What wouldn't you admit out loud ?

[2ndNatureTime]

Im sure they'll be lots of judgement on here as always but here we go

I really wish I hadn't married my 1st husband. He was a loser and still is.
I find 99% of kids so dull

Would your DH do the same for you? Think about this very carefully @MaggieBsBoat

Honestly, some things are just too much to ask of another person. To lose your own sense of home and end up doing the lion's share of the care of people who are not even your own parents is one of those things imo. It's just too much to ask. And your own elderly life will be much harder, both for you and your own children.

If there is a need for care, he should bring them closer so that he can do it. Or a care home. I bet you have shouldered the burden of caring for the family so far and you deserve some independent life.

I despise people who look away from the living torture that we put animals through in industrialised 'farming'. They/you are weak, irrational and tbh contemptible, especially those who have pets or 'love animals' or like instagram posts of dogs being cute.

I'm similar, my parents moved when I was 11 and I ended up going to a different high school to all my friends. I really struggled and ended up bullied and a bit of a loner, my grades weren't as good as I knew they could have been either because I just didn't want to be in school any more.

It's shaped who I am now I think, my confidence has always been a bit low. I often wonder what my life had been like if we could have stayed where we were living, ironically my mum moved back to the same town a couple of years ago too

Me too. And I have no words for any person who carries out tests on animals bred for the purpose, kept in cages their entire lives and then destroyed when no longer good for the tests. I know it's been done so we have medicines we all use but I'm convinced it could be done better and with more humanity. How these people sleep at night is beyond me.

What did she do/not do?

I feel similarly about my mum. I loved her and she was a good person and a kind mother.

But she was weak and indecisive in protecting herself and her children from my dad’s alcohol abuse, cheating and temper and I never really respected her. From my teenage years onwards I had a degree of contempt towards her for not leaving him.

I also add, please don’t do this. You don’t have to. You really do not have to do this.

You can help and support DH without moving house 😳😲.

Either get in carers and they pay for it, or SS do an assessment for LA council tax funded provision if they can’t afford to pay themselves. You’ll need to -with DH- advocate and ensure the care provided is adequate and meets their needs. You and DH can manage the admin for them, but you can do that remotely.

What you both need to understand is that what is really important now, is that you and DH protect the relationship you have with the parents- you are a son and DIL, not hands on physical carers. That is what matters most in the final years of you DH’s parents lives.

My employers think they are so woke but actually they are just as hypocritical as other firms in the sector about things like unnecessary business travel or giving work experience placements to mates' children. A few volunteers at a local food bank does not mean you are socially responsible.

Another work one that I wouldn't say out loud. When you ask "did you have a nice weekend" it's the same as asking someone if they are well. The only acceptable answer is "yes thanks". We don't need a 10 minute description of what a wonderful weekend you had. You may say if you eg went to the cinema which film you saw. That is all.

I have a friend (and my mum does this too) who likes to give you chapter and verse, quite literally, about books she's read or a film she's seen or in my mum's case a radio play she's heard. She goes through the plot/content for ages whereas I'd just say "I read a really interesting book about someone who travelled round the ex-Soviet states" or "there was a good play on about two sisters who murdered the neighbour because he stole their cat". Full stop.

I agree - the UK is incredibly varied.

Also, holidays should be about having fun and relaxing, not having culture shocks and having to eat food you don't like or risk catching nasty lurgies from the water.

Same. Im not an only child but seems all the running around for and after her, is left to me

Oh no :/ You can learn to drive at any age. Unless he has a medical condition, there NO excuse. He's not going to learn it as quickly as a teenager maybe, but he'll have a massive head start just being with you and getting a feel of the changing the gears and such. Unless you object to taking him out, he wouldn't even have to pay the hundreds of pounds a lot of people would spend doing this. I feel bad for you as you've probably made all those points to him already?

I started learning as a teen, but didn't pick it up again until I was an adult and had to start from scratch.

I also agree completely. Any resistance to some of the tech nonsense results in being called old and out of touch.
I see it in schools all the time. Even now that some of them are reverting to handwritten notes because the learning link in the brain is stronger than constant typing.

Oh yes. I actually unfollow a lot of people/businesses when they do this unless I am really really interested in the product.

Someone said they think people have children because it's a societal expectation - I agree and I also think it applies to a lesser extent nowadays to having a pet dog. People I know who never liked dogs when they were younger now have one. I think it's just part of the SUV/ski-ing/middle class lifestyle.

Sorry to hear your own children aren't nice to you, that sounds really hard.i think it's great that you were such a good mom to them because you get to hold your head high and know that you don't deserve to be treated unkindly. You should be very proud of yourself. I hope they will catch themselves on in time.

I love this thread.

Mine is:

If you don't want your kids to suffer, you shouldn't have children. They will suffer; it's inevitable, and you are responsible for bringing them into the world to suffer.

Adults who've never learned to drive and let their partners, friends, or children run them about here, there, and everywhere. It's a life skill, you gormless oafs, so man the f#ck up.

My son has a big dog and I feel sorry for the neighbours when he starts up. They moan about him and so on, well don’t have a dog then.
( he is well looked after, but they are a tie)

My mum has started entering telephone numbers into the phone again so she will start to remember them instead of just pressing Sarah or Dentist or Paul or whatever.

I can remember telephone numbers from years ago but I really struggle to remember my mums' and son's mobile numbers, though I know her landline and my husband's numbers.

(actually I just tested my mum's number as I started writing it down a few days ago - and I remembered it! It worked!) Physical memory is a thing!

Amongst many other things, I judge my mum for having my sister and I when her children from her first marriage were vulnerable teens recovering from their dad's abuse. They needed her full attention, not two demanding toddlers.

Nobody got what they fully needed in parenting in that situation.

I prefer dogs, but must admit that the poster above makes a really compelling argument for humanity. Such fun.

spiderlight

if she was red I remember her!!!!

eta chestnut I meant!!! Red- pfff!

I agree with you. I can drive, but I don’t have a car (my choice) now, so I either walk or use public transport. I never ask, expect or want a lift.

If someone knows that they will not be a good driver then it’s better they don’t inflict themselves on other road users.

I fancy the landlord of my local pub. He is hot stuff.

Are you single op ? Why not ask him out if his available? Or more complex ?