How can I be sure I'm not his retirement plan?

[800wow]

As sure as anyone is?

I'm comfortably off in middle age, and have been seeing a man for nearly 2 years. He's lovely we have a great time together and also enjoy time doing our own thing. We don't live together and never will (been there done that, not doing it again).

He pays his way and we are able to do lots of nice things without worrying about money. Our finances are completely seperate, his money is none of my business beyond the fact that he pays his share, but I suspect he's much more live for today than I am. He doesn't own his own home for example, having never wanted to be a homeowner.

As we're starting to look like this is a long term thing, I've started to ponder what would happen if/when he can't work.

I've made it clear we won't live together and he's accepting (happy) with that but at the same time, we probably both know that if it came to it I'm not going to see him on the streets. It was supposed to be a bit of fun, but has gone beyond that now.

His finances are none of my business but it is starting to feel like they do affect me. That said, am I going to finish with him because he doesn't have adequate pension arrangements?!

I am a bit of a catastrophosizer. Is this a valid concern and what, if anything should I be doing avout it at this stage?

Not all bad news as the Inheritance tax position is very different for long term unmarried partners , even if deceased partner is leaving the home to the surviving partner. Many single women ( and men) are vulnerable to financial detriment, especially if they have given up carers to care for their partners thinking they are going to inherit the home but then are clobbered with an unexpected Inheritance tax bill and no funds to pay it, other than by selling their home.

Even if the shared home is a property is left to them in a will, if the deceased total estate is worth more than £325k, there could be 40% inheritance tax to be paid, which, if there are no other realisable assets, means the bereavement partner might not have an option other than to sell their long term home and downsize. I don't see any harm can come from allowing long term partners in this vulnerable situation the same inheritance tax benefits as legally married or civil partnership couples

Do you have insider information? The government consultation closes today 14/08, so your "no" maybe premature.
Edited for duplication

the man would have benefited from the fact that the woman is at home providing free domestic services for him whilst he is at work.
😂
My grandmother may have provided free domestic services for my grandfather, but my mum certainly didn't for my father 😅
And I'm sure my generation won't.

Why don't you want him to know about your finances? Do you think he doesn't love you?.

I wish I could disagree with this - but I think it is a very astute summary of many women’s reality.

Yes but what holds true as a generalisation doesn’t always hols true for individuals.

The OP is worried but has no basis on what to base that fear on apart from the fact he is renting, like millions of other people.