Help me with some good replies for rude men

[petitpasta]

Twice recently I've had negative comments from men when in gym gear.

For context I have lost nearly 9 stone and have joined two gyms and am enjoying weights, yoga, pilates and circuit classes. I'm still overweight and am still losing weight slowly. I'm a size 16 (down from a size 28 two years ago)

The first comment was in a shop when I called in to pick up a parcel on my way to a class. A man said "think you need to spend a bit more time in the gym love" and laughed at me. I couldn't come up with a clever comment but told him to fuck off.

The latest one was outside my house when I was heading out for a weights class and the guy laughed and said "don't think the gym is working for you sweetheart". The only thing I could come up with was to say "I'm getting more exercise than your brain is".

I'm not really bothered by the comments - they say a lot more about the men making them than they do me - but I would like a few more putdowns for these stupid men because I think they should be shamed for their comments and I think they're banking on me / women being too embarrassed to reply.

So, any good comebacks please?

“Stop being so hemotional/testerical”

”you have the confidence of a much taller/handsome man, well done on overcoming your shortcomings.”

I do like the ‘your tits are bigger than mine mate’ from above but add “maybe you need to take your own advice and pop more to the gym instead of the kebab shop” if they are portly.

I'm willing to bet none of these men making comments are remotely attractive themselves, so it’s probably just to do with their own insecurity projecting on you. Some men also just love to try and bring a woman down when she is just existing and doing anything for herself. Well done on your fitness anyway, they are total pricks who are desperate for any kind of attention.

I came to comment exactly this ⬆️
It’s so effective in making rude people squirm, without descending to their level.
The way I do it is looking puzzled and saying ‘I don’t understand’. They then feel they need to repeat their ‘hilarious’ comment, or explain it, and if it was unkind, they get to hear themselves again, being unkind.

If they do have the gall to repeat it, you just - again - look mystified, and say ‘I don’t understand’. Keep going until they give up. Which they will.

Even if it doesn’t prompt them to reflect on whether they want to be the kind of person who goes round being unpleasant to people, it does always have the effect of draining the insult of its power.
And the bonus is you don’t need any confidence, sass or chutzpah to deliver the line ‘Sorry can you explain what you mean?’ or ‘I don’t understand’.

Wishing you well, OP, and congratulations on all the amazing progress you’ve made in investing in your health. 💪🏼 👏🏻

“At least I can work out, your dick, on the other hand - nothing can grow that…”

But generally - I’d just say LOL and keep walking…

"Save your breath - you'll need it to inflate your girlfriend later"

Don't bother replying. Ignoring is better imho.

I’m sitting here thinking what I’d like to say if I were in your position OP, but actually I’m just furious on your behalf. Your body isn’t their business, what absolute scumbags they are to make such nasty comments. . Your achievement is fantastic.

"Bless you, does your carer know you're out on your own?"

"You have the opinions of a much taller man" works for me

This really works. I was at the gym and about to put my mat down when a man threw his mat and it landed at my feet. My back was to a wall and people were either side of me. I politely explained that I was about to put my mat there. He replied but I didn't catch him so I asked him to repeat himself.
he said that he'd asked me "Do you own the floor?".
I just walked off to get the rest of my kit. When I got back he'd moved and he never came back to the class.
Getting him to repeat himself and then walking off made him look like the wanker he was.

I would ask them to repeat themselves, quite loudly. Maybe more than once. I've found that generally embarrasses/pisses them off.

Some great comebacks on here.

Im getting more exercise than your cock will get with comments like that to women

Ill avoid whatever gym your going to if it makes you have an attitude like that ☺️

Honestly say something back some men think they can say what they want and get away with it play em at their own game 🤣

You've got a small dick haven't you

Then do not respond, no matter what he says.

You could possibly wiggle your little finger with a knowing look, but don't actually say anything

This is good too

✋

I thought it was spot on, actually.

Oh, I like this.

I would probably just say “are you always this much of a cunt?”

Are you having a bad day?

tends to rile people up in my experience

I agree with those that say ignore them. They are looking for a reaction, don't give them the satisfaction

I think FO is an excellent comeback.

However what also works well is to look them in the eye with a pleasant expression, repeat their question back at them very calmly and ask them what they mean by that. “You don’t think the gym is working for me? What do you mean by that?”

You need to do this in a quiet and nice way (not stroppy), so that they need to explain themselves and I think most men will then be embarrassed by that and realise how rude they were being.

Honestly I don't think they're worth your energy. Obviously you're at the gym to get yourself in better shape, you're doing more than most, and you know where you've come from and where you're headed. Sounds like you met some neanderthals. Most men and women are better and more understanding than that, but there's always an idiot trying to make himself feel better about some of his own shortcomings. Or herself, but they tend to bitch afterwards and not try to bring you down in public. Not worth your time or energy.

Keep it simple just say
good job i don’t give a fuck

no reaction and it’s shut down

I like the idea of replying with something negative about their appearance, e.g. Receeding hairline, big nose or whatever but why lower yourself to their level. I'd go right up to them and in a loud voice, looking really puzzled ask "what do you mean?" and I'd keep staring at them and ask the same thing repeatedly or variations of it like "yes, but what do you mean" as if I really didn't understand what they were getting at, I'd follow them back to their car or down the street or wherever constantly repeating the question, then watch them squirm as they realised they'd picked on the wrong person and they were going to have a job getting away from me!

That's a good one

”oh to have the audacity of a mediocre man” as my friend would say