I’ve unknowingly given my partner an STD!

[MeganBoo]

I’m feeling beyond shit right now and want the ground to swallow me up. I’m 25, been with my current partner for 2 years and I really do see a future with him and even have plans to move to his area. We’re very sexually active, don’t want to go too much into details but recently he started getting marks on his privates. We both genuinely thought nothing of it as the marks looked like scars and we ruled it off as it being from the amount of sex we have and friction.

Well…last week he went to get checked for the first time and he’s informed me today that I’ve given him an std. I know it can’t be from his previous partners as he’s only had two before me and they were both virgins and no cheating etc. I feel mortified and disgusted in myself for giving him something that he’ll now have to live with! My minds working overtime right now and I have no idea who gave it to me, how long I’ve had it for etc, I don’t understand how I had no symptoms.

Im currently staying at my partners house and he’s at work, he popped round for 10minutes to inform me I’ve given him something and asked who I’ve been cheating on him with. I haven’t cheated on him at all, we broke up for a bit at the start of last year and I met up with my ex, we were supposed to just talk as he said he wanted closure but we ended up sleeping together and when I told my current partner and tried to explain how me and him weren’t together at the time he called me a slag and said how men can sleep about but not women (even though he was also sleeping with an ex at the time). He left the house again after this conversation so I’m now here dwelling on everything and I feel like we didn’t even start talking about the whole situation properly, I want time to hurry up so he can come back and we can talk properly but it’s going so slow right now and I can’t relax or eat I feel so on edge.

I don’t know what our future together looks like now but I feel like my world’s just fallen apart. I hate myself for giving him something and can’t even describe how bad I feel…I don’t know if he’ll forgive me as right now I don’t even I can’t even forgive myself. Just needed to let this out as I’m feeling a whirlwind of negative emotions right now.

You don't know you have given him anything. Unlikely that he only had sex with virgins before meeting you. He sounds horrible.

Hold on a second, have you been tested and had a positive result for the std? He sounds like a complete twat anyway and you'd be better off binning the knob head. Saying men can sleep around but women can't? Yeah, we're not in the 50's now mate🙄

You've been with him two years, but the marks only showed up recently?

Methinks he's telling porkies.

I call bullshit on him. If he’s just started with symptoms, you’ve had no symptoms at all and not slept with anyone else for so long the maths aren’t mathing.

Plus his attitude stinks if he thinks it’s ok for men to sleep with someone and women can’t.

Let this one and his rancid cock go.

He's using this as a way to break up with you. He wants to finish the relationship and this is how he's choosing to do it.

@MeganBoo do you have somewhere to go?

@Devilsmommy I must admit the last time I was tested was a while ago however when he went to get tested last week I told him how I want to get tested as well but he said there’s no need as whatever he has I’ll also have.

Yeah fuck that, utter tosh.

Yeah, I'm willing to bet he gave it to you, not the other way around 🤨

When you say marks, what do you mean? Like genital warts? Firstly, if that’s what they are, HPV, which is the virus that causes genital warts, is incredibly common. It’s spread by skin to skin contact, not penetration.

His previous partners could well have been virgins, but still had HPV because you don’t have to have sex to transmit it. He or they could also be lying. If you don’t have any obvious warts yourself, it would be a lot less likely that they came from you. Generally speaking, in a long term infection, you’d expect some warts yourself. If you don’t have any, definitely be protecting yourself now so that you don’t get them from him. His warts can be treated topically and while they won’t eliminate the risk of you getting it, it will reduce your risk.

Or he’s been unfaithful and is blaming her.

He doesn't get to decide whether you get tested or not, total bullshitting on his behalf I'd say. You need to get tested to see what treatment you need if indeed you have the STI. I suspect if you do have an STI, then he has given it to you, don't let this wanker gaslight you, he sounds appalling.

I really don't think you have.

@Hazelwoods I have my own house I can go to but I’m currently staying at his which is over 100miles away from where I live and I don’t drive so will have to rely on him to take me home. We were planning for me to go home tomorrow though so it should be okay.

It's pretty clear that he's the one who has contracted the STD and the fact you appear to have not even considered this is wild.

You have absolutely no idea if you have it or not but if you do it will have been him that gave it to you.

I hope you have somewhere to go. I would be leaving him ASAP.

Oh wow. He cheated

WAKE UP!!! He’s cheater and blaming you!!! Wow!!! Dump his std infested dick.

Go and get tested asap.

What STD has he got?

How does he propose you get treated for the STD if you can't go to the doctor? I would definitely go and get tested.

Chinny reckon. Sounds like he's been unfaithful.

he called me a slag and said how men can sleep about but not women

I mean do you care about the future of a relationship with a hateful misogynist?

And men who think that way about women think nothing of cheating, sex workers, nothing.

Sounds like bullshit to me if you have an std, regardless of where it came from, you need to be tested and treated

Dont have sex with him again and get tested asap.

Why is it assumed that you gave it to hin???

What std is it? There's a chance you can have things like HPV without symptoms.
But if it's something like herpes you would've had at least one outbreak yourself before if you had it. If you haven't then he's the one who's cheating. Or he didn't admit to having it before you slept together.

He sounds delightful.

He says it's ok for men to sleep around but women who do are (even if it's a one-off when you're not in a relationship with him)? For that alone, you should dump him.

And now he's clearly been having sex with someone else and is blaming you. Get out as fast as you can. And get yourself checked - heaven knows what he's passed on to you. If nothing else, you'll be able to talk to a health professional and get some answers.

This is dodgy to me. You need to get tested because you may well not have anything but he doesn't want you to know that. Don't sleep with him in the meantime.

BTW do not let him guilt /shame you. Even if he exes said they were virgins they aren't anymore. And she wasn't when they started having sex again when you were on a break.

Double standards are sexist bullshit and worth ending a relationship over.

What STD have you allegedly given him? When were you last checked for STDs and have you actually had unprotected sex with anyone but him since then?

Hes the one who has symptoms, he doesn't want you getting tested? I think he knows the source and its not you..