How do we ACTUALLY solve the rift between dog people and non-dog people?

[Talkingtomyhouseplants]

Inspired by yet another dog thread where all the SAME arguments are trotted out again and again:

The Pro Dog People say:

• The dog is my family, you need to treat it like family
• Why would I get a dog just to leave it at home?
• It’s just a dog, it’s not bothering anyone
• My dog is less annoying than your child
• I love my dog more than I love people
• The dogs are ALLOWED to be there so it’s okay that I bring them places
• If my dog isn’t invited, I would probably choose to stay home as I prefer most dogs to people anyway
• My house is my dog’s home too, I won’t be shutting it away for anyone
• My dog isn’t dangerous - he’s a bit softy.

The Anti Dog People Say

• I’m allergic/scared/don’t like being around them - please keep them away from me
• It’s a pet, not your family
• A dog is not a child
• I won’t have dogs in my house
• Dogs are dirty and unhygienic - they shouldn’t be in shops or places where you eat
• I’m sick of dogs barking and jumping up at me in public and I keep stepping in dog poo
• There are too many places that either actively allow dogs, or more often don’t challenge people who bring them anyway so dogs eventually become allowed
• Dog owners are entitled and pushy and this is why they are now suddenly everywhere
• It’s dangerous to have dogs around children
• Dogs can bite/kill people
• There are too many untrained dogs who are treated like people

Same arguments on both sides, every time.

In my personal life I can think of at least two situations where these opposing views are creating real rifts in families because the dog person wants to bring a dog, and the non-dog person doesn’t want to be around said dog. I can feel it becoming more polarising in society generally, anti dog people are more vocal about being anti dog and pro dog people are more pushy about full inclusion of dogs in human spaces.

So what is the actual solution?

The cafe owner loves dogs, hence why she welcomes them there. She makes a huge fuss of every dog that comes in, and the regulars have their photo taken and posted on their social media.
Why are you assuming you can talk for all business owners?

I could not care less if people did not like my dog. As long as they don't feel the need to come up and tell me they hate my dog (and why would they? are they 5 years old?), then all is good.

"most " people or you?!

There are a lot of people out there that don't own dogs but do love seeing them. In fact it can get quite annoying when the dog is quiet under a table and people stop to fuss them as they walk past.

I remember a thread in AIBU where the OP posted about her holiday being RUINED, because she went in a dog friendly restaurant and a dog was in there.
The dog friendly bit was in the conservatory, probably due to having easy to clean flooring, and she insisted it should be a premium (and dog free) area due to the views of the beach and sea.
She asked the staff to get the dog and owners moved, and they obliged but gave the dog owner a bottle of wine to apologise for the entitlement of the OP. OP exploded over this and refused to pay for her meal, and also insisted on a bottle of wine because a dog was in her view.
It was ridiculous.

I no longer have a dog, but seeing a dog in a cafe makes my day. I miss mine so much.

I remember that! There was no reasoning with them whatsoever.

No, the problem is that most cafes are dog friendly and it’s honestly disgusting. It’s so grim.

Thread like that makes me laugh when dog owners are called entitled.

Is that what I said? Or are you just making stuff up?

According to you.

The fact that most are dog friendly surely suggests you’re in the minority. Stop going to places that happily accept dogs then complain dogs are there. It’s seriously stupid.

I don’t 🤦‍♀️ I make my distaste quite known without going in, because I’m certainly not visiting an establishment that advertises itself as so unhygienic.

And they accept dogs because dog owners are mugs and will shell out over the odds for their mutts.

The cafe I went to gives you 10% discount if you have a dog with you, so that does not really tally with dog owners being "mugs".

If allowing dogs makes a place unhygienic then how come they can still have a 5 star hygiene rating?

So what’s your problem? 😂 Fuck me, this is like pulling teeth.

What's unhygienic about a dog sitting under a table?

She wont go to dog friendly places, but still does not like dogs being in them despite the fact she is not even in there with them.
How does that make sense?

It makes her eyeballs dirty 😂

I’m picturing her scowling at the door to make her distaste known. The stupidity is staggering.

This current debate is exactly what I’m talking about @YeOldeGreyhound @Melsy88 @Mooselander . There’s no way people can agree.

I agree there are too many dog friendly cafes and restaurants and not enough options for people who don’t want to have their salad with a side of dog dander.

However I would never go into an cafe that marketed itself to dog owners if I didn’t want to be around them.

Then it just becomes a mud slinging match

Could always start a petition. Similar here if you need ideas.

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/733824

I have seen similar ones started and they always struggle to get to 4 figures in signatures.

I don't like dog friendly cafes, or dogs being allowed to come to the front door, or in the office or at choir, because I don't like dogs jumping up at me, trying to lick me etc. (Maybe that's why I like terriers because even if they do they can't reach far!)
Every dog owner who says "but he's friendly" seems to be insisting I should be ok with a dog jumping up at me. If I see a dog in a human-designated indoor space (work, house etc) I have no idea if they are going to jump up.

If all dogs were excellently behaved and left me alone I'd be happy with them in cafes, work etc. But I have no idea which dogs are well behaved and I've never come across a cafe owner or similar who's asked an owner to leave with a badly behaved dog.

I can't agree that dogs should not exist in society or should exist but be silent at all times and never go anywhere near a non dog lover.
I also can't agree with the need to compare the importance of dogs and children.

I do agree that there are some irresponsible dog owners and they should be pulled up on things like allowing dogs to jump at people, not picking up poo etc. There are also plenty of irresponsible non dog owners.

To me the solution is simple that we all need to accept we each have different priorities and we all need to be as considerate of others as we can. I don't see why that's so difficult.

Life doesn't need to be so difficult!

450 on this one. Closed in February without much luck. The next one might be different though 🤷‍♀️

Totally agree that dogs shouldn't be jumping up and you have every right to complain about that.
I have never had a dog jump at me in a cafe - maybe I've just been lucky

That is an issue I agree. There is never any challenge. I was at a pub a few months ago and a dog was going fucking mental. Did the landlord ask them to take the dog outside? Of course not - people just had to put up with it

I think there is a fear of confrontation which is how the irresponsible owners get away with it and the Overton window of dog acceptability has grown. If you’re the sort of person who is going to bullishly bring your dog to inappropriate places then you are probably also the sort of person not to take kindly to challenge so people just decide it isn’t worth it.

I've already said that I like dogs, but the problem would be the owners.

I was in my favourite farm café one time, coincidentally at the same time as an acquaintance. She has two dogs.

One of the dogs piddled all over the floor under the table. To my consternation, she did request paper towels from the staff, but lied and said that her dog had been sick after eating one of the dog treats that had been made available by the café...

My acquaintance mopped up the liquid with the paper towels, but it was a member of staff who disinfected the floor.

The last time I was in, I realised that dog treats are no longer supplied.

That experience means that any time I'm in a dog friendly café now, I do my best to find a table well away from anyone who has a dog with them.