own itinerary though and make it clear you are not joined at the hip, ie husband’s birthday plans are sorted, you’re going out on Friday night / Thursday day kind of thing… might see you by the pool?

And yes, drink the wine 🤣

Maybe the OP is going to be Wendied

It’s down to your friends to deal with them - one way or another they have actually invited them because they know the exact dates and location. I wouldn’t get involved

I would just go with it, I enjoy meeting new people and you never know you might really get along with them. A little different but one year I arranged to go camping with my good friend and her family, she invited another family along. All good. But on the day we were due to go she sheepishly told me she had actually arranged to do something else (one of the many reasons we are no longer friends!). We ended up spending the weekend with this other family. I thought it might be awkward but we had a really good time. I'm still friends with them now. Ended up ghosting the original friend.

I think this is what happened too OP!

I think I'd maybe make some plans for your immediate family to do some things alone. Maybe just take a deep breath and say to your friend "It's a bit awkward as I can see x is wanting to spend time with you and we just want to relax. How about we give you some space to spend time with them while we do something else.

That way she can spend time if whatever she said led them along, or if not and she doesn't want to, she might realise she has to speak up a bit as you aren't going to do the hosting on her behalf.

We had this happen last year and I am still furious about it. Not quite the same scenario as it was just us and the one family that turned up on our holiday and tried to invade each day, they have awfully behaved kids and kept sending them to our cabin to 'entertain' so they could rest/do what they wanted. We lost the plot completely and had a row but I'm still upset over it as it was our one holiday that year after multiple bereavements so we really just wanted quality family time.
They were more acquaintances than friends and they'd ascertained when and where we were going from (very little) information in a totally off-hand and quick conversation when we bumped into them previously in town. I hadn't even considered someone would be unhinged enough to do something like that. They are absolutely dead to me now.

I'd set a firm boundary and don't let them creep into your plans. I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

It's a bit sus. I'd suspect they was openly invited tbh. There is cheeky but there isn't throwing thousands at a holiday what you haven't been openly invited too cheeky. You say they seem like nice people, if they seem awkward and not in your face they may just be feeling exactly like you are rn.

So do l!!! She's not telling the whole story!

I think your friend is over compensating for your reaction - this was likely planned. And it's a bit weird if you're close and she didn't say.

Yeah, this is what I'm thinking. I'd be annoyed. But I think it's on your friend more than the other couple.

Clearly they’re not the type to take subtle hints so I’d be firm if I were you, just say something like it’s so weird you turned up on exactly the same dates after Jane mentioned where we were going on holiday.