Gutted - can’t take job offer for my absolute dream job 😞

[TheDrswife]

Anyone else had to swallow a very bitter pill? I’m a copywriter and I’ve been offered a full time hybrid role for my favourite ever brand that I buy a lot of.

The problem is that I also have a three year old in term time nursery only (no scope for more days). I doubt I could find another suitable setting so quickly and tbh I don’t want to - she’s my priority and I don’t want to just shove her in some random childcare that she doesn’t know.

So I get that it’s my fault for being so inflexible but I just don’t see a way I can accept this job 😞

What are people doing who cannot reduce their working hours because they need the money?

Read her subsequent posts. Over ten hours ago, she took both encouragement and ideas from the thread.

So it helped her, even if that wasn’t her original intent. It’s lucky that many posters came on to say helpful things with a bit of tough love, and not just to snark, innit?

I’d take it because your child is 3. Presumably next September they will be starting full time school? If they’re in private, it’s likely to be a longer school day than in state, so really it’s just the next year to sort out.

It’s surprising to me that they don’t already offer holiday club at the nursery given it’s linked to a private school… ours offers holiday club for the little ones and the older ones and it’s always full because most parents really need the childcare all year round! Do they offer holiday club for the kids when they start prep/reception?

If this is your dream job then find a way to make it work. Speak to your prospective new employer to find out if there is any flexibility. Look for a childminder or nursery that isn’t just term time.

Take the job!!
Nothing wrong with using a childminder or nanny in the holidays - get recommendations. You and your partner can take annual leave for some hols too (plus help from relatives if poss).
I paid a friend of mine to unofficially childmind my eldest when she was a toddler and I didn't want her in nursery full time 5 days a week - instead she was in nursery 3 days a week and with my friend (who had a daughter of the same age) 2 days a week, to provide a different experience.

If this is your response to a “dream” job, then I can’t imagine how passive you must be about anything that isn’t your “dream”

My daughter started with a brand new childminder during Covid, with very little notice.
We met her once, outside her house and she started with her a few days later.
There were no problems at all - kids adapt very quickly to new situations.

Wow. Please say you at least checked her dbs and references? And the children met her?

and if it was during Covid… she wouldn’t have been able to start working for you anyway

She was an Outstanding rated childminder. Of course I checked her credentials I’m not a complete idiot.
I got a new job, meaning the school our daughter was going to start at was no longer suitable and we had to change it at the last minute. This meant finding a childminder for wraparound care as our previous option was no longer viable.
And she was absolutely allowed to work for us. We are both key workers.

This is only an issue for next summer so you have ages to sort out something suitable. You can take leave for the other holidays split with your other half if needs be. There are options of a child minder, nanny or au pair for the summer? Uni student looking for work/babysitting? Unpaid parental leave. You should take the job!!!!

You are using very negative words for the nursery. Shove? Why does she need to be 'shoved'?

yeah a nanny for the holidays or a childminder and once your child is primary aged there are more summer clubs and camps. I have always worked full time and my kids did camps when not on holiday with us and now they are in secondary and just chill at home and hang out with friends.

Help? Is he not equally her parent and responsible for her childcare?

It's genuinely concerning. In this era I don't think anyone should be turning down a job without good reason, but this is really quite feeble. I can come up with a few solutions without even trying very hard.

Exactly

Just one child, who will be going to school next year anyway

I think the Op should reject the offer and so it goes to someone who is willing to put in a bit of effort

If OP was sitting next to you at a toddler group and chatting about the difficulties of child care and a job offer, would you tell a woman you had just met that she was "really quite feeble"?

Still ignoring OP's update that the thread had encouraged her to look at options and continuing to dunk on her, then?

Yes but that wasn’t her intention when the thread started.

She had already resigned herself to accepting her dream job. Despite doing zero research.

Well if it transpired that the woman had been offered her dream job but was not going to accept it because no childcare for her one child , I would ask what she had looked in to, and if she responded, nothing, I probably would think “oh, right, your dream job??”

So what?

She has changed her mind. But you are continuing to snipe on the basis of the first post. What's the point? Do you just like being like that? Does it make you feel good to criticise another woman for having a rethink?

Wasn't addressed to you, unless you are sockpuppeting.

But calling a poster "really quite feeble" on a thread she is probably still reading is just as shitty as doing it to her face in person.

HTH.

Anyway, I'll leave you both to your snarkfest love-in, as I have work to do.

Toodle-oo.

No it was not addressed to me

but as far as I am aware, there is no rule about that? It is a discussion after all

How peculiar

Dear me! Must be the heat

How much more money is it than your current job? Could you hire a nanny for holidays combined with obviously taking your annual leave and taking parental leave unpaid if be necessary for a week or two. I really hope your husband would also be using his annual leave as well and that realistically you could manage between you and with a couple of weeks of holiday clubs a year.