Home security cameras and MIL

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We have had security cameras fitted at our new home that we moved into 3 months ago. They record all around the outside of the house and parts of inside but just by external doors and our home offices. There are none in our family’s actual living space.

My MIL has kicked up a huge fuss saying that she doesn’t want to be recorded and is refusing to come to our house unless we get rid old them or turn them off when she’s here which we won’t be doing. We have asked what exactly the problem is and she just says she doesn’t want to be recorded in our home but can’t or won’t really say why.

Would you have a problem with the cameras? If so, what would be your concerns as I’m trying to understand what MILs issue is.

Just lie FFS. I’d say ‘No problem Brenda, of course we’ll turn them off when you’re here, we only have them on at night’.

And then just don’t turn them off.

I tell my MIL ‘Oh it’s lovely to see you Sue! What a nice jumper!’ It’s never lovely to see her and she’s never in nice jumpers, but we all just get on with it.

I don’t like this on principal but I have cameras in the house myself. I also have them in my Mums house. They are useful.
Maybe if your husband explained exactly where they are and what they can see she might feel ok about them. I suspect a lot of people would feel the same as her.
Also it literally takes a second to turn them off and on assuming they are on an app so I’m not sure why you’re so adamant that it’s not going to happen. I can’t be arsed spending time getting annoyed by stuff like this. Is there a lot of history???

I have internal cameras to keep an eye on my pets when I’m out and for the external doors. I live alone so I mostly keep them on even when I’m home but I turn them off when I have guests visiting, even the ones which aren’t in spaces they’ll be spending any length of time, as it just feels wrong to be recording others. I turn them back on again when they’re gone.

If the camera makes your guest uncomfortable and you’re home why do you need a camera recording the kitchen door or home office? Unless you don’t trust your guest there seems no good reason not to just turn it off for the time they’re visiting.

I guess for me it’s the feeling that tracking/surveillance is becoming so normalised now and any pushback gets “What are you worried about if you don’t have anything to hide?”

I have nothing to hide but I don’t want to live in a world where our every move is being recorded. This is where I start to sound paranoid but once everyone accepts being filmed/tracked, what’s the next step? It all gets analysed by AI to check if anyone is up to no good? It’s easier to say no now before it gets too entrenched.

What was your aim in getting the cameras? What do you want to prevent happening?

It's your choice but I'm interested because as pp have said, people are quite vague on this.

We were burgled in our previous home and thankfully had cameras, so the people who did it were caught and we got a lot of our stuff back. We also had people attempt to break in but stopped when they saw the cameras, so they’re a deterrent and make us feel more secure.

MIL has the find my app and we all share locations so she doesn’t have an issue with that. She asked for it and we didn’t mind.

I wouldn't want to be filmed all the time in my home or someone else's. I accept I'm often filmed in public spaces and public transport. Rather than having to explain why I might want to pick my nose, lick my plate, rearrange my boobs or scratch my arse why would anyone want to watch me doing that? Why wouldn't you turn off the cameras when your MiL is visiting if that makes her more comfortable and doesn't make your home unsafe? If it does make your house unsafe, explain to her exactly how.

I am not vague. I have got one in my living room that can "see" out the window and could be set to tell me if anyone is approaching the house. It predates my video doorbell and "watches" a different area of my front. My others are in the garden to record wildlife. I did have a couple set up to monitor my dogs when I had them. Of course it prevents nothing but if someone did break in or get over my fence, I'd have a record of it as the recording isn't stored in the camera but in the cloud.....steal or smash the camera and it will record you doing it and save the recording! I have nothing in or anywhere near bedrooms or bathrooms. I do have amazon echo but all the cameras are turned off. If someone like a visiting tradie asked me to turn off the cameras while they were there, I'd do it if I trusted them but no one ever has and they are not hidden.
On reflection if I loved my Mil and it was easy and didn't give you a problem, I'd turn off the cams for her visit....but untimatums do make me bristle a bit.

Therefore you only need the cameras switched on when you're out and at night?

Because we were previously broken into when we were at home, so we feel better having the cameras on at all times.

No, read my previous comment.

Stick to your guns Op it’s your home not hers and she doesn’t get to make the rules on when your security is on or off.

" Rather than having to explain why I might want to pick my nose, lick my plate, rearrange my boobs or scratch my arse "

gosh, you do that when you are visiting someone?

We're you at home when either of these occurred? Did inside cameras provide any more security/information than outside ones?

Yes, I'd hate it and I wouldn't visit since it bothered me. She's not unreasonable for having an opinion and offering a sensible solution which is to stay away from what makes her uncomfortable.

Probably not but I might want to and I don't want to know if my guests do.

We were at home when we were broken into unfortunately and yes, the recordings inside were used by police as you could see their faces better.

But she talks about wanting to visit all the time so it’s not like she has found a solution she is happy with. If she wasn’t bothered about not visiting, I wouldn’t be posting as it wouldn’t be an issue.

I wouldn't knowingly go to someone's house who had internal security cameras. It feels very intrusive and I wouldn't feel like I could be myself. I think it's very strange to have cctv inside your home.

I see. So your previous burglary took place when you were in the house. In the day time. That must have been terrifying. If your MIL can't understand based on this information and if her antipathy to cameras takes precedence for her, over your family's previous trauma, then I'd tell her to fuck off.

She doesn't want to visit as much as she doesn't want to feel uncomfortable. She doesn't come there and whinge about it so she's clearly found a solution that is better than compromising. So, I'd say it's win/win.

My dd has a camera in the kitchen, trained on the door, to keep an eye on the cat while she's away. I feed the cat twice daily.

She's told me to turn it off when I go in the front door and not to forget to turn it back on when I leave. I hadn't mentioned not wanting the camera on but it does make me uncomfortable to know someone may be watching when I'm alone, even if I'm just feeding the cat. Same as a lot of people. It feels intrusive even if it's just my daughter. We didn't discuss it, she just told me to turn it off.
It's just an innate feeling that many people have.

Unless I disliked my mil and wanted to piss her off, I'd turn it off.
Why make her feel genuinely uncomfortable when it's not necessary?
You might not understand why it does, but it genuinely does and she's not alone in that.

You have them in your bedroom? When you're having sex or getting changed or when your children are naked?

She does want to visit though and tells us every time we talk to her or see her.