Home security cameras and MIL

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We have had security cameras fitted at our new home that we moved into 3 months ago. They record all around the outside of the house and parts of inside but just by external doors and our home offices. There are none in our family’s actual living space.

My MIL has kicked up a huge fuss saying that she doesn’t want to be recorded and is refusing to come to our house unless we get rid old them or turn them off when she’s here which we won’t be doing. We have asked what exactly the problem is and she just says she doesn’t want to be recorded in our home but can’t or won’t really say why.

Would you have a problem with the cameras? If so, what would be your concerns as I’m trying to understand what MILs issue is.

Our neighbour has a camera that covers both our front doors so never felt a need to install one outside ourselves.

No-one visiting has ever expressed discomfort about our cameras, everyone who visits knows that they record video and audio in almost every room. The cameras themselves aren’t hidden either, they’re on shelves/bookcases overlooking the whole rooms and it’s very obvious what they are.

It used to absolutely scare the crap out of our dog when we talked through the pet cam to him so I don't know how much it calms dogs down when a voice blares out at them from nowhere and they can't actually see the owner. Our dog got very confused and more agitated trying to figure out where the voice was coming from

Just how is this normal?!? So intrusive and weird to live in Big Brother.

So when you want to have a moan about your OH or joke with your best friend about your sex life or something like that - you have to make sure you're outside the reach of cameras?! Just why would anyone voluntarily live like this?!

Don't you have any embarrassing things you do that you don't want anyone to see? Or have that sneaky drink/cig/cake that you wouldn't tell your OH about. I would feel so self-conscious all the time

I find it funny that you call someone weird for having cameras but think is healthy to feel you have to sneak a slice of cake and hide it from your partner.

i also think that cameras in every room that also pick up audio are weird.

I don't know anyone who has that

But is it normal to hide having a piece of cake from your partner? 🤪

Cameras in the house are invasive and just not necessary, outside I can’t see an issue. No one I know has cameras inside, especially the lounge or kitchen/ dining area and if they did I wouldn’t catch up with them in their house.

It’s probably making her uneasy in case she does something embarrassing which is seen later. I wouldn’t be comfortable with it either

hiding a slice of cake from your partner is less weird than having cameras in every room.

Now I think of it if I eat crisps, chocolate or cake I usually eat them alone, I don't eat them around my family or partner. Not because I'm afraid of them, but they're all into their health and I just don't want a lecture about what I'm eating. I prefer the independence of eating by myself

It’s not common to do something embarrassing when arriving or leaving someone’s house though and that is all she’ll be on camera doing. Obviously it’s her choice but if it’s literally arriving and leaving, what’s going to happen really?

To you maybe. I find hiding food really bizarre behaviour and far more weird than having cameras for home security when they’re not used for anything other than if a burglary happens. If your family lecture you about what you eat and that makes you feel like you won’t eat things in front of them, that is really messed up.

A difference of opinion. I wouldn't call it 'hiding food'. I would call it 'preferring to eat junk food on my own'. I'd hate to be watched all the time on camera for ANYTHING not just food

Eg. I drank a diet coke in front of a friend last week. He said ' do you know that is the worst thing you can possibly drink, its like cancer in a can!!!!' blah blah blah.

Eating in private at times is unexceptional psychologically.
It's much weirder to not understand this human behaviour than it is to do it!

Hiding what you’re eating from a partner isn’t a sign of a healthy relationship with food or with your partner.

Having cameras in your house which aren’t ever checked unless there is an incident like a break in, isn’t an issue if everyone living in the house is ok with them.

The person used the word sneaky which does mean doing something in secret or hiding.

We have cameras and don’t ‘watch them all the time’. Hyperbole.

Who said just partner. I 'hide ' what I'm eating from my parents and my friends.

Hide is your word, not anyone else's.

I would call it choice.I've always preferred to eat alone.

no one watches cameras all the time. However EVERY moment on a camera CAN be watched. My workplace for example can watch back every second of footage for the last week if it wants to. then it archives it

I wouldn't go into a house with a camera inside to be honest. My choice.

The pp used the word sneaky. Sneak slice of cake that you wouldn’t tell your partner about. That’s weird to me because I don’t feel I have to sneak anything and not tell my partner. He certainly wouldn’t be watching back video of me. The only time we have looked back at footage is when we had a break in, when someone stole our car, and when our dog had a fit and we looked to see if there were any signs leading up to it.

We didn’t know there was a camera so that made it all the more uncomfortable

Enjoying eating in private is not 'hiding', it is eating in private. Humans have a psychological need for solitude, privacy, quiet, aloneness at times.

It is psychologically unhealthy to live with permanent surveillance. The fact you are used to it doesn't make it healthy. It distorts behaviour and removes privacy. Very grim for any children in the home.

Anyway, we are derailing the thread. I hope your MIL realises that she’ll hardly be on camera from what you’ve said because it sounds like she wants to visit your home OP, but if not, your house your rules. Cameras are very normal in my circle.

now that really is awful

right well stop deflecting onto other people. youve mentioned the cake loads of times.

what we are talking about on this thread is having cameras in the house. if someone stole your car - how would you see that on a camera facing into a room?

Cameras are very normal in my circle. Doesn't make it healthy. It is messed up that there are kids forced to grow up under camera surveillance.