Relatives ordering baby birthday gifts straight to our house… normal or not?

[BlackCat14]

Not sure if I’m ungrateful here but wanted to see what others think.

Our baby is one in a few weeks. We’re having a little family party at home for him on the day. In the last week, three separate relatives have sent (large!) gifts directly to our house. I’m talking a swing, a water tray thing and a play kitchen. They are all huge and have come in loads of cardboard packaging. One of them turned up as a total surprise with a note on the inside as to who it was from, the other two, the relatives text on the day or on the day before with a screenshot saying like “we ordered this for Maxs birthday, it’s arriving at yours today.”
I just feel a bit…ffs… about it all. His birthday isn’t for a few weeks, it’s just another thing for us to have to do. Unwrap it all, take the huge pieces of cardboard to the tip, store it somewhere. All three of these people are coming to his party. I just would’ve thought it would’ve been more the norm for them to get the gift sent to their house, sort it out themselves and then bring it round on his birthday? Not just send it straight to us weeks before? This is our first baby and the first baby in the family for this generation so maybe I’m just clueless on how things work. I’m grateful for the gifts but just a bit irked that they’ve turned into jobs for us!

It actually sounds quite sensible to have large items delivered directly to you - wouldn't bother me at all.

Why would it not be ”normal”, and why would this even cross your mind? Presumably it’s easier than trying to transport it themselves.

My son is 5 now and we’ve had this every single year. Not all large presents, but always at least a few people who deliver gifts directly to us without wrapping them - often with no note as to who they’re from. It drives me crazy.

We also organise parties at our house, and while I love them, the prep beforehand can be quite a lot, so having extra gifts to wrap on top of all that gets a bit fucking annoying!

It’s crossed my mind because I’m wondering where I’m supposed to store all these things for the next few weeks and when I’m going to find time for a tip run with all the cardboard. I just wondered if it was “normal” to see if other people do this as well, or if they order the gifts to their own house and take them round on the day of the child’s birthday.

Get use to it! They’ll be plenty of making, building and dump trips for years to come, unless you plan on only buying toys/equipment ready made.

Haha yeah maybe this is just my true intro into what parenthood is really like 🤣

Accepting gifts is “another thing” for you to do? Really?

A one year old has no concept of a birthday gift, it’s logical for close family to send slightly larger gifts to you directly rather than bring it to a party.

Its no more work for you to receive it now vs 3 weeks.

Yes taking all the stuff to the tip is “another thing” for me to do, for sure.

Yes this, it wouldn't really be practical for them to build a swing /kitchen/water tray thing and bring it with them you would still have boxes to get rid of .

Having the items delivered directly wouldn't bother me, but a text saying its arriving tomorrow without checking first would. Maybe I have plans and don't have all day to wait around for the delivery.

How does what change vs them gifting it on the birthday? Your issue was getting the gifts in advance from your OP not the items.

Normal in our family

YABVU. This is completely normal. . He is one, he won’t know they are for him. You can keep them anywhere. The cost of all these lovely thoughtful presents is a tip run. Which you would have to do anyway.

birthdays, parties, Christmas all generate planning and waste. And least this year you don’t have to hide them

I do it to my DGC but I discuss it first. I have purchased things to send to them then been charged £60 to do so.

I like getting DD to wrap them.

But you will still need to go to the tip regardless I think for next birthday and Christmas say he isn't needing any large toys and maybe give a list so you don't get large gifts and associated packaging.

I think it's normal to get gifts delivered directly to the birthday child's house, the bit I'd be annoyed about is someone buying a large sized present without checking first. What if you don't want a swing or had already planned to get one?

I think I was sort of hoping they’d take them out of the packaging themselves and bring them round presented nicely 🙈🤣 clearly expecting too much, which is fair! At least I know now this is normal and can just be ready for it in future years!

Wouldn’t you have to dispose of of the cardboard regardless, or were you expecting the gift givers to do that for you as well?

Yeah there is this as well!

Having things delivered to me - not a problem. And if not gift wrapped I tend not to bother.

But the physically large gifts without prior negotiation are an absolute no for me.

Quite normal in our family and especially for the first couple of birthdays when they typically get useful/practical items which can be a bit bulky. Always discussed and agreed in advance though, in case they wanted something else or whatever.
Even if they’d turned up with the presents they’d still be in their boxes so you’d still have the cardboard to contend with. Just get them out and start using them now, a 1 year old has no idea what a birthday is and will possibly be overwhelmed with a load of stuff on a day when everyone is round watching them anyway. Don’t bother wrapping anything either.

Can't you put the boxes out next to the recycling bins?

Oh, x post. Honestly, op, get over yourself.

I actually can’t imagine being upset about someone buying gifts for my DC.

I always do this with big gifts for my DGC but I do check with my DC first and make sure they're happy with it and I let them know when things are expected. I'd be happy enough to go and accept the things if they were going to be out.
But it makes far more sense to have things like slides or kitchens delivered to the child's house. We've got a small car - some things wouldn't fit in it. Also, I still wouldn't be assembling something large and then trying to transport it even in a bigger car/van - far too easy for it to be damaged.
Perhaps just ask people to only give your DC small presents if the big ones are causing you problems.