Husband's bad mood on holiday has made the whole trip miserable

[TheLizardQueen]

Holiday ruined 😡 Arrived in the Lake District on Friday. All going well until yesterday we went to explore. DH moaned and rolled his eyes all day making it not a nice experience. Same again today when we went out. Moaned at DD because there were shops she wanted to visit. Said he was going to wait in the car for us. Didn’t come into any shops and instead waited outside in a mood. Went for dinner as a treat. He said his meal was horrible (ours was great) complained about the table next to us talking too loud. Complained all the way home because DD sat in the front and played her music, which I don’t mind. DD can’t sit in the back due to windy roads and travel sickness. Then he told her she was making it all up because she wanted to sit in the front seat. I’m the driver btw, DH doesn’t drive. She was mad that he said she lies about having travel sickness. Then he told her to not talk to her for the rest of the holiday. She’s in her room alone. You can cut the atmosphere with a knife. Worst thing is we’re here with his parents (who I love) but his mum is taking his side in all this. Me and DD just want to go home. We’re walking on egg shells. I can’t even look at him, he thinks he’s done nothing wrong. Seriously thinking about my future now 😞 Been together 23 years. DD is 19 and still (usually) loves coming on holiday with us. I’m so sad 😞

God it sounds awful. He sounds awful. You don't need to spend the rest your life being dragged down by this man. Can you sell the house?

Advice please! Need to start looking at Universities for my daughter. She is a year behind as she hated her first sixth form college (too large) and so had to drop out. She’s an introvert with adhd so struggles sometimes to socialise and fit in. She’s fine once she’s comfortable but it takes her a while. My question is this: is it better to look at universities that are closer to home, even though they might not be the most suitable? Or is it more logical to look at universities that are perhaps smaller and friendlier but are a long way away? Obviously it’s her decision ultimately, but it’s important to try and make the right choice this time! Anyone have experience of this situation and how did it end up please?!?

What’s the point of him?

May be start your own thread. You can't hijack someone else's.

People keep saying go home - this may be OP's only holiday this year (we only got one this year and no holiday at all next year). I wouldn't let my arsey husband ruin it!

The good news OP is you drive and therefore hold all the cards. Leave your whiney little boy of a husband to spend time with his mummy and daddy. You take your daughter off to have some fun together. Do whatever you like. Lunches out, lovely walks, rowing on the lakes. Make some memories together. There are so many beautiful places to visit. Tarn Howes! Windermere (the boat museum does an awesome lunch). Beatrix Potter's house!

Then when you get home, make an appointment with a solicitor. Leave him! You hold all the cards. You have equity, you can buy a flat for yourself and your daughter. (And finally be a good role model - all you are teaching her right now is to be a doormat. Sorry, harsh but true)

Have fun xxx

Ps if you husband doesn't like you going out without him, he can get a train home or learn some basic manners. Don't let your daughter be treated this way. Think of that if standing up for yourself seems too hard.

What a miserable bastard. I wouldn’t be driving the fucker anywhere, ever again. Including back home. And his mother can fuck off as well. What is the point of this useless man? At least a lot of useless bastards that MNers often get lumbered with have money. This cunt doesn’t even have that.

But you are the breadwinner! Stop. Find a place and move out with DD. He can manage on what he's got.

Omg OP this is awful. He sounds like an emotionally abusive lazy man. See a solicitor when you get back. What benefit does he bring to your life? Sell the house and make your own place. He sounds insufferable. Make sure your DD knows this type of relationship is not acceptable.

DD is 19 and still (usually) loves coming on holiday with us.

so first year he has ever behaved like this on holiday?

DD is 19 and still (usually) loves coming on holiday with us.

so first year he has ever behaved like this on holiday?

LEAVE HIM!

My Ex was like this and it's lovely not to worry about his moods anymore.

He can always get the train home?

I'd just get through the holiday as best you can. You can hardly talk with his parents/mum there. When you get home, some conversations need to be had. Grown adults shouldn't punish other adults with their bad moods - they should regulate their own emotional states.

FIL didn’t say a word. MIL took DH side. I’m fuming with them both, I haven’t spoken to them. Normally they’d take my and DDs side. Which made me think maybe it was me. But you’re all right… he’s such a fun sponge

She’s doing an HND now, uni next year hopefully

My ex-husband was like this. I organised and paid for a few trips away for us and he would absolutely ruin them with a foul mood and complaining the whole time. He was young at the time, only late twenties, but acted like a grumpy old man!

He saw you coming…stop bankrolling this waste of space and save
money for a solicitor then put together a plan.

He sounds really hard work. Totally spoiling your holiday. Start saving and leave.

Good grief this sounds hellish

and you’re saying that every other holiday your DD has loved ??

Well yea because we normally go somewhere remote so not many days out and just lots of board games etc. and when we did go out he stayed home with the dog. It’s honestly much nicer when he stays home!

This sounds like a horrible situation. Tell him if he wants to go on holiday with you and DD again, he need to learn to drive so he can sit in the front. Sorry, but not being able to drive in today’s world is crazy

I agree. He’s too lazy to drive, why would he want to when he when he can be driven!

Tell your PILs they can take him home in their car when you leave since he doesn't like your DD's music. Plan your divorce when you get back. You can put the house up for sale and with your half and your higher income, get a place for you and DD to live peacefully. In the meantime just go out without him and tell him you'd rather he did his own thing for the rest of the holiday as he's not been good company. When are you there till? Are you all sharing an Airbnb or something?

We had a holiday like this and it was not quite the final nail in the coffin of our marriage, but a fucking big nail!

The contempt set in and I was just waiting for the final nail. It took a few years to finally have the courage to end it, but bloody hell am I glad I did, nine years on! No more miserable bastard ruining my life!

Your best solution right now is to remove yourself and dd every time he behaves like this. Just calmly leave him to it.