How do we ACTUALLY solve the rift between dog people and non-dog people?

[Talkingtomyhouseplants]

Inspired by yet another dog thread where all the SAME arguments are trotted out again and again:

The Pro Dog People say:

• The dog is my family, you need to treat it like family
• Why would I get a dog just to leave it at home?
• It’s just a dog, it’s not bothering anyone
• My dog is less annoying than your child
• I love my dog more than I love people
• The dogs are ALLOWED to be there so it’s okay that I bring them places
• If my dog isn’t invited, I would probably choose to stay home as I prefer most dogs to people anyway
• My house is my dog’s home too, I won’t be shutting it away for anyone
• My dog isn’t dangerous - he’s a bit softy.

The Anti Dog People Say

• I’m allergic/scared/don’t like being around them - please keep them away from me
• It’s a pet, not your family
• A dog is not a child
• I won’t have dogs in my house
• Dogs are dirty and unhygienic - they shouldn’t be in shops or places where you eat
• I’m sick of dogs barking and jumping up at me in public and I keep stepping in dog poo
• There are too many places that either actively allow dogs, or more often don’t challenge people who bring them anyway so dogs eventually become allowed
• Dog owners are entitled and pushy and this is why they are now suddenly everywhere
• It’s dangerous to have dogs around children
• Dogs can bite/kill people
• There are too many untrained dogs who are treated like people

Same arguments on both sides, every time.

In my personal life I can think of at least two situations where these opposing views are creating real rifts in families because the dog person wants to bring a dog, and the non-dog person doesn’t want to be around said dog. I can feel it becoming more polarising in society generally, anti dog people are more vocal about being anti dog and pro dog people are more pushy about full inclusion of dogs in human spaces.

So what is the actual solution?

Pick up dog crap. Always!
Train the dogs not to bark too much and not jump up on others. Odeally keep them on leads in public

I am a dog person and own one, and I can see both sides.
I would never dream of insisting on bringing my dog to the house of someone who didn't want him there. If a non-dog person came to my house, I'd ensure my dog didn't bother them BUT I wouldn't shut him away. I do see him as family.
Re the children thing....I don't think keeping dogs away from nervous kids is the answer. It does them no favours in the long run. Of course you don't let your dog bother the kids but they should learn how to behave around dogs, not go up to strange dogs without owners permission etc. Dogs are everywhere, they are not going to go away and you don't want children developing a phobia of them.
I do take my dog to cafes/pubs where they are welcome but I also think there should be cafes and pubs etc that don't allow them, for the sake of non-dog lovers.
Balance in everything!

I love my dog nuff said

That's fine. But don't expect everyone else to. Or tolerate being rushed at,barked at or jumped on. That's what causes the problems. Not to mention dog poo.

No, sorry but you are incredibly stupid. Have you been in a house with every single dog breed in the world? Because if you haven't you cannot spout your bullshit.

You are a moron. As I have said, time and time again (although morons don't seem to get it) I have many friends with dogs and some of their houses smell of dog and some don't. Can you understand that? Do I get nose blind in some houses and not others? Ridiculous claim by you.

My MIL would definitely have told us if our house smelled. No way she would not have done. She told us when we had a cat.

You are wrong whether you like it or not.

@rwalker, just read what you post. You talk
of stench, you know that dog owners are nose blind and humanise their dogs, to the point they think they are their sisters (you said it).

Have you owned a dog? You seem to know so much about dog ownership.

No one likes being rushed at, or jumped on. I don't care about a dog barking at me in somewhere like a park. It is not harmful. It is more disturbing to think that dogs should be silent all the time. Barking in a cafe would not be fine though.

Barking is extremely irritating. We have a lot of it where I currently live (we’re moving!) and it’s very distracting, intrusive and stressful to listen to. There is one particular man who hasn’t trained his dogs not to bark at all and lets them all out at once three times a day to go mental. It’s a loud noise and can be frightening for people especially children - why would you WANT them to bark?

I’m now thinking creating dogs that don’t bark might actually go half way to solving the problem tbh!

Saying dogs should not bark at all is like saying people should not talk. It is a primary form of communication for them.

Some rescue dogs do not bark because they had their vocal cords cut.

I find screaming kids very stressful too.

🤣
You do know that some dogs have been specifically bred for their barking abilities.

As for the man letting his 3 dogs out all at once.... ever thought that these dogs having playtime ? It's no different to kids playing football or bouncing on a trampoline. So if you are able to tolerate children playing and screeching, you should be OK with dogs playing for a a little bit 3-4 x a day.

It’s an entirely different kind of noise though. They growl at each other. Children playing is wholesome and serves a purpose

According to you.

Screaming children are not wholesome in any way.

I think you are the type of poster to let their kids run riot in a cafe and not give a shit.

I am ND, and shrieking children is no good for my nervous system whatsoever.

It’s such a grating sound.

I can't deal with it at all. I have been in cafes where people have let their children shriek, and I have had to leave. I have left my food and drink on the table before. It is that or risk being so overwhelmed I have a meltdown.

Sorry, but playing children are not wholesome at all. Whatever happened to Children shuld be seen, not heard ! 😉

Is sound blind a thing? I think some parents are that.

Obviously not but to pacify you I’ll go for a high % smell
I’m sensing I’ve touched a nerve has someone told you your house smells

honestly all I’ve done is comment and gave opinion on dog smells and your off like a rocket quiet aggressive saying in spouting bullshit , moron and completely stupid hardly a balanced reply
tbh is demonstrated how neurotic people are about dogs

Sound deaf? Selective hearing probably , where parents can tune out their own screeching kids but can detect a dog who barks once 2 miles away.

Read your post back, it didn’t make enough sense to touch anything.

They also think everyone should love and tolerate their kids.
I have had kids come up to my table in a cafe and try to grab my food. Why are their parents not watching them? Oh yes, kids are humans and are entitled to be in cafes so everyone else has to put up with bad behaviour because one day they will be paying taxes and be a productive member of society 🙄

My greyhound probably barked about 10 times during the 15+ years I had her. When we first got her, a neighbour asked if she was ok as he was not hearing barking or whining.

I’ve told this story here before, but I had a kid throw stones at my dog in a cafe garden before. Parent’s were all “tarquin, we mustn’t do that”. I made my thoughts clear and they left thankfully. What I haven’t done though, is blame all kids or all parents.

If I go to someone's house that has a dog, unless they shut the dog away they always come to the door and it's 50/50 whether the dog jumps up at me.
Now this may be just people I know, but having DCs who go on play dates I do go to new people's houses quite often.
I really really hate being jumped up at even if the dog is "friendly'.
I'm sure this is very unreasonable and I should just learn to love badly behaved dogs but if I'm taking your DC to the swimming pool, maybe you could keep your dog in the living room because, newsflash, not everyone likes dogs.

I have told mine before too. I was on a cafe with my greyhound and she was fast asleep at my feet. A chid came up to her with a toy and was about to hit her on the head with it. It was a solid plastic toy and would have really hurt my dog. Thankfully, the child's mum noticed and intervened.
Another time, my dog was running to me in our local park, and a kid ran up to get in the way and tried to kick her in the face.

I try and remember all the positive things. Things like children asking nicely if they can stroke my dog, or asking questions about her. The vast majority have been fine and I would not tar all children and parents as the same.