Gutted - can’t take job offer for my absolute dream job 😞

[TheDrswife]

Anyone else had to swallow a very bitter pill? I’m a copywriter and I’ve been offered a full time hybrid role for my favourite ever brand that I buy a lot of.

The problem is that I also have a three year old in term time nursery only (no scope for more days). I doubt I could find another suitable setting so quickly and tbh I don’t want to - she’s my priority and I don’t want to just shove her in some random childcare that she doesn’t know.

So I get that it’s my fault for being so inflexible but I just don’t see a way I can accept this job 😞

Good! Now, believe in yourself a bit more! I know having a baby knocks your world on its head, but you can absolutely make this happen.

if you turn this down, you’re going to regret it forever.

at least DO the job and if it really doesn’t work, then look for something else.

but they interviewed you and offered you the job. Copywriting isn’t just packing boxes, or a job that anyone can do, they like your style and they like you!

you’re not @TheDrswife your H is TheCopywritersHusband

Go girl!

Was this not something you knew when you applied?

I had to give up my dream job last September due to our LA giving my asd daughter a school that was completely unsuitable... still think about it a year on 😕

You can make this work. Go for it.

Part time baby sitter to cover all of the holidays. Would be perfect for a student. Does the school go to 18plus? If so the older kids are following the same holidays so a mature older student at the school would be perfect.

If it’s 9 weeks you will be able to cover 5 weeks with your annual leave so that just leaves a month per year.

do not give up your dream job, childcare can be found.

Who says your employer wouldn’t be flexible…more hours in term time to make up for half terms etc, unpaid leave in holidays, mix and match unpaid leave with additional childcare. Yes you want to be with your child but I know my 6 year old recalls very little of when he was 3…more importantly is a secure and flexible role that means you can have flexibility to be around after school when they are 4/5+ and they need and want you to do reading practice, chat about their day, do some after school activities etc. my kids thrived at nursery and now they are in school I am reducing work hours to be with them more at these times and to give myself some space between children and work! Their emotional needs only increase!

How old is your child? I had a similar situation and have managed it. I have used a combo of annual leave, parental leave (18 week unpaid entitlement), relatives over flying out from NI for a week and holiday camps

Take the job, take the job, take the job. You will figure it out!! If it doesn't work out then atleast you'll know. But the opportunities and growth that might arise from it... I hope you find a way. My salary covered childcare fees when mine were little... It was hard to juggle and many said it was pointless...but I stayed in the workforce, built my skills year on year and even though it didn't make us financially better off at the time...it definitely has now! Good luck

Doesn’t have to be random child care! I worked so my child could go to nursery rather than other way round because it offered him more opportunities than I could provide. He loved it. 19 now at a good university and already got a brilliant job in chosen field.

I got a childminder who collected from nursery and had days during the school holidays as well.

You could, realistically. On some level you don't really want to. I would move heaven and earth for my dream jobs - I've done mad things to keep freelance gigs I wanted because they're lucrative and creatively fulfilling and getting me towards the top of the industry. You're at least somewhat happy with the status quo or you would change it.

Have you thought about offering those weeks/months to a suitable student? Like a student teacher, or student in child related area?

I did this regularly while juggling school holidays. I went straight to the local universities / colleges and advertised the job and it worked well for me.

Can you approach the job and say that you're incredibly keen to join them but would they be open to a conversation about a flexible working pattern around your caring responsibilities? Be open about your barriers to accepting the job.

Once your child's in full time school you'll still have an issue of school holidays won't you (not sure if you'd be looking to keep them at the same independent school) so it's worth trying to see if there's a way to balance it all out.

It could be that there's another interviewee they liked that would be willing or keen to do the job as part of a job share?

They might say no but don't ask don't get.

So pull DC out of term time only nursery and put her into a 52 week nursery…..? It’s quite simple if you really are desperate for the role.

Look up unpaid parental leave, you can use up to four weeks per year and as far as I know it became a day one right this year.

Take the job seriously. Get childcare..your child will be fine.
Never take these chances for granted.
One day you might be glad you progressed your career like this and grabbed the chance with both hands.
If (and this is hopefully very unlikely) you ever needed to rely on your own income by yourself then you will be eternally grateful for your career. It happened to me so yes I'm probably projecting.
But take the opportunity!!

Whilst OP and her DH should certainly explore this, it may well be that there isn’t a year round nursery near her with a full time place for a 3 year old, so it may not be super simple.

We make it work with a combo of annual leave and unpaid parental leave (which is a bit of a stinger financially but cheaper than holiday clubs for our children and we save over the year so we don’t notice the salary shortfall when we take it).

I am a Head of Department and am always willing to be flexible where feasible for anyone in my team who has flexible working needs.

I got to last two of my dream job. The salary was huge. I didn't get it . My own fault I'm kicking myself at my last interview I got it all wrong.

It happened to a lot of us tbf!

There will be a way you can do this - local childminder or nursery nurse wanting extra cash? Can your husband come home early 2 days a week, can a family member help?.

I advertised for a reliable kind lady on nextdoor.com and got an absolute treasure - there are lots of mature ladies wanting a bit of extra cash a couple of times a week.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way…

“Gutted”

but seemingly put zero effort in to looking for a solution.

Don't turn down your dream job! Take it and you will find a way to make it work. Do you have a spare room for an au pair? Or nanny share, or babysitter, there are lots of options.

Presumably you had to go through quite a rigorous recruitment process to secure this role?

I haven't read the posts or replies.

1. how will you manage when child/ren go to school?
2. submit a flexible working request... A) term time only B) compressed hours in the holidays to reduce AL you need to take

Tbh, this won't be an issue until Oct at the earliest, Christmas if you use AL in half term.

What can your child's father do to help?