Home security cameras and MIL

[AWildPlaceToStart]

We have had security cameras fitted at our new home that we moved into 3 months ago. They record all around the outside of the house and parts of inside but just by external doors and our home offices. There are none in our family’s actual living space.

My MIL has kicked up a huge fuss saying that she doesn’t want to be recorded and is refusing to come to our house unless we get rid old them or turn them off when she’s here which we won’t be doing. We have asked what exactly the problem is and she just says she doesn’t want to be recorded in our home but can’t or won’t really say why.

Would you have a problem with the cameras? If so, what would be your concerns as I’m trying to understand what MILs issue is.

Exactly what I was thinking. The more evidence the better. MIL is weird imo, they aren't in every room. She should ask for more details rather than a flat out no.

It's just a bit creepy as you feel as if you're being watched constantly, we have 1 in our kitchen pointing to the back door and it moves when we pass with the motion but it's only my husband and me that have access to view it and it's better having it for security than not as I've been burgled before in the past but once I got over it creeping me out I've actually forgot about it being there but I totally get why someone wouldn't be able to relax, maybe you could just throw a scarf over them when she visits

The camera hysteria on here is insane, coupled with the obvious lack of reading ability and comrehension.

If the OP had said - we have a ring doorbell on every external door - would you have the same issue? The cameras are recording people coming in and out, they are not recording people sitting down and having lunch, moving around inside the house etc, what is the issue?

comprehension

I will never understand people putting cameras inside their own home. It's so fucking weird.

The sense of being watched all the time is dreadful. Can’t you simply turn off the cameras while she’s with you?

"If there's an argument while you're there, they may keep that tape forever, in case they need to use it against you in the future."

Actually, I love the idea of having a flag-on-the-play instant rewind! I've wished I had a video of some of our arguments to prove him wrong after the fact. No more "That's not what I said...."
😂

The only people who have cameras inside around here are drug dealers!

Don't you run into data protection issues having them with audio in your office? You have to notify anyone if a meeting is being recorded.

From your MIL's perspective, what if she wants to tell your DH, or you, something private. You say you wouldn't watch it back but the point is you could.

Or she might just want to rearrange the underwear digging into her, do a burp, any of the things we wouldn't like to do in public. Having cameras indoors makes it all feel public.

Yeah cctv outdoors but indoors.
If someone was going to break in you'd see the outdoors .
Why do you want cameras indoors when its only family and friends its uncomfortable and weird.

It was another poster's response I was asking about, not the OP's.

Ohh okay, so wonder why she didn’t just tell you? 🤔

OP said that her mil isn’t bothered about the audio . She has also said that the rooms they would sit in with mil wouldn’t pick up and audio and don’t have cameras in. She has explained that the cameras only cover entrances.

How do you know? 😂

Yes but cameras in an office space make you a data controller under GDPR.

I hope @AWildPlaceToStart had taken this into account, especially as many upload taken third party server.

I'd be sacked for this.

Cameras outside are fine. Cameras inside is weird and intrusive to guests.

Why do people have cameras inside?

someone i know has one in their kids (aged 9) bedroom

sooooo weird!

Because they are often pointed at entry points, ie. doors and windows, where access can be gained and where outside cameras cannot reach for whatever reason.

We have them to watch our dogs when we're not home as do our BIL/SIL.

They are also motion detectors. It's difficult to set motion detecting up on some outside cameras, because they have interference from wind and animals etc, but inside cameras do not have these issues so are great to have set to motion detecting when everyone is asleep etc.

They can be set to automatically switch on/off during set times. If motion is detected when not at home, the police are automatically called.

@AWildPlaceToStart

I presume you’ve considered this, but have you physically showed her what the cameras see and don’t? Presumably she knows about the former break ins/attempt and how useful the cameras were? 🤷‍♀️

Plenty of people have ring doorbells now, what’s the difference, really? She’s making a mountain out of a molehill, or just making excuses to not come, and if you turned them off, there’d be something else?

Indeed!! 😂

I only have external cameras, but if I had internal ones, I would only activate them when the alarm was on.

The OP is the one who is making a mountain out of a molehill.
I mean, how likely is OP’s feared scenario?

The family and OP’s mother in law are in the house. It’s daytime. There are cars on the drive. The lights are probably on and people are talking, watching tv etc inside. The doors are double or triple locked. The windows are locked. The burglar alarm is activated. The outdoor cameras are operating all around the house.

Despite all this, the OP is convinced that a) a burglary may well happen, and b) having indoor cameras AND indoor audio may well mean catching burglars who would not otherwise be caught.
She’s so convinced of this that she’s not prepared to turn off just the indoor cameras and audio (nothing else) when a key member of her family has asked her to do so. Just for the duration of her visit.

OP is someone who clearly has a very serious problem with paranoia or with the need to control everyone around her. I would say that she should be trying to manage her own mental issues rather than criticising the mother in law. If she continues to treat her mother in law’s perfectly natural concern as irrational she is likely to drive her away, which will have a negative effect on family life in the future.

@Redintoothandclaw I mean, how likely is OP’s feared scenario?
The family and OP’s mother in law are in the house. It’s daytime. There are cars on the drive. The lights are probably on and people are talking, watching tv etc inside. The doors are double or triple locked. The windows are locked. The burglar alarm is activated. The outdoor cameras are operating all around the house.
Despite all this, the OP is convinced that a) a burglary may well happen, and b) having indoor cameras AND indoor audio may well mean catching burglars who would not otherwise be caught.
She’s so convinced of this that she’s not prepared to turn off just the indoor cameras and audio (nothing else) when a key member of her family has asked her to do so. Just for the duration of her visit.

To be fair, OP was in the house with doors and windows locked and still had people break in, plus at least one other burglary.

We were at home when we were broken into unfortunately and yes, the recordings inside were used by police as you could see their faces better.

So the audio wasn't helpful then? So agree to turn it off when MIL is there.

I'm not suggesting that there is absolutely zero chance of a burglar burgling the house in the daytime while people are in and the indoor cameras being helpful.in apprehending the burglar. I'm saying that the chance of that happening is very, very, very low, and the chance of that happening exactly on the occasion that the MIL is visiting is vanishingly minuscule. If it did happen, well, there's always OP's house insurance.

Set against that vanishingly minuscule chance the fact that the MIL, a very close and important relative, has concerns which most people on this thread would also have about the cameras and audio. It's perfectly reasonable for her to ask that they be turned off when she visits. Only someone with real mental health issues, who is a bit of a monster or who hates her MIL, would say no to this.

Now imagine these far, far, far more likely scenarios in OP's life:

1. OP gets into her car and drives into town. A reckless or drunk driver crashes into her and she is seriously injured.
2. OP is walking along a pavement. A reckless or drunk driver drives onto the payement and OP is killed.
3. OP goes for a walk. She trips over a stone or tree root and falls to the ground, bashing her head. Her life is saved, but she has brain damage.

Those incidents happen pretty frequently and are far more serious than a burglary where there isn't a good camera shot of the burglars. Yet OP leaves the house. She probably even drives, which is clearly a risky thing to do.

Why not get things into perspective and value the important things in life (a good relationship with your MIL is one of those).

@Redintoothandclaw I’m not a fan of the indoor cameras either, I just wanted to point out that there WAS a burglary while they were inside the house.

I did ask OP (but she didn’t answer) if she would have the MIL in the house, walk from room to room, then sit wherever the socialising takes place, then play back any camera and audio footage to her, that way OP keeps her cameras and MIL sees exactly where to sit to not be recorded. Otherwise it’s the kind of thing that will rumble on for years.