Relatives ordering baby birthday gifts straight to our house… normal or not?

[BlackCat14]

Not sure if I’m ungrateful here but wanted to see what others think.

Our baby is one in a few weeks. We’re having a little family party at home for him on the day. In the last week, three separate relatives have sent (large!) gifts directly to our house. I’m talking a swing, a water tray thing and a play kitchen. They are all huge and have come in loads of cardboard packaging. One of them turned up as a total surprise with a note on the inside as to who it was from, the other two, the relatives text on the day or on the day before with a screenshot saying like “we ordered this for Maxs birthday, it’s arriving at yours today.”
I just feel a bit…ffs… about it all. His birthday isn’t for a few weeks, it’s just another thing for us to have to do. Unwrap it all, take the huge pieces of cardboard to the tip, store it somewhere. All three of these people are coming to his party. I just would’ve thought it would’ve been more the norm for them to get the gift sent to their house, sort it out themselves and then bring it round on his birthday? Not just send it straight to us weeks before? This is our first baby and the first baby in the family for this generation so maybe I’m just clueless on how things work. I’m grateful for the gifts but just a bit irked that they’ve turned into jobs for us!

How are they meant to transport large, heavy items like a swing to your house? Wow, someone orders your child an expensive present, sends it to you and still you are unhappy about it.

I won’t add any more to what others have, but a tip… if it’s a sand and water tray, make sure you cover the sand when not using - cats can be quite fond of sand pits for pooping in!

She better get used to it.

Having things delivered, fine, but buying those big things without discussing with you is totally inappropriate. I’d be furious about that. We would simply have no space for those things.

How ungrateful are you?! If you don’t want your family to buy your child gifts, then tell them.

I don't know why you've got your knickers in such a twist about this.

Did you expect them to gift warp these items and then squash them into their cars on the day of the party?

Your child is one year old and will absolutely love the big boxes. If you're smart you'll keep them.

I think this definitely counts as YABU

However I totally get it! We also have one child and no others in the family, so everyone lives their carefree adult lives and we have no “village” or help. Leave the gifts boxed and day of the party dump the cardboard in someone’s car to take to the tip, I’m sure they can fit it in as probably retired and only have golf and cycling planned.

My child is pre-teen now, although Sen needs, so the parenting is still very high demand, and even if someone very kindly sends me flowers, I find that a lot of effort. It’s not easy having small people to care for and so little time!

What do you sound like OP? No joy on anything? Just the wotk side of sny situation
Can't believe you sre so put out at such generosity. There will be plenty more stuff shifting in years to come
Start enjoying life stop whinging

I do that with my dgc if the present is large or I might not see them. Even if I took the present, it would still be in its box and need making and packaging disposed of. I wouldn't buy a large item without running it past my dd.

I have 4dc and I honestly don't remember anyone ever buying them anything big or expensive! I bought everything - though at least I could choose. Dm and df preferred gifting experiences.

Id say very sensible. For gifts that size. Next year they will send money if hear you moaned. Then YOU have to find time to do the shopping!

All our family do this its completely normal. So much less hassle,

If they are large gifts they would struggle to transport to your house then completely acceptable. My mum lives on the other side of the country, when she visits she brings her two large dogs plus luggage so doesn't have space for gifts in the car especially large ones, so she nearly always gets delivered direct to me and I am fine with it. Just appreciate the gifts.

OMG the entitlement! Would you have preferred they bought your child nothing so that you'd have to both pay for the stuff and assemble it/ dispose of packaging yourself?

you should be thanking the gift givers for their thoughtfulness and generosity. your child gets brand new things to use and play with, all you have to do is put them together and take a trip to the dump (or leave the boxes outside for the recycling surely?!), whenever you find the time, no one is telling you when or how. Or maybe you could ask nicely when you see the gift givers if they might find some time to assemble it for you, this is the kind of thing granddads/ uncles for example might happily do if you ask nicely.

And as for having lots of boring things to do like trips to the dump and assembling things - welcome to parenthood. I'm amazed it's taken you this long but you have another 17 years of it so get used to it hun.

Try practicing some gratitude and thinking how lucky you and your baby are. It will help with your outlook generally.

YABVU.

But you’d need to take the packaging to the tip anyway?

You were expecting them to put a swing together and bring it round ready-assembled????
Re your cardboard waste, can you tie it in a bundle and put it out next to your recycling bin? Check your Council App or website: our Council allows this.

Nobody assembles the presents (except parents on Christmas Eve) so you'd have exactly the same amount of assembling and cardboard waste to dispose of whether it arrived a week early by delivery or by car with your relatives.

Babies don't care about dates or wrapping paper.

Just thank your relatives for their generosity and crack on.

Other than my parents, all our family do this. It does annoy me as I then have to wrap it myself and put a gift tag on, given I also send the link of what to buy, it does all feel a bit mercenary - they may as well just send the cold hard cash and I'll get the gift, wrap it and label it all myself without the pretence. At least this is a big gift which I imagine is hard to transport over. It's also nice they're thinking of your little one. Try and see the positives!

Just tear the damned cardboard up and pop it on your compost heap, or put it in your recycling bin. No need for tip runs surely?!

This is perfectly normal tbh. Sounds like they’ve thought ahead for a nice lasting gift

Sounds normal. Why would you think it isn't?

I think for big gifts this is normal. They wouldn’t unpack a swing, build it and wrap it. Much easier to have it delivered to you.
We've had the same with a sand pit and a toy kitchen. I’d find it weird if it was something small and they hadn’t wrapped it and brought it with them on the day though.

Big things I accept this is the best way.

But what annoys me is when people order a bunch of small stuff from amazon or wherever, send it direct to your house and don't bother wrapping them.

It really is just another job, because lets face it, young kids love unwrapping presents! And I don't want my kids to miss out.

I have one family member who does it all the time, who has previosly complained her own children's gift was wrapped in a reusable fabric wrap, and didn't get to rip off the paper

i have two young kids and I would be unimpressed if a relative bought them a large gift without checking with me first if we had space for it.

but if you get the chance to ok future gifts, sending directly to you makes much more sense than my MIL’s strategy of buying crap from Temu, having it delivered to the other side of the world, and then posting it to the UK 👀

I actually don’t think yabu. Small gifts are fine to be delivered to the house if they can’t make the party for example. But no one should be buying a swing or kitchen set without checking with you first! This is what would bother me about it as well as having to put them together!! The water table is probably acceptable.