Relatives ordering baby birthday gifts straight to our house… normal or not?

[BlackCat14]

Not sure if I’m ungrateful here but wanted to see what others think.

Our baby is one in a few weeks. We’re having a little family party at home for him on the day. In the last week, three separate relatives have sent (large!) gifts directly to our house. I’m talking a swing, a water tray thing and a play kitchen. They are all huge and have come in loads of cardboard packaging. One of them turned up as a total surprise with a note on the inside as to who it was from, the other two, the relatives text on the day or on the day before with a screenshot saying like “we ordered this for Maxs birthday, it’s arriving at yours today.”
I just feel a bit…ffs… about it all. His birthday isn’t for a few weeks, it’s just another thing for us to have to do. Unwrap it all, take the huge pieces of cardboard to the tip, store it somewhere. All three of these people are coming to his party. I just would’ve thought it would’ve been more the norm for them to get the gift sent to their house, sort it out themselves and then bring it round on his birthday? Not just send it straight to us weeks before? This is our first baby and the first baby in the family for this generation so maybe I’m just clueless on how things work. I’m grateful for the gifts but just a bit irked that they’ve turned into jobs for us!

I'm gonna have a hunch that this is one of the first grandkids. Everyone excited has seen the lovely weather and is thinking outdoor toys. If you had a winter baby you wouldn't have his issue.

It seems you were envisioning them popping round in the morning to assemble it for you and stick a bow on it and taking the recycling home with them when they were done. I think you're asking a bit much. Yes it's annoying having to deal with the recycling but this is what every Christmas and birthday is going to look like for years to come now.

So you’ve assembled it already, yet the birthday is a few weeks away… so why are you moaning about storing it in the house?

Either way you will have to find a home for them 🙈🤣. The items you have said, I think it’s very sensible and I’m gutted I have never thought of that myself 🤣. We’ve a running joke between myself and sister. I had children first and she would buy the noisiest most annoying toys for mine (with spare batteries!) so when she had hers I repaid the favour with big gifts like kitchens etc never thought of sending them direct to her house 🤣 xx

Do you not have card board ( recycle) collection? If you don’t you must be the only ones in the country.

Ok I’ll stand up and say that to me it’s not normal and I get why you’re annoyed. It would be a cold day in hell before I landed a large gift on someone without discussing it in detail first. If it was going to be too complex for me to take myself then just possibly I would agree with them to do this but I’d be more likely to give them the money tbh.

Gobsmacked at the ‘I like to get my dd to wrap it’ comment but that’s presumably a joke.

What a generous family you have. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, and all that....

I think it would be normal to get it delivered to you but it’s polite to discuss large gifts with you first as you in case you already brought it or don’t have space. We did have grandparents buy my daughter a kitchen but it was with our agreement because we wanted it. Most of toys you need mention would be hard to fit in the car fully assembledz

I've done this in the past, propped it next to the bin first thing. I went out when I heard the bin lorry to ask nicely but it was already gone. It I wouldn't leave more than one large item at a time though.

Id be more annoyed they hadnt checked with you first, what if you had already got these items from yourselves to your child. Or if you werent in to take the delivery. Not everyone would have the space for these, built or unbuilt. My family have always checked with us re large gifts

I know it can be overwhelming OP - I’m glad you’ve decided to build them now, he’ll be able to enjoy them throughout the summer!

I would say though, if this has stressed you then make sure to allow at least double the time you think you’ll need on Christmas Eve for assembling toys - trust me on this (😖)

My family do this frequently. My mum always insists on sending wrapping paper and a gift tab separately, which is very sweet but always manages to post it too late so it never arrives in time.

But how would that work with a swing or a sand table? How would they unwrap it all build it and then bring it round?

However it’s entirely unreasonable for people to be buying these large items without so much as a discussion about it. That’s absolutely unreasonable and I would talk to people about that and say in future please discuss large gifts with me because we wanted to buy a swing set/we dont have space for x because we wanted x there. Etc.
But how you expect someone to bring a swing set all set up and ready to go nicely presented without any work for you I literally have no clue!!

I hated it when people sent my kids things that I had to build and find room for - it's actually a very inconsiderate present because it makes additional work for the parents. Large gifts should definitely be something that you check are wanted before purchasing.
My mum bought my kids an enormous subbuteo table that took up half my lounge - she meant well but only got as far as thinking the kids would like it.
The dustmen should take the cardboard though if broken up

@Luckylu123. DD moved to the other end of the country. All the family lived near me. So she would send presents to me to wrap and deliver on the day. Just a bit of good hearted revenge.

I’ve had this. Several Christmas/birthday presents where they’ve literally just wrapped the Amazon boxes. Drives me a little crazy.

My steak is too juicy and my lobster too buttery…

I seem to be in the minority but I'm with you OP. Its not normal in my family. While I wouldn't expect the giver to unpack and assemble the gift I would expect them to bring it with them to the party. It just seems very impersonal otherwise

I used to get annoyed if anyone bought mine large gifts because we live in a tiny house with a small garden! But if you have the space then that’s lovely. I’ve always been presented with the box and they’ve never put it together for me?! I think that’s wishful thinking on your part!

As someone who lives in a small house, I can see how getting several large things delivered all at once would be overwhelming. However, it is also very kind and has saved you a lot of money on some wonderful playthings! Assuming they're not too far to visit, could you message saying "Thank you so much for the gifts, X will be thrilled with them.... We'd love for you to come and see him playing with them. I am struggling to get rid of the packaging, would you be able to do a tip run please? Beers/coffees and lunch on us!" (Make them some sandwiches and buy a few cakes!)
If they're too far to help, chuck the cardboard boxes on Facebook Marketplace - someone could take them to use as packing boxes for a move.

Regardless of whether it's delivered directly to you or they bring it themselves, I think they should ask before they purchase gifts that are large in size. You might not want a huge swing taking up room in your garden or you might have seen a different model that you prefer. There's also a chance that someone else will have bought the same thing!

If you spend a little less time moaning on here that your family have bothered and sent your child’s gifts I’m sure your find time for the tip 🙂 your post is giving ungrateful little mare vibes

Of course it is normal. Why would they send it to themselves and the. Have to transport it again?

Your child is one. You don’t need to wrap it. They won’t remember any of it, so just do what’s best for you.

I’ve not read all the posts so don’t know if this has been suggested but make use of the cardboard boxes! It will be the present they use the most, especially as they get older. Genuinely don’t know why we buy the toys 😂 my two (2 and 11 months) prefer all the cardboard boxes and make games with them. So far we’ve had a den, a shop, a coffee shop, an ice cream parlour and a tunnel. Although I have said when it’s their birthdays this year that I would like most people to buy clothes rather than toys if possible because we’ve got so much crap (lovingly bought toys) they don’t play with and we really don’t need anymore! But if they do buy toys I’m shipping them off to their grandparents house 😂