Home security cameras and MIL

[AWildPlaceToStart]

We have had security cameras fitted at our new home that we moved into 3 months ago. They record all around the outside of the house and parts of inside but just by external doors and our home offices. There are none in our family’s actual living space.

My MIL has kicked up a huge fuss saying that she doesn’t want to be recorded and is refusing to come to our house unless we get rid old them or turn them off when she’s here which we won’t be doing. We have asked what exactly the problem is and she just says she doesn’t want to be recorded in our home but can’t or won’t really say why.

Would you have a problem with the cameras? If so, what would be your concerns as I’m trying to understand what MILs issue is.

I disagree with this.My work building has internal and external cameras. The quality of the footage on both is the same.

Yes, more than once. Still won't have cameras inside because it's creepy.

I don't think my post was particularly unkind. FIL is crazy to sit watching his empty house on a camera instead of enjoying life. His most precious things are with him on holiday (wife, kids and grandkids) the rest is just stuff.

What's the living room one for?

Yes, but what about things like Home Invasions? BIL and SIL were robbed at gunpoint while watching Netflix at 6 pm.

I don't like being recorded, but as long as I was told in advance that there were cameras in use (non-private areas of course) I think I could accept it. Their house, their rules.

You're clearly fearful, or you wouldn't have a massive security system. And the OP is so fearful (or controlling) that she won't even consider turning the INSIDE cameras and audio off when her MIL visits, despite being asked to do so. Just in case a burglar breaks into the house during that two hour period once a month while everyone's at home. I'd pay a lot of money NOT to have cameras recording all my family's actions and even speech 24/7, and not to have to warn everyone who enters the house. It's particularly awful for the children, who know that their parents can check on whatever they've done or said when the parents were out or in a different room. And of course you're spying on your cleaner and nanny. You've made it clear that you've got very expensive "stuff" in your house, but at what a cost!

If there's an argument while you're there, they may keep that tape forever, in case they need to use it against you in the future. There's no way you could relax.

Sounds like a controlling man using ‘anxiety’ as an excuse. Switch them them off when he’s not there if you don’t think that’s the case. After all they wouldn’t need to be on if it’s for pets and you’re there.
Listening back to the convos?! Sounds like he has it pointed at your bedroom to check you aren’t having an affair

It was just a silly hypothetical example that I you're clinging onto to divert the discussion from your batshit life in a fish bowl where everything you do and say is monitored and recorded.

Do you seriously never want to do or say anything you wouldn't want recorded, seen and saved?

The funny thing is that quite often morons who have inside cameras have been caught by police committing crimes BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN RECORDING SYSTEM.

How can you be sure your OH doesn't watch them? How can you be absolutely sure the recordings will never be accessed, shared, hacked, used against you in the event you and your partner split?

Maybe he does, I don’t have an issue with that. Why would I?

If we ever split and he wants to use a video of me cutting my toenails on the sofa or snoring in bed as blackmail or revenge, I’d be impressed and amused with his level of desperation.

already posted upthread

It's unplugged in the bedroom and has been for months when the dog is with his parents. I don't have time for affairs I'm barely home as work 100h weeks lol. My friends know that the kitchen and study aren't places to have private convos if they want them

I’m sure you aren’t having an affair- but why does he want to listen to you? That’s not normal

As long as they’re only for the outside, I’d have no problem.

Ok.

I'm not going to bother hunting back through the thread to find that info.

Can you invite her to your house, walk from room to room pointing out the cameras, sit where you would normally sit to entertain her, then rewind all the footage and show her what the camera and microphone has picked up? If she can see what exactly is captured it might put her mind at rest?

Do you have a particularly big house? Or very expensive items? What do you do if you want to sit in the garden - leave the back door open?

It’s less than five minutes to select OPs posts and read them.

Seems very weird having cameras inside a residential property, I would not be comfortable with that at all.

OP it’s your home and your preferences rule. We have CCTV which has so far caught two criminals and saved our neighbours from being burgled or having their cars stolen.

We had cameras in our living room and kitchen so we could check on our dog when we were out.

No one ever objected. In this day and age of people/strangers constantly filming everywhere it seems a bit strange to object to your nearest & dearest having useful security cameras.

Why?

Some people get very worked up over security cameras. 'Invasion of privacy' and all that.

Tell her they're off when she visits.

Why would you want someone spying on you and eavesdropping on your conversations 24-7?

to me it sounds reasonable. But probably MIL hasn't got an up-to-date take on IT & home-surveillance. Perhaps she needs, very patiently, to be talked through what is where and what records what and why.

It's up to her whether she comes to stay with you.

It's also up to you to turn off cameras for the duration of her stay.

To me it seems to be a matter of education and negotiation.
For clarification: I am seriously old. I have security cameras both inside and outside my house. Mainly/almost always, the inside ones are switched off & the only constantly active one is the front door.

We have outdoor cameras and put an extra indoor on when away but wouldn't have indoor one on otherwise.

Sounds like she may like to go out for a crafty cig and not be recorded?