Help me with some good replies for rude men

[petitpasta]

Twice recently I've had negative comments from men when in gym gear.

For context I have lost nearly 9 stone and have joined two gyms and am enjoying weights, yoga, pilates and circuit classes. I'm still overweight and am still losing weight slowly. I'm a size 16 (down from a size 28 two years ago)

The first comment was in a shop when I called in to pick up a parcel on my way to a class. A man said "think you need to spend a bit more time in the gym love" and laughed at me. I couldn't come up with a clever comment but told him to fuck off.

The latest one was outside my house when I was heading out for a weights class and the guy laughed and said "don't think the gym is working for you sweetheart". The only thing I could come up with was to say "I'm getting more exercise than your brain is".

I'm not really bothered by the comments - they say a lot more about the men making them than they do me - but I would like a few more putdowns for these stupid men because I think they should be shamed for their comments and I think they're banking on me / women being too embarrassed to reply.

So, any good comebacks please?

I would instinctively go with 'Fuck off' as well but I do like PP's suggestion of 'thank you for your opinion' if you can manage to swerve from fuck off.

I also like "Im sorry, I dont speak in English" (said in my incredibly English, some say posh, accent).

I stick with fuck off, but if you do go for something else, keep it below 6 or 7 words, otherwise delivery will be weird.

For when someone says something really vulgar/offensive.-

What a horrible lower class expression. Is that how you people communicate?

But I love the classic Mumsnet -

Fuck off to the other side of fuck and then fuck some more.

Don’t do these they’re awful.

Have a look on YouTube of stand ups dealing with hecklers. Frankie Boyle does some good ones.

‘Your mum shat you out so she could fuck the doctor’ and so on

I think you rock! Not only for your achievements but for your responses! You could go for the "what a rude comment" approach. Although I might add something along the lines of "I am sorry you are a bit slow. Must be hard to understand social rules in your condition".

Edited to add another one - there are no words to convey how little your opinion means to me.

Dd gets hassled my men frequently. She says “do I know you?” In an unfriendly way. They are then forced to admit they don’t know you and therefore outed themselves as being weird. Can be then followed by “why are you talking to me then?”

Your brain is shut down but you're still talking. Reboot.

If there is an audience then repeatedly asking them to explain makes them look very foolish.

Oh sorry, I don't speak lower class. Could you explain that?

Edited to add another one - there are no words to convey how little your opinion means to me.

Actually the simpler version of this would work well: I dont care what you think.

Fuck off does it nicely.

My response to "smile Love" is "no".

what you’ve achieved is amazing 🤩 well done 👏 I wouldn’t even give them the time of day to be honest xx

“ I can get thinner but you’ll always be a dick”

I asked this question once and my friend said, "Just say FUCK YOU".

I'm a lifelong slave to good manners and never thought I'd do it. One day, out walking my dog a man said something nasty about her being little. I looked him in the eye and said "FUCK YOU". Then just walked off.

The elation lasted all day. It's still working now to be honest.

Some taken from Instagram (edited for typo)!

“I love how you don’t let your height/hairline/breasts (delete as appropriate) get in the way of your confidence”

“Do you have a friend who could recommend a good gym?”

“Aside from the obvious, what would you change about yourself if you could?”

”What exactly are you compensating for?”

”If you weren’t balding, what hairstyle would you go for?”

”That haircut/jumper is so brave”

”Wow! Those are some big feelings, little guy”

”Is the balding making you emotional/rude?”

”You're not tall enough to speak to me like that”

“It’s okay, babe, I’m also on my period”

I think I’d be tempted to stop dead, look at them and do a slow clap, short patronising laugh and end it with a ‘fuck off’.

Fuck off and get back in your cage.

A friend gave me a keyring saying, "You cannot imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give", which I shall employ sometime. But these morons would struggle with the meaning of "immensity".

Stop, look them slowly up and down, sigh and roll your eyes and walk on.

Nothing you can say will stop a dick from being a dick. All you can do is not give them the satisfaction of the reaction they are trying to provoke.

“I’d call you names but that’d make both of us cunts”

Laugh very very loudly. Then say "good one" and walk away chuckling.

There’s the famous “I can loose weight but you’ll always be a cunt”.

A non verbal response to convey total contempt. Slight smirk/ smile while looking him up and down. As if to say, I am amused by the fact you think your comments could possibly perturb me. They want to upset you and this shows the total opposite of that. Needs to be accompanied with a general air of self confidence though.

I would 100% go for ‘Oh I’ve never met a Reform councillor in real life”

that’s my favourite

Go fuck yourself, you fucking prick.

To the point. Don't bother with smart comebacks.

Except that he probably is, and extremely proud of it, too.