Home security cameras and MIL

[AWildPlaceToStart]

We have had security cameras fitted at our new home that we moved into 3 months ago. They record all around the outside of the house and parts of inside but just by external doors and our home offices. There are none in our family’s actual living space.

My MIL has kicked up a huge fuss saying that she doesn’t want to be recorded and is refusing to come to our house unless we get rid old them or turn them off when she’s here which we won’t be doing. We have asked what exactly the problem is and she just says she doesn’t want to be recorded in our home but can’t or won’t really say why.

Would you have a problem with the cameras? If so, what would be your concerns as I’m trying to understand what MILs issue is.

'Cameras are very normal in my circle'. I wonder what circle is that! I literally don't know one person with a camera inside their house, and I have friends from all walks of life

It’s your house so you can record if you want to but mil has the right to not want to come round. I would also hate it. Do you really need to have the indoor cameras turned on while you’re at home, for what purpose?

lol. You answered me silly. 😂

Think it through! Because they obviously had to get the car keys from in our house to then steal one of our cars from one of our garages. Their faces and voices were were more clear on the house and garage cameras.

"from one of our garages" lol. Extremely rich but living your life in fear.

but as other posters have already written about scenarios like this , an external camera would also have picked them up.

'it's very normal in my circle' - one of the snobbiest things that I've read on mumsnet in a while

We have similarly placed cameras OP, as advised by the police, and also had a member of our family who refused to visit us for a while because of them. We just told him that they were staying so it was his choice not to visit. You can please yourself in your own home. It sounds like you still see MIL so I wouldn’t tie myself in knots trying to sort this out. She’ll either change her mind or get used to not seeing you at home. In our case our relative changed his mind and did decide to visit when he realised he would be on his own for Xmas as everyone was coming to us.

External cameras are more common or so the company that fitted ours told us. Criminals know to look for them or cover their face outside but don’t always expect them inside the house. Our indoor cameras are usually a better picture than external due to outside weather, lighting and position of cameras.

I wonder if there's an age split on this. I'm in my late 50s and remember when CCTV started being installed in town centres, shops, public places etc. People weren't happy about it at the time - there were objections and pushback.

Are those who see having cameras in their home normal young enough not to know that until relatively recently it was possible to live your life free of surveillance? That pretty much the only people who were constantly watched were in prison?

There's something really dystopian about this calm acceptance of having cameras in not only public but also private, domestic spaces.

Just tell her they are motion activated and not really sensitive, so if she walks sideways she won’t be recorded. That would be fun to watch

They're giving a lot of power to criminals - doing this to their own families and friends. As for those who don't tell people that there are cameras - awful behaviour. And at some point someone will say something they regret and the recordings will be used against them, most likely by a spouse.

It worked really well with our puppy tbh he'd fall back asleep if whispered shhh to him as its what we do at night when he wakes

Aw, that’s so cute.

We wanted to put cameras in the house of a relative who lives alone-for their safety, because with the best will in the world, as a working mum I can't get there all the time, and this would mean we could check on safety. But got a resounding no. A lot of people just hate the idea-not being ageist, but it is a fact that people my age, who grew up with it, are less likely to be bothered.

TBF, your MIL is probably recorded many other places, and if you hadn't mentioned it, there would probably have been no issue. But you're right to mention it.

Your choice, either tell her they say and you're sorry if that means you'll always have to meet elsewhere, or you can just switch them off when she's coming.

Multiple reasons including home security and the safety of my family.

Until you find yourself in a situation where indisputable video evidence saves your life, I doubt you’d understand or appreciate the importance of having home cameras.

We don’t find them intrusive at all, they’re not monitored and we only check the footage when needed, I honestly forget they’re there most of the time.

If I have something to moan about regarding my DH, I’ll moan about it to him directly. If I’m not bothered discussing my sex life with a person face to face, why would I be bothered about it being recorded on a private camera that nobody else has access to out of my home?

Our home cameras capture all kinds of embarrassing moments, doesn’t mean anyone sees them. I’m not live streaming our home to YouTube.

It's unlikely the cameras really helped find the perpetrators, the police probably knew who they were already, but they would have helped as evidence to secure a conviction.

If you want to use them as a deterrent, they can be off, because who knows if they are on or off?

If you genuinely believe caméras protect your house then you need help.

If I was MIL I'd object to the idea that if something happened or you recorded something of me, you could replay it or use the footage. It's also really odd to know you're being recorded. FIL has similar cameras in his home and spends half his holiday checking them instead of relaxing. What would he actually do about it if he saw someone on them? It's crazy thought process imo.

So sorry you’ve been burgled - that’s so traumatic. Especially when you were in. It sounds like the cameras really helped and I’m a believer in them being a deterrent.

I can’t really understand her worry as it’s only the entrance/exit and outside. Which is common for a lot of people. Especially with all the ring doorbells. The only difference is the office spaces but I doubt she needs to go there!

Could you show her the camera angles to reassure her she won’t be on them except arriving a and leaving?

is the sound on - does it capture the conversation? Sorry if this has already been mentioned. But
wondered if that could be a compromise and turn sound off.

I think if all that fails then she just can’t come!

it’s your house and the cameras aren’t that intrusive. I know people who have them in most rooms! With the history or break ins and the associated understandable worry then you have the right to a safe home.

Whether MIL is being recorded on CCTV whilst out and about is beside the point. We all have to accept some public monitoring but being recorded inside someone’s house is very different.

I wouldn’t like it, but I might be reassured if I was shown the limits of the recording, eg what wasn’t covered by a camera.

I have cameras in a holiday property but they are only active when the alarm is set. I was at pains to establish this as it faces directly into our bedroom and we sleep with the door open. I don’t think anyone, least of all some hapless security watcher, needs to see me stagger from bedroom to loo in the nip.

Agree with this. The inside cameras have better quality pictures usually.

Most cameras have a light to indicate different. Especially in the dark the light can be a useful deterrent.

I think you’re being very unkind to someone who has been burgled, has criminals in their home, and had their stuff stolen. Have you been burgled before?

I have a friend with cameras in her home like this and I avoid going there but have not said why. The problem for me is that they are 100% controlled by her DH and I don't trust him not to eavesdrop on our conversations.

Also just don't want personal conversations recorded full stop as the audio never really goes away, even if the camera owner can't access it anymore. AI will probably soon be scraping through all the undeleted audio for financial info or some other nefarious purpose we haven't even thought of yet.

I am in my 70's and have a camera in my living room and several in my garden. The garden ones are to video birds and animals.

What a disgusting comment. Having cameras doesn’t mean you’re living your life in fear, but unfortunately, if you do have things that others find desirable, you may feel the need to secure your home, including with cameras as advised by the police. You sound like you have a chip on your shoulder. Maybe that’s why OP and other posters who say they have cameras have received so many horrible comments.

This except for moaning at DH as he died some time ago.